What You Wish For (Chapter 6)
Title: What You Wish For
Author: alliterationhor
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Spoilers: mentions of Yama.
Rating: PG-ish
Status: 6/12 chapters. the halfway point!
Author's note: No flashbacks (this chapter)! *gasp*
Fanfic archive here.
Comments/concrit appreciated.
Previous chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12
What You Wish For
Time goes by, we can never stay the same . . .
-FictionJunction Kaori, Tsubasa
Chapter Six
Breakfast with Tomoyo was now an every day occurrence. A few times a week, they also had dinner with Tomoyo.
Fai noticed that Souma usually joined them for breakfast every day now. He realized that Tomoyo and Souma must have agreed to let him have breakfast alone with Tomoyo those first times. But he said nothing, he only smiled.
Tomoyo and Souma noticed that Kurogane showed up for breakfast more often now than he had before his travels; more often now that Fai was there as well. But they said nothing, only smiled.
Kurogane noticed that he showed up for breakfast more often now than in the past, but he did not take the time to examine why.
* * *
Souma walked into the sunny clearing with a picnic basket over one arm and a rolled up blanket in the other. Fai was stretched out in the grass languidly, limbs flung wide and eyes shut against the sunshine.
“Fai-san.”
“You do not have to apologize, Souma-chan.” he said, without opening his eyes.
“I want to.”
She put down the basket and rolled out the blanket beside him. Fai sat up, still on the grass.
“I know that you were only trying to help. You did not know what would happen.”
Souma took a seat at one end of the blanket and looked down at her hands as she spoke. “I should have realized that if it was that simple, you would have told him yourself already.” She looked up into his eyes. “I am sorry, if I made this harder for you. I can’t imagine ...”
Fai shook his head. “The only ones with fault in this are me, and Kurogane.” He drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. “But he gave up something precious for me, and for himself too. He does not know that anymore, but I do.” Fai smiled a little sadly, but his voice was even and light. “That is my burden, and I will bear it.”
“So he will never, ever remember you?”
“No.”
“It’s just ... so sad.”
“But there is nothing to be done about that.” A smile crossed his face, more genuine now. “Kurogane would tell me it is stupid to dwell on the things I cannot change, and he is right. Kurogane and I are both here now, and that is what is important.”
“He still loves you. I can tell.” Souma offered the mage a small smile. “He will realize it in time.”
“You are a good friend, Souma-chan.” Then Fai grinned and made a grabby hand motion at the basket. “Now, what did you bring me?”
* * *
Kurogane had started swordplay practices for his Guard, and for any other members of the staff who wished to attend. He held them once a week on one of the practice fields behind the palace. He had learned a lot about how to teach from giving Syaoran lessons, and he had discovered that he liked it. He missed it, as well.
Kurogane missed the brat too, and the princess (and on very, very rare occasions, when he was not feeling right in the head, the white manjuu too). He would never admit that, but he knew it nonetheless.
They had recovered all of Sakura’s feathers and said their goodbyes, and he did not think he would ever see them again. Kurogane was at peace with that; they were in their world, where they belonged, and he was where he belonged.
He was home.
Still, whenever they would pop into his thoughts, he would take a moment to wish them well and hope they were happy.
* * *
Kurogane scowled as he leaned against Esmeralda.
It seemed like Fai was everywhere Kurogane looked on most days, making himself annoyingly useful. When he wasn’t on Guard duty, Fai was usually in the kitchen experimenting with desserts. But when he was not there he was in the gardens trying to help the gardeners with the pruning, or fixing the clock in the central hallway, or making the squeaky-hinged door in the east wing not squeak anymore.
When Kurogane had not seen Fai around for awhile, he could usually find Fai reading a book in the sunshine near Esmeralda.
And it seemed that wherever Fai went, more often than not, Jalen was trailing behind him.
Kurogane had walked into the small clearing and seen the two of them sitting there and laughing, and he felt like his privacy had been invaded somehow.
“Hello, Kuro-min!” Fai cried, waving.
Kurogane grumbled, “My name is Kurogane.”
“Um, Fai-san.” Jalen piped up, after a moment of tension.
Fai looked up.
Jalen stood, his movements a bit awkward. “I should be getting back to the kitchens.”
“Okay. Thank you for bringing me lunch, Jalen-kun.”
“You’re welcome. I will see you later.”
“Alright.”
Jalen left, and Kurogane glared at the boy until he was out of sight. He realized he was acting stupid; he had no reason to be jealous. It annoyed him even further.
Kurogane glanced at Fai, who seemed quite oblivious. “Are you still reading the dictionary?”
“Hm? No.”
“What is that, then?”
Fai held up the book proudly. “This is a thesaurus!”
“You’re crazy.” Kurogane stated.
“Yes.” Fai agreed, and continued blithely flipping through his thesaurus.
Kurogane took a seat and leaned back against Esmeralda, his arms crossed. He stared at Fai, who was irritatingly absorbed in his reading.
This guy was somehow becoming a part of his life. Possibly an important part. And Kurogane was not sure whether he liked the idea or not.
A few minutes later, Kurogane asked, “Who is he to you?”
Fai looked up, blinked. “What?”
“Who is he-to you?” Kurogane repeated, nodding his head in the direction Jalen had scurried off in. He felt compelled to point out, “You don’t need a language tutor anymore.”
Fai’s eyebrows drew together in slight confusion. “He is a friend.”
“Is that all?”
“Are ... you ... jealous?” Fai asked slowly, surprised and a bit delighted.
“No.”
Fai nodded, but did not quite believe that. “Jalen-kun is not my type.”
