so i decided to start using this again because i feel like i can get things figured out more clearly. i doubt anyone will read this since i posted that i wasnt using it anymore. but livejournal has always been a friend to me and blogspot isnt the same. i went back and read a bunch of old entrys and it made me realize how much growing up ive done ( Read more... )

"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your own hands are clean"

so things are going much better for me and matthew. weve talked alot over the past few days and we both are working on the things we know have sort of fallen short in this relationship. I want to make it work, i really do. i love him. hes good for me, he takes care of me. sometimes he can be a little controlling but he saw the mess I was before i ( Read more... )

im sick of being hurt. im sick of feeling like i mean nothing to the one person who means more to me then anyone else. im sick of feeling like all my feelings are wrong. that im happy when i shouldnt be or sad when i should be happy.  matthews hurt me more in the past few months then all my other bfs put together. he makes me feel like ill never be ( Read more... )

i cant beleive how little i write in this now compared to 2007. if you go back and look at the calenders, i wrote once sometimes three times a day in 2007. the only year i did that. its weird... anywho ive been so stressed lately. with work and taking care of britt. its alot harder then i thought. i really cant handle it. i have no help from anyone ( Read more... )

so figure ide do a little update since i havent in 2 weeks. My birthday has come and gone and it was great. Johnny and Matthew got me a grill and matthew bought me a kindle. I cried when i got my kindle. ive wanted one for so long. hes so good to me. completely spoils me and i love him so much. tonights joes bday and bill just got a job at ( Read more... )

so things have just been crazy  lately. ive been going out to camp and its been surprisingly fun. me and bethany are civil now, the past is behind us. im over it and so is she. its good. no more drama. i missed going out there. i loove ashley, markys g/f. she is just the shit. we hung out alot lately and amanda and rob got engaged. i do miss the ( Read more... )

i am sooo excited. this summer is going to be totally amazing. im going to old orchard for the week with johnny leah and matthew in june, then new jersey for waterfest in july, then ocea city maryland for H2Oi in september. so thats three vacations. not to mention the numerous concerts im going to. live and candelbox with my dad, toby keith and ( Read more... )

so i deleted my last entry, i just needed to vent, no need to keep a remember of a crappy day because someone doesnt know when to quit. if you text me over and over again and i dont answer, dont text me. give it up. it gets annoying, i tried to be friends... obviously its too difficult. anyways. me and matthew are good now, we've had some tough ( Read more... )

My Ten Names:

1. Your Real Name : Brandie Lee Long

2. Your Gangsta Name: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle) -Braizzle

3. Your Detective Name: (favorite color and favorite animal) - Green Penguin

4. Your Soap Opera Name: (your middle name & street you live on) - Lee Sword

5. Your Star Wars Name: (first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters ( Read more... )