everyone at walmart thinks i'm pregnant.

There's this huge fucking killer wasp in the kitchen. I'm so scared and I'm here all alone with kittens and puppies and they won't save me. I don't know what to do... so I'm locking myself in the bedroom until Michael gets home... like three hours! I fucking hate flying stinging mother fucking bugs! And it's fucking January! Shouldn't it be dead or ( Read more... )

I had such a terrible time sleeping last night. It was super fucking windy and I was afraid tornados were going to come early just for my soul. When I did fall asleep I had silly dreams ( Read more... )

Marilynn died last night.

i think marilynn is sick... i can't tell though b/c i know nothing about cats since i used to hate all of them. but shit, i'm somewhat worried. she threw up on the couch earlier but i don't know what a fucking hair ball looks like... ?? its not supposed to be all liquidy is it? it was pretty gross. and her eyes are all whacked... and all she does ( Read more... )

i sold my car to angie. tonight it was stolen. what are the odds of that? really now...

so hey i'm in missouri now and stuff. there's snow and it's fucking cold. but hey, we found a cat and saved it from death... maybe. anywho, it's name is marilynn and she's so little and cute. but sabastian and girl cat dont like her :( god, i hope i dont talk about the pets the whole time. gross ( Read more... )

I know I've made up some pretty rediculious stories, but I want you folks to know that the following one is 100% mother fucking rediculiously true ( Read more... )

I'M GONNA PUKE UP EVERY GOSH DANG MEAL I'VE EATEN IN THE PAST MONTH. HHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH. FUCKING SICK. TMI, PEOPLE, T-M-I. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAAHAHH. UGH. HAH HAH HAHAHAHHA. I'M GONNA PUKE AND LAUGH AND PUKE SOME MORE AND HOPEFULLY CHOKE ON MY OWN VOMIT AND DROWN IN TOILET WATER AND KILL THE PART OF MY BRAIN THAT REMEMBERS THIS SHIT. FUCK ( Read more... )

2004 kicked my ass. seriously. never have i been any happier than i was this year. maybe it didn't start out so well, but it ended with a happy apryl ( Read more... )