Red eyes narrowed. “Your type.”
Fai smirked. “I like a big strong man who can throw me over his shoulder.”
“Hm.”
They had never actually discussed boys versus girls during their dimension travels. They had never discussed previous lovers, either. But Fai had been pretty sure that he was not Kurogane’s first experience with the same sex.
Fai had wondered how much Kurogane had guessed about his relationship with Ashura, but he had never volunteered any information about it.
“Does that bother you?” Fai asked curiously.
“No.”
“Does that ... interest you?” Fai continued, smiling.
Kurogane’s glare sharpened on him. “No.”
“So. You like girls?”
“No.”
“You like boys?”
“Girls are too ...” Kurogane shifted a little uncomfortably. “... soft.”
Fai smiled a sly smile. “What do you like?”
“I like people who know when to shut up.” Kurogane said pointedly.
Fai laughed. “Guess you do not like me then!”
* * *
Swordplay practice was much more fun now than it was in Yama.
Swordplay practice still did not require much talking; the language was still mostly physical.
In Yama, swordplay had been a distraction from the fact that Kurogane and Fai did not really speak the same language.
Now, Fai and Kurogane were on much more even footing.
Kurogane was stronger, but Fai was quicker. Kurogane was too used to fighting with a sword. Fai taught him a few new tricks that involved hands and feet and agility and maneuverability.
Fai was able to make Kurogane sweat. He was proud of that.
And Kurogane looked very good sweaty, which was a nice bonus.
* * *
The kitchen staff had come to simultaneously adore and fear Fai.
They adored his skill at baking and loved to taste the plethora of desserts he made. He was given free run of the kitchens to make (or attempt to make) whatever he wanted.
His charm and good cheer and his inability to take “no” for an answer were also factors in this.
But Fai had the mysterious ability to ruin any dish prepared with meat just by touching the utensil. He was banned from the kitchen during the time when the meals were prepared, but the rest of the time the kitchen staff all but tied him to the chairs to make him stay.
Fai had also begun experimenting with things other than desserts. Things that required much stranger ingredients than could be found in a normal kitchen.
Only Jalen was brave enough to ask him about those.
And Fai’s answer would be only an enigmatic smile.
* * *
“You’re happier lately, you know that?”
“I am?” Kurogane grumbled.
Gareth smiled. “Don’t worry. It’s not something most people can tell.”
“Good.”
* * *
Kurogane was not on guard duty tonight, but he always made one round through the palace before he went to sleep. It was a habit by now, but even before it had been a habit he had found it difficult to close his eyes at night without making sure of the security of the palace.
He paused at the doorway to the library and peered inside the room. There was a lamp lit, but no noise from inside.
At the center of the stacks there was a large table and comfy chairs for sitting in while reading. Fai was asleep with his cheek on the page of an open book and his blond hair askew.
Kurogane stopped and stood still for a moment, watching as Fai breathed with the slow cadence of sleep.
Fai looked peaceful. Even though Kurogane was sure that Fai would have an ache in his neck in the morning, he did not want to disturb the man’s sleep.
Kurogane took off his cloak, draped it over the wizard’s back and tucked it around his shoulders, then turned to leave.
A sleepy mumble of a voice came from behind him, “Goodnight, Kuro-ko.”
“Goodnight.”
* * *
Fai ran, sprang from the ground, twisted in the air and would have gone past Kurogane easily.
Except that Kurogane unconsciously predicted the move and blocked it before he thought about the results it would have. Instead of Fai sliding past him, they knocked together and tumbled, hard and ungraceful, to the ground.
They rolled, ending up with Fai sprawled on the grass and Kurogane mostly on top of him.
Kurogane looked over at his arm, realizing he had flung his sword away before they hit the ground so that it would not injure either of them. He frowned, thinking. So that it would not injure Fai.
He looked down, at blue eyes wide and startled and staring up at him.
“Why is it that I always feel like you have the unfair advantage?”
Kurogane spoke the question in a reasonable voice, not angry. It was an odd question to be directed to someone he was currently on top of.
“Strange.” Fai reached up and touched Kurogane’s jaw, with a pained look on his face. “I always feel that way about you.”
Kurogane touched the place on his jaw, and his fingertips came away with a tiny smear of red.
* * *
Kurogane knocked once and opened the door to Tomoyo’s sitting room. Tomoyo and Fai and Souma were inside, having breakfast.
“Tomoyo-hime. Your visitors have arrived.”
“Thank you, Kurogane.” Tomoyo said as she and Souma rose from their seats. “Please, sit and have some breakfast.”
“I should accompany you-”
Tomoyo swept past him and nudged him into the room. “They have already seen you, Kurogane-san. I am sure that was more than enough to suitably intimidate them.”
Fai laughed softly.
“And Souma is perfectly capable. Sit, and have something to eat.”
Tomoyo closed the door, smiling.
Fai laughed again, and Kurogane scowled.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, as he took a seat.
Fai smiled at him placidly, his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand. “You are adorable. Big scary ninja being bossed around by a tiny little princess.”
Kurogane drew himself up straight, lifting his shoulders and his head proudly. “I have no shame in my loyalty to Tomoyo-hime. I owe her my life.”
“I would never think it shameful.” Fai assured him solemnly. Then he smiled again. “I think it is adorable.”
Kurogane looked at the blond man for a moment. “Am I being set up?”
Fai looked at him blankly. “Set up?”
Red eyes narrowed at Fai suspiciously. “Is this a date?”
Fai grinned like a Cheshire cat. “Do you want it to be a date?”
“Why would I want it to be?” Kurogane grumbled.
