LoVe and Marriage (Logan/Veronica)

[kristen0912]

 Title: LoVe and Marriage
Author: Kristen
Pairing/Character: Logan/Veronica
Word Count: 3423
Rating: PG-13
Summary: She looks up at him and smiles. "How does it end?"  "Happily ever after, maybe?"
Spoilers: Futurefic, mentions of the pilot
Warnings: Some sensuality, nothing explicit
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or

Comments

He is daring her to save them

[peznarski]

Kid, you are from here on forward banned from talking smack about your work. Seriously

Re: He is daring her to save them

[kristen0912]

Which is probably why I elicit you as a beta for my nonfic stuff...

Boring grammar question: If I drop the quotation marks for thoughts is the dialogue attribution also dropped?

And second boring less grammar more usage question: Although sounding board is an actual term, isn't a "soundboard" someone you bounce ideas off of (unfortunately Wikipedia has soundboard in its disambiguation page, which means that it may or may not be valid) Thoughts?

Re: He is daring her to save them

[peznarski]

I think dialog attribution can still stand to good effect, even though the "dialog" in question is internal:

Maybe that's why Mark never has a date, she thought, watching him spread his soup through his hair. He still thinks spoons are things that happen to other people.
It keeps the flow of the narrative in good order, and helps the reader understand who's thinking what. The problem with adding quotation marks is that it could lead a reader to misconstrue the thoughts as spoken

Re: He is daring her to save them

[kristen0912]

You should give yourself more credit. Sometimes you go for the pumpkin.

[fangirlgonewild]

This was very nice, incredibly subtle and expertly rendered. There is a very intense kind of maturity that you've brought to both characters here, I can believe that Veronica and Logan became these people. It's sad and sweet all at once--I believe the person above me very correctly characterized it as a beautifully "hopeful" ending.

[kristen0912]

Thanks for the comment!

And random addage, I kind of love your icon. I pretty much started watching GG for KB, but isn't Chuck kind of a poor man's rape-y Logan Echolls?

[fangirlgonewild]

Oh, I love Chuck. Chace Crawford is cute and all, but Ed Westwick gets all the best lines and he's so good. I can't even explain how much I love him. Rape-thing aside. That wasn't so good.

Like the book says...she's just not that into you.

[poniesforall]

This was just so beautiful and sad and real. Couples can love each other and sometimes lose their communication.

It had a lovely flow to it. It ebbed from desolation to expectation.

[kristen0912]

Thanks for the comment. I have trouble with happy endings and declarations of love. I'm glad you enjoyed reading.

[worldwasasong]

I really like this. The tension is great. The sense of quiet desperation backed by love and hope that pervades this is tangible. I like what hints you gave about backstory. But I felt like something was missing: the actual backstory. It didn't have to be huge, just a one or two sentence reason for why he's mad at her, why she's been avoiding him for a month, etc. I feel like you built up the story, the tension and conflict between them, but without the reasons why the fight and accompanying emotions exist, it all became just a little bit meaningless. This could just be me. There are so many good things about this. The slow build of the fighting kept me on edge, and I kept thinking about how realistic it was as I read. Lovely writing, and I'm really glad I read it. Thanks for posting.

[kristen0912]

I guess I didn't really have any one thing in my head that caused Logan and Veronica's marriage woes. I wrote keeping in mind the kind of people they were in S3. The why's were more of a numb discontent over the people they still were, emotionally unavailable and jaded.

I know that doesn't really address your concern for actual backstory. I was thinking there were a lot of little things that brought them to where they were. In any case, I appreciate the feedback.

[worldwasasong]

Oh, S3! Dude. I forgot all about that. Which is silly, I know, but I didn't watch most of it out of pure hatred and have tried to block it out of my mind -- apparently successfully. I don't actually know from what season/perspective I was looking at Logan and Veronica when I read your fic, but it wasn't the S3 version of them. Now that I'm looking at it from that POV,
the idea of them being "emotionally unavailable and jaded" as a result of S3 and whatever else came after that makes so much sense. In short, your fic makes so much more sense/works better for me. Sorry about my total blanking out, :).

[anonymous]

Its almost scary how well your discriptions match their characters. It's completely compatible with who they would be when older. Heartbreaking, akward, silent, emotional, warm and fuzzy. Amazing job & I'll definetly be reading this more then once later on. =)

[kristen0912]

Thanks for the comment. It felt strange to write LoVe with limited banter, but in the end, I was happy with the dialogue.