Lately

[kuro_hi_karasu]

Last January (2009) I had a personal crisis. I didn't know what to do with my life, everything seemed so bleak. The truth is I'm terrified of being alone. Always have been

Comments

[adriisspecial]

I'm really sorry you feel this way. And in a sense, I'm exactly the same. The main problem I've had was my constant moving. I've been to 8 different schools over the past 17 years of my life. A solid and reliable friendship was something I never had. I was always dreaming of having just one person that would always be there for me. But it was unrealistic and always ended in disaster. Probably the worst thing I ever did for myself was begin depending on other people for my happiness. To make up for the lack of friends I had I tried to replace that with romantic love, but what happens when that goes wrong? It’s naive to think it would last forever, at my age anyway. And then you're left with absolutely nothing. Because for me, I had given all of myself to him, and he gave nothing back. So now, I literally have to start from scratch. My point is, I know the deep, dreadful loneliness that you speak of. I have sunken so low I feel like it would just be better to give up and die rather than to struggle on through this horrible excuse of a

[kuro_hi_karasu]

Thanks, that was truly sincere, and I could really tell you know where I'm coming from. But for me it seems like even though thing's only get better over time, things haven't been taking that route yet.