“You brought it up, Kuro-puu.”
“My name is Kurogane.”
Fai continued blithely, “But if this is a date, I expect candy.”
“What?!”
“Or flowers. But I would prefer candy.” Fai said, licking jam off his knife.
With an amazing feat of self-control, Kurogane did not let himself be distracted by the sight of Fai’s tongue. “You don’t get flowers or candy.”
Fai frowned. “You are a terrible date.”
“This is not a date!”
“That is a relief. This date would be off to a horrible start. Jam?”
* * *
In all their travels together, Kurogane had never fallen. Kurogane had never gotten much more than a scratch.
Fai had not realized that he thought Kurogane was invincible, until he was confronted with the reality that Kurogane was not invincible.
Fai stared, eyes wide in horror, at Kurogane laying on the bed in the medical ward with the white sheets stained red around him.
“Kurogane ...”
The voice that answered him was not much more than a croak.
“Don’t use my real name or I’ll think I’m going to die.”
“You are not going to die.”
“No, I’m not. So stop looking at me like I am.”
Fai nodded, expression unreadable.
Kurogane was not sure if he passed out, but he thought he heard a low whistle as his eyes closed.
* * *
Fai found out later what had happened. Kurogane had been called out to a small village on the outskirts of Tomoyo’s kingdom, to fight the dragon that had been terrorizing the village. The dragon was large, but nothing Kurogane could not handle.
No one had known that it had kits, though.
The kits were small still, but deadly quick. They had attacked him all at the same time. Talons in his arms, claws in his legs, a spiked tail had punctured his thigh. Kurogane was fortunate the kits were not yet old enough to breathe more than a flicker of fire or the damage would have been much worse.
Kurogane had only gritted his teeth and made no sound, and had not passed out until he made sure the dragon and its’ kits were slain.
* * *
“Hey.”
Fai’s head snapped up at the low, gravelly voice. “Hm? Oh, you are awake.”
“I feel too good.” Kurogane muttered, without moving or opening his eyes.
“Is that a complaint?” Fai asked, aiming for lightness.
“I know about injuries. And I know about healing.” He paused, took a slow breath; spoke on the exhale, “You used magic, didn’t you.”
Fai was quiet for a moment. “Only a little.”
Kurogane opened his eyes and looked up at the magician sitting beside him. “Why?”
Blue eyes looked into red steadily. “Because you were in pain. And I did not like it.”
Kurogane’s eyes drifted closed again. His bandaged hand touched Fai’s for a second, then fell back to the bed. “Thank you.”
“Do not think you can make a habit of this.” Fai informed him sternly. “The next time you-” His throat closed up and he could not finish.
“I don’t intend there to be a next time.”
Very quietly, “Make sure of that. Please?”
Fai’s hand crept closer to Kurogane’s, fingertips laid so lightly against the back of the bandaged hand that Fai was not sure if Kurogane could feel the touch.
Kurogane smiled a little as he fell asleep again.
* * *
The medical ward was quiet, the air still.
Without opening his eyes, Kurogane knew that Tomoyo was sitting beside him.
“Tomoyo-hime.”
Tomoyo sighed, reaching to take one of his large hands in her delicate ones. “It is only the two of us here. You need not be polite, Kurogane.”
“Alright.”
“You are going to be okay,” Tomoyo promised, setting a cool hand against his forehead.
Kurogane’s eyelids fluttered, but his eyes did not open. “Thank you.”
“It is not thanks to me.” she said quietly. “He did not leave your side until he was sure you would be alright.”
“Where is he?”
“I told him I would stay with you and I made him go get some rest.”
“Thank you.”
“Shut up, Kurogane.” she said, voice soft and full of affection.
* * *
Kurogane had been transferred from the medical ward to his own bed, and was now well enough to sit up for short lengths of time. He raised the bowl of salve Fai was applying to his burns and sniffed it.
“This is magic.”
Fai tilted his head at Kurogane curiously. “How do you know?”
“I can smell it.” he stated, then scratched his nose as if it itched.
“I did not think those without magic could-smell-it.”
“I grew up with magic. My mother was a miko. My princess is a miko. I don’t understand it very often, but I know what magic smells like.”
Fai thought that perhaps Kurogane had more magic in him than he thought he did.
Fai finished wrapping Kurogane’s arm in white gauze. He picked up the bowl, holding it in front of his face and staring at it.
“The ingredients, when mixed together correctly, are magical. But it takes no magic to create it.” He ran a soft hand over Kurogane’s warm forehead. “You are fortunate. I only found the substitute for astzoran a few days ago. Without it, I could not make this Kenet.”
“Kenet?”
“It is a salve that protects against fire. And it heals burns.”
“Very useful. Thank you.”
Fai rolled his eyes, irritated. “Stop thanking me. Just rest, and get well.”
“Yes, sensei.”
Fai laughed a little.
* * *
There was a bit of envy from the rest of the Guards, over the stranger that Kurogane had asked to join the Guard. It was not a malicious envy; the Guards had seen that the stranger was skilled and they were free to challenge him if they wanted to test their strength against him. Most of them did.
The Guards knew that Kurogane had good judgment. They knew that he would never disgrace them by letting someone unworthy or untrustworthy into their ranks.
Still, there was a bit of envy.
The stranger had been accepted by Kurogane in a way that it had taken most of them years to accomplish. And Kurogane did seem to spend much more time practicing with the stranger than he did with any of them.
Kurogane had never asked anyone else to join the Guard before; the rest of the Guards had sought the position themselves.
When Fai overheard the nickname, he decided that he was quite okay with being called, “Kurogane’s favourite.”
* * *
Fai held up a bowl of something that was the most unappetizing shade of beige Kurogane had ever seen.
“Please?”
“No.” Kurogane answered firmly. “I’m not letting you experiment on me.”
“Kuro-sama.” Fai pretended to be hurt. “Do you not trust me?”
“I don’t trust your cooking. I tried that pie you made, it was disgusting.” Kurogane reminded him.
“That was ...” Fai waved a hand dismissively. “A miscalculation of ingredients.” He pointed, “This is not.”
Kurogane raised an eyebrow as he looked at the suspicious brownish glop. “How do you know it won’t turn me into a frog?”
“It is banana soup.”
“... banana soup?”
“With cherries!”
“No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
“What about if I try it first,” Fai spooned some into his mouth, “then you try it?”
“There should be a twenty-four hour waiting period to see if you die mysteriously.”
“Oh, I understand.” Fai nodded sagely. “You are scared.”
Kurogane glared. “I am not scared.”
“You are scared of banana soup.”
Fai held up the bowl between them, a teasing smile on his lips.
Kurogane knew exactly what Fai was doing. He knew, and he was not going to fall for it-
Kurogane grabbed the spoon and shoved it into his mouth. The texture was more like jelly than soup. And the taste was ...
“Interesting.”
“Kuro-myu likes it?” Fai asked, voice eager.
“Interesting.” He made a face as he swallowed. “And disgusting.”
* * *
It was just after sunset in the small, secluded clearing. Across the lake, the horizon was still glowing and overhead the stars were already winking in the sapphire sky.
Kurogane sat down next to Fai and glanced over at the blond man.
“What are you listening to?”
Fai smiled, face upturned toward the sky. “The stars are singing tonight.”
Kurogane looked upward for a moment, listening. “I can’t hear them. What does it sound like?”
“It is beautiful. It is ... not sound, completely. It is sound that you feel.”
“Sound that you feel.” he repeated, hoping for a better explanation.
“It is like ... Here.” Fai put one hand over Kurogane’s heart. “It is-deep inside. Like a heartbeat.” His hand began to thump, slow and gentle, against Kurogane’s chest; the rhythm of a heartbeat. “It is ... a deep hum ... of music. It sings.” He smiled a little shyly, let his hand drop, and looked back up toward the stars. “Tonight they sing of hope.”
Slowly, very slowly, Kurogane raised his hand and pressed his palm against Fai’s chest. He could feel the strong and steady beat of the magician’s heart under his palm. He knew what it would sound like if he could hear it, but he could feel it.
Kurogane thought he understood what Fai meant; it was a connection.
“Sound that you feel.”
* * *
Fai woke up, stomach pressed flat against the warm earth. He smelled dirt and green. There was something warm at his side. He moved fingers experimentally; fingers touched skin. Touched fingers. A hand.
Face still down in the grass, Fai grinned.
Kurogane was snoring. Very, very low snores, like a kitten. Fai had never heard him snore before.
Fai turned his head and pressed his nose and forehead against Kurogane’s shoulder, resting there for a minute. Then he propped himself up on one elbow and watched Kurogane sleeping.
After a moment, “Good morning,” said Fai.
“Stop staring at me.” Kurogane returned without opening his eyes.
“How do you know I am staring at you?”
“How did you know I was awake?”
“You stopped snoring.”
“Ninjas don’t snore.”
Fai poked him. “This ninja does! Tiny little kitten snores. So cute!”
“I do not snore.” Kurogane grumbled, “And if I did, it would not be tiny little kitten snores.”
“Well, you were not awake. So you cannot know if I am wrong.” Fai teased.
Kurogane finally opened his eyes and looked up at Fai. “Good morning.” He pushed himself up onto his elbows, rubbing a hand over his face. “Were we out here all night?”
“No,” Fai answered, toes in the grass.
“No?”
“You fell asleep, I picked you up and carried you to your bed, then I slept in my bed. Then I woke up and carried you back out here, and stared at you till you woke up.”
“Elaborate.” Kurogane commented. He fell back onto the grass again. “Amazing I didn’t wake up for all that.”
“Must have been the kitten snores.” Fai answered seriously.
“I do not snore.”
Fai laughed. “Do too.”
“Do not.”
* * *
“Do too!” Fai sang.
“Do not.” Kurogane growled.
Tomoyo and Souma looked up in surprise as the two came into the room, still bickering.
The two men looked like they had slept in the clothes they were wearing, Kurogane’s shirt was smudged with dirt, and there was grass in Fai’s hair.
“Good morning! Do too,” he added, to Kurogane.
“Good morning,” Tomoyo said, as the less surprised of the two women.
“Good morning. Do not.”
“What do you do?” Souma asked, perplexed.
Kurogane glared at Fai, and Fai smirked evilly back at him.
“Don’t you dare.”
Fai cackled. “I will not tell-if you admit you do.”
Kurogane sighed. With great reluctance, he said, “I suppose ... it’s possible ... that maybe ... I do.”
“Ha ha! You do!”
Souma was still confused, Kurogane was annoyed, and Tomoyo and Fai were happy.
* * * * *
end note: a cookie to anyone who knows where I stole borrowed Kenet from.
also note: it is official, this fic has eaten my brain. and that's not even counting the unofficial 13th chapter, the prequel, or all the other lil random bits I've written/am going to write.
another note and many, many thanks: I am fully aware that I suck at returning comments. I'm actually very shy. but I am still awed over the response to the last chapter, I really expected more things to be thrown at me. you guys are truly the coolest, and I really really really do appreciate every comment. ♥
Author: alliterationhor
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Spoilers: mentions of Yama.
Rating: PG-ish
Status: 6/12 chapters. the halfway point!
Author's note: No flashbacks (this chapter)! *gasp*
Fanfic archive here.
Comments/concrit appreciated.
Previous chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12
What You Wish For
Time goes by, we can never stay the same . . .
-FictionJunction Kaori, Tsubasa
Chapter Six
Breakfast with Tomoyo was now an every day occurrence. A few times a week, they also had dinner with Tomoyo.
Fai noticed that Souma usually joined them for breakfast every day now. He realized that Tomoyo and Souma must have agreed to let him have breakfast alone with Tomoyo those first times. But he said nothing, he only smiled.
Tomoyo and Souma noticed that Kurogane showed up for breakfast more often now than he had before his travels; more often now that Fai was there as well. But they said nothing, only smiled.
Kurogane noticed that he showed up for breakfast more often now than in the past, but he did not take the time to examine why.
* * *
Souma walked into the sunny clearing with a picnic basket over one arm and a rolled up blanket in the other. Fai was stretched out in the grass languidly, limbs flung wide and eyes shut against the sunshine.
“Fai-san.”
“You do not have to apologize, Souma-chan.” he said, without opening his eyes.
“I want to.”
She put down the basket and rolled out the blanket beside him. Fai sat up, still on the grass.
“I know that you were only trying to help. You did not know what would happen.”
Souma took a seat at one end of the blanket and looked down at her hands as she spoke. “I should have realized that if it was that simple, you would have told him yourself already.” She looked up into his eyes. “I am sorry, if I made this harder for you. I can’t imagine ...”
Fai shook his head. “The only ones with fault in this are me, and Kurogane.” He drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. “But he gave up something precious for me, and for himself too. He does not know that anymore, but I do.” Fai smiled a little sadly, but his voice was even and light. “That is my burden, and I will bear it.”
“So he will never, ever remember you?”
“No.”
“It’s just ... so sad.”
“But there is nothing to be done about that.” A smile crossed his face, more genuine now. “Kurogane would tell me it is stupid to dwell on the things I cannot change, and he is right. Kurogane and I are both here now, and that is what is important.”
“He still loves you. I can tell.” Souma offered the mage a small smile. “He will realize it in time.”
“You are a good friend, Souma-chan.” Then Fai grinned and made a grabby hand motion at the basket. “Now, what did you bring me?”
* * *
Kurogane had started swordplay practices for his Guard, and for any other members of the staff who wished to attend. He held them once a week on one of the practice fields behind the palace. He had learned a lot about how to teach from giving Syaoran lessons, and he had discovered that he liked it. He missed it, as well.
Kurogane missed the brat too, and the princess (and on very, very rare occasions, when he was not feeling right in the head, the white manjuu too). He would never admit that, but he knew it nonetheless.
They had recovered all of Sakura’s feathers and said their goodbyes, and he did not think he would ever see them again. Kurogane was at peace with that; they were in their world, where they belonged, and he was where he belonged.
He was home.
Still, whenever they would pop into his thoughts, he would take a moment to wish them well and hope they were happy.
* * *
Kurogane scowled as he leaned against Esmeralda.
It seemed like Fai was everywhere Kurogane looked on most days, making himself annoyingly useful. When he wasn’t on Guard duty, Fai was usually in the kitchen experimenting with desserts. But when he was not there he was in the gardens trying to help the gardeners with the pruning, or fixing the clock in the central hallway, or making the squeaky-hinged door in the east wing not squeak anymore.
When Kurogane had not seen Fai around for awhile, he could usually find Fai reading a book in the sunshine near Esmeralda.
And it seemed that wherever Fai went, more often than not, Jalen was trailing behind him.
Kurogane had walked into the small clearing and seen the two of them sitting there and laughing, and he felt like his privacy had been invaded somehow.
“Hello, Kuro-min!” Fai cried, waving.
Kurogane grumbled, “My name is Kurogane.”
“Um, Fai-san.” Jalen piped up, after a moment of tension.
Fai looked up.
Jalen stood, his movements a bit awkward. “I should be getting back to the kitchens.”
“Okay. Thank you for bringing me lunch, Jalen-kun.”
“You’re welcome. I will see you later.”
“Alright.”
Jalen left, and Kurogane glared at the boy until he was out of sight. He realized he was acting stupid; he had no reason to be jealous. It annoyed him even further.
Kurogane glanced at Fai, who seemed quite oblivious. “Are you still reading the dictionary?”
“Hm? No.”
“What is that, then?”
Fai held up the book proudly. “This is a thesaurus!”
“You’re crazy.” Kurogane stated.
“Yes.” Fai agreed, and continued blithely flipping through his thesaurus.
Kurogane took a seat and leaned back against Esmeralda, his arms crossed. He stared at Fai, who was irritatingly absorbed in his reading.
This guy was somehow becoming a part of his life. Possibly an important part. And Kurogane was not sure whether he liked the idea or not.
A few minutes later, Kurogane asked, “Who is he to you?”
Fai looked up, blinked. “What?”
“Who is he-to you?” Kurogane repeated, nodding his head in the direction Jalen had scurried off in. He felt compelled to point out, “You don’t need a language tutor anymore.”
Fai’s eyebrows drew together in slight confusion. “He is a friend.”
“Is that all?”
“Are ... you ... jealous?” Fai asked slowly, surprised and a bit delighted.
“No.”
Fai nodded, but did not quite believe that. “Jalen-kun is not my type.”
Red eyes narrowed. “Your type.”
Fai smirked. “I like a big strong man who can throw me over his shoulder.”
“Hm.”
They had never actually discussed boys versus girls during their dimension travels. They had never discussed previous lovers, either. But Fai had been pretty sure that he was not Kurogane’s first experience with the same sex.
Fai had wondered how much Kurogane had guessed about his relationship with Ashura, but he had never volunteered any information about it.
“Does that bother you?” Fai asked curiously.
“No.”
“Does that ... interest you?” Fai continued, smiling.
Kurogane’s glare sharpened on him. “No.”
“So. You like girls?”
“No.”
“You like boys?”
“Girls are too ...” Kurogane shifted a little uncomfortably. “... soft.”
Fai smiled a sly smile. “What do you like?”
“I like people who know when to shut up.” Kurogane said pointedly.
Fai laughed. “Guess you do not like me then!”
* * *
Swordplay practice was much more fun now than it was in Yama.
Swordplay practice still did not require much talking; the language was still mostly physical.
In Yama, swordplay had been a distraction from the fact that Kurogane and Fai did not really speak the same language.
Now, Fai and Kurogane were on much more even footing.
Kurogane was stronger, but Fai was quicker. Kurogane was too used to fighting with a sword. Fai taught him a few new tricks that involved hands and feet and agility and maneuverability.
Fai was able to make Kurogane sweat. He was proud of that.
And Kurogane looked very good sweaty, which was a nice bonus.
* * *
The kitchen staff had come to simultaneously adore and fear Fai.
They adored his skill at baking and loved to taste the plethora of desserts he made. He was given free run of the kitchens to make (or attempt to make) whatever he wanted.
His charm and good cheer and his inability to take “no” for an answer were also factors in this.
But Fai had the mysterious ability to ruin any dish prepared with meat just by touching the utensil. He was banned from the kitchen during the time when the meals were prepared, but the rest of the time the kitchen staff all but tied him to the chairs to make him stay.
Fai had also begun experimenting with things other than desserts. Things that required much stranger ingredients than could be found in a normal kitchen.
Only Jalen was brave enough to ask him about those.
And Fai’s answer would be only an enigmatic smile.
* * *
“You’re happier lately, you know that?”
“I am?” Kurogane grumbled.
Gareth smiled. “Don’t worry. It’s not something most people can tell.”
“Good.”
* * *
Kurogane was not on guard duty tonight, but he always made one round through the palace before he went to sleep. It was a habit by now, but even before it had been a habit he had found it difficult to close his eyes at night without making sure of the security of the palace.
He paused at the doorway to the library and peered inside the room. There was a lamp lit, but no noise from inside.
At the center of the stacks there was a large table and comfy chairs for sitting in while reading. Fai was asleep with his cheek on the page of an open book and his blond hair askew.
Kurogane stopped and stood still for a moment, watching as Fai breathed with the slow cadence of sleep.
Fai looked peaceful. Even though Kurogane was sure that Fai would have an ache in his neck in the morning, he did not want to disturb the man’s sleep.
Kurogane took off his cloak, draped it over the wizard’s back and tucked it around his shoulders, then turned to leave.
A sleepy mumble of a voice came from behind him, “Goodnight, Kuro-ko.”
“Goodnight.”
* * *
Fai ran, sprang from the ground, twisted in the air and would have gone past Kurogane easily.
Except that Kurogane unconsciously predicted the move and blocked it before he thought about the results it would have. Instead of Fai sliding past him, they knocked together and tumbled, hard and ungraceful, to the ground.
They rolled, ending up with Fai sprawled on the grass and Kurogane mostly on top of him.
Kurogane looked over at his arm, realizing he had flung his sword away before they hit the ground so that it would not injure either of them. He frowned, thinking. So that it would not injure Fai.
He looked down, at blue eyes wide and startled and staring up at him.
“Why is it that I always feel like you have the unfair advantage?”
Kurogane spoke the question in a reasonable voice, not angry. It was an odd question to be directed to someone he was currently on top of.
“Strange.” Fai reached up and touched Kurogane’s jaw, with a pained look on his face. “I always feel that way about you.”
Kurogane touched the place on his jaw, and his fingertips came away with a tiny smear of red.
* * *
Kurogane knocked once and opened the door to Tomoyo’s sitting room. Tomoyo and Fai and Souma were inside, having breakfast.
“Tomoyo-hime. Your visitors have arrived.”
“Thank you, Kurogane.” Tomoyo said as she and Souma rose from their seats. “Please, sit and have some breakfast.”
“I should accompany you-”
Tomoyo swept past him and nudged him into the room. “They have already seen you, Kurogane-san. I am sure that was more than enough to suitably intimidate them.”
Fai laughed softly.
“And Souma is perfectly capable. Sit, and have something to eat.”
Tomoyo closed the door, smiling.
Fai laughed again, and Kurogane scowled.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, as he took a seat.
Fai smiled at him placidly, his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand. “You are adorable. Big scary ninja being bossed around by a tiny little princess.”
Kurogane drew himself up straight, lifting his shoulders and his head proudly. “I have no shame in my loyalty to Tomoyo-hime. I owe her my life.”
“I would never think it shameful.” Fai assured him solemnly. Then he smiled again. “I think it is adorable.”
Kurogane looked at the blond man for a moment. “Am I being set up?”
Fai looked at him blankly. “Set up?”
Red eyes narrowed at Fai suspiciously. “Is this a date?”
Fai grinned like a Cheshire cat. “Do you want it to be a date?”
“Why would I want it to be?” Kurogane grumbled.
“You brought it up, Kuro-puu.”
“My name is Kurogane.”
Fai continued blithely, “But if this is a date, I expect candy.”
“What?!”
“Or flowers. But I would prefer candy.” Fai said, licking jam off his knife.
With an amazing feat of self-control, Kurogane did not let himself be distracted by the sight of Fai’s tongue. “You don’t get flowers or candy.”
Fai frowned. “You are a terrible date.”
“This is not a date!”
“That is a relief. This date would be off to a horrible start. Jam?”
* * *
In all their travels together, Kurogane had never fallen. Kurogane had never gotten much more than a scratch.
Fai had not realized that he thought Kurogane was invincible, until he was confronted with the reality that Kurogane was not invincible.
Fai stared, eyes wide in horror, at Kurogane laying on the bed in the medical ward with the white sheets stained red around him.
“Kurogane ...”
The voice that answered him was not much more than a croak.
“Don’t use my real name or I’ll think I’m going to die.”
“You are not going to die.”
“No, I’m not. So stop looking at me like I am.”
Fai nodded, expression unreadable.
Kurogane was not sure if he passed out, but he thought he heard a low whistle as his eyes closed.
* * *
Fai found out later what had happened. Kurogane had been called out to a small village on the outskirts of Tomoyo’s kingdom, to fight the dragon that had been terrorizing the village. The dragon was large, but nothing Kurogane could not handle.
No one had known that it had kits, though.
The kits were small still, but deadly quick. They had attacked him all at the same time. Talons in his arms, claws in his legs, a spiked tail had punctured his thigh. Kurogane was fortunate the kits were not yet old enough to breathe more than a flicker of fire or the damage would have been much worse.
Kurogane had only gritted his teeth and made no sound, and had not passed out until he made sure the dragon and its’ kits were slain.
* * *
“Hey.”
Fai’s head snapped up at the low, gravelly voice. “Hm? Oh, you are awake.”
“I feel too good.” Kurogane muttered, without moving or opening his eyes.
“Is that a complaint?” Fai asked, aiming for lightness.
“I know about injuries. And I know about healing.” He paused, took a slow breath; spoke on the exhale, “You used magic, didn’t you.”
Fai was quiet for a moment. “Only a little.”
Kurogane opened his eyes and looked up at the magician sitting beside him. “Why?”
Blue eyes looked into red steadily. “Because you were in pain. And I did not like it.”
Kurogane’s eyes drifted closed again. His bandaged hand touched Fai’s for a second, then fell back to the bed. “Thank you.”
“Do not think you can make a habit of this.” Fai informed him sternly. “The next time you-” His throat closed up and he could not finish.
“I don’t intend there to be a next time.”
Very quietly, “Make sure of that. Please?”
Fai’s hand crept closer to Kurogane’s, fingertips laid so lightly against the back of the bandaged hand that Fai was not sure if Kurogane could feel the touch.
Kurogane smiled a little as he fell asleep again.
* * *
The medical ward was quiet, the air still.
Without opening his eyes, Kurogane knew that Tomoyo was sitting beside him.
“Tomoyo-hime.”
Tomoyo sighed, reaching to take one of his large hands in her delicate ones. “It is only the two of us here. You need not be polite, Kurogane.”
“Alright.”
“You are going to be okay,” Tomoyo promised, setting a cool hand against his forehead.
Kurogane’s eyelids fluttered, but his eyes did not open. “Thank you.”
“It is not thanks to me.” she said quietly. “He did not leave your side until he was sure you would be alright.”
“Where is he?”
“I told him I would stay with you and I made him go get some rest.”
“Thank you.”
“Shut up, Kurogane.” she said, voice soft and full of affection.
* * *
Kurogane had been transferred from the medical ward to his own bed, and was now well enough to sit up for short lengths of time. He raised the bowl of salve Fai was applying to his burns and sniffed it.
“This is magic.”
Fai tilted his head at Kurogane curiously. “How do you know?”
“I can smell it.” he stated, then scratched his nose as if it itched.
“I did not think those without magic could-smell-it.”
“I grew up with magic. My mother was a miko. My princess is a miko. I don’t understand it very often, but I know what magic smells like.”
Fai thought that perhaps Kurogane had more magic in him than he thought he did.
Fai finished wrapping Kurogane’s arm in white gauze. He picked up the bowl, holding it in front of his face and staring at it.
“The ingredients, when mixed together correctly, are magical. But it takes no magic to create it.” He ran a soft hand over Kurogane’s warm forehead. “You are fortunate. I only found the substitute for astzoran a few days ago. Without it, I could not make this Kenet.”
“Kenet?”
“It is a salve that protects against fire. And it heals burns.”
“Very useful. Thank you.”
Fai rolled his eyes, irritated. “Stop thanking me. Just rest, and get well.”
“Yes, sensei.”
Fai laughed a little.
* * *
There was a bit of envy from the rest of the Guards, over the stranger that Kurogane had asked to join the Guard. It was not a malicious envy; the Guards had seen that the stranger was skilled and they were free to challenge him if they wanted to test their strength against him. Most of them did.
The Guards knew that Kurogane had good judgment. They knew that he would never disgrace them by letting someone unworthy or untrustworthy into their ranks.
Still, there was a bit of envy.
The stranger had been accepted by Kurogane in a way that it had taken most of them years to accomplish. And Kurogane did seem to spend much more time practicing with the stranger than he did with any of them.
Kurogane had never asked anyone else to join the Guard before; the rest of the Guards had sought the position themselves.
When Fai overheard the nickname, he decided that he was quite okay with being called, “Kurogane’s favourite.”
* * *
Fai held up a bowl of something that was the most unappetizing shade of beige Kurogane had ever seen.
“Please?”
“No.” Kurogane answered firmly. “I’m not letting you experiment on me.”
“Kuro-sama.” Fai pretended to be hurt. “Do you not trust me?”
“I don’t trust your cooking. I tried that pie you made, it was disgusting.” Kurogane reminded him.
“That was ...” Fai waved a hand dismissively. “A miscalculation of ingredients.” He pointed, “This is not.”
Kurogane raised an eyebrow as he looked at the suspicious brownish glop. “How do you know it won’t turn me into a frog?”
“It is banana soup.”
“... banana soup?”
“With cherries!”
“No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
“What about if I try it first,” Fai spooned some into his mouth, “then you try it?”
“There should be a twenty-four hour waiting period to see if you die mysteriously.”
“Oh, I understand.” Fai nodded sagely. “You are scared.”
Kurogane glared. “I am not scared.”
“You are scared of banana soup.”
Fai held up the bowl between them, a teasing smile on his lips.
Kurogane knew exactly what Fai was doing. He knew, and he was not going to fall for it-
Kurogane grabbed the spoon and shoved it into his mouth. The texture was more like jelly than soup. And the taste was ...
“Interesting.”
“Kuro-myu likes it?” Fai asked, voice eager.
“Interesting.” He made a face as he swallowed. “And disgusting.”
* * *
It was just after sunset in the small, secluded clearing. Across the lake, the horizon was still glowing and overhead the stars were already winking in the sapphire sky.
Kurogane sat down next to Fai and glanced over at the blond man.
“What are you listening to?”
Fai smiled, face upturned toward the sky. “The stars are singing tonight.”
Kurogane looked upward for a moment, listening. “I can’t hear them. What does it sound like?”
“It is beautiful. It is ... not sound, completely. It is sound that you feel.”
“Sound that you feel.” he repeated, hoping for a better explanation.
“It is like ... Here.” Fai put one hand over Kurogane’s heart. “It is-deep inside. Like a heartbeat.” His hand began to thump, slow and gentle, against Kurogane’s chest; the rhythm of a heartbeat. “It is ... a deep hum ... of music. It sings.” He smiled a little shyly, let his hand drop, and looked back up toward the stars. “Tonight they sing of hope.”
Slowly, very slowly, Kurogane raised his hand and pressed his palm against Fai’s chest. He could feel the strong and steady beat of the magician’s heart under his palm. He knew what it would sound like if he could hear it, but he could feel it.
Kurogane thought he understood what Fai meant; it was a connection.
“Sound that you feel.”
* * *
Fai woke up, stomach pressed flat against the warm earth. He smelled dirt and green. There was something warm at his side. He moved fingers experimentally; fingers touched skin. Touched fingers. A hand.
Face still down in the grass, Fai grinned.
Kurogane was snoring. Very, very low snores, like a kitten. Fai had never heard him snore before.
Fai turned his head and pressed his nose and forehead against Kurogane’s shoulder, resting there for a minute. Then he propped himself up on one elbow and watched Kurogane sleeping.
After a moment, “Good morning,” said Fai.
“Stop staring at me.” Kurogane returned without opening his eyes.
“How do you know I am staring at you?”
“How did you know I was awake?”
“You stopped snoring.”
“Ninjas don’t snore.”
Fai poked him. “This ninja does! Tiny little kitten snores. So cute!”
“I do not snore.” Kurogane grumbled, “And if I did, it would not be tiny little kitten snores.”
“Well, you were not awake. So you cannot know if I am wrong.” Fai teased.
Kurogane finally opened his eyes and looked up at Fai. “Good morning.” He pushed himself up onto his elbows, rubbing a hand over his face. “Were we out here all night?”
“No,” Fai answered, toes in the grass.
“No?”
“You fell asleep, I picked you up and carried you to your bed, then I slept in my bed. Then I woke up and carried you back out here, and stared at you till you woke up.”
“Elaborate.” Kurogane commented. He fell back onto the grass again. “Amazing I didn’t wake up for all that.”
“Must have been the kitten snores.” Fai answered seriously.
“I do not snore.”
Fai laughed. “Do too.”
“Do not.”
* * *
“Do too!” Fai sang.
“Do not.” Kurogane growled.
Tomoyo and Souma looked up in surprise as the two came into the room, still bickering.
The two men looked like they had slept in the clothes they were wearing, Kurogane’s shirt was smudged with dirt, and there was grass in Fai’s hair.
“Good morning! Do too,” he added, to Kurogane.
“Good morning,” Tomoyo said, as the less surprised of the two women.
“Good morning. Do not.”
“What do you do?” Souma asked, perplexed.
Kurogane glared at Fai, and Fai smirked evilly back at him.
“Don’t you dare.”
Fai cackled. “I will not tell-if you admit you do.”
Kurogane sighed. With great reluctance, he said, “I suppose ... it’s possible ... that maybe ... I do.”
“Ha ha! You do!”
Souma was still confused, Kurogane was annoyed, and Tomoyo and Fai were happy.
* * * * *
end note: a cookie to anyone who knows where I stole borrowed Kenet from.
also note: it is official, this fic has eaten my brain. and that's not even counting the unofficial 13th chapter, the prequel, or all the other lil random bits I've written/am going to write.
another note and many, many thanks: I am fully aware that I suck at returning comments. I'm actually very shy. but I am still awed over the response to the last chapter, I really expected more things to be thrown at me. you guys are truly the coolest, and I really really really do appreciate every comment. ♥