god i realize each day how much i hate this blog thing. how long have i been on here now? jodi, i blame you!

i don't know whether it is nerves, a feeling a grasping to every last straw i can get holdof, or jsut my old way, but i downed like 6 chocolate bars in an hour today while reading a book. i didn't even realize i had done it until i put the book down and looked at the rappers and felt a stinging need for water. bah! i haven't eaten that stuff in ( Read more... )

hmm, back to canada again in one week. then school starts a week after that. if they will allow me in their school that is. with my record, i wouldn't doub it if they flung monkey shit at me and told me to fuck off. but i'm crossing my fingers... am i going to be able to handles this?? i thought i could, but will i really be able to?

ok, france sucked the big white ass that is north america. constant raina dn dog shit, what a holiday.

camping in france. we leave tomorrow.

so much for holland. this is crap. really.

holland on wednesday! then home again on the 27th! omg. life starts with a clean slate on the 27th. no more rivalries. i get to try it on my own for once. difficult. but worth it in the end. go windmills!

i have decided with all the confidence i can muster that i am goign home at the end of this month. form a clear view staying here for another year may seem like the opportunity of a lifetime, but my gut feeling is that something will go terribly wrong in all of this. it just came too easily to be any good. my intuition had never failed me. i ( Read more... )

it's hard to belive that after all this my plane leaves in one month headed for the place i call home. i wish i had a home. i probably could if i wanted to. stubborn ass i am. it's up to me to decide in less than a month if i stay here for another year, or return home to nothing for the rest of my life. at least if i choose home i get a dog. ( Read more... )

i bought some new shoes. thats about as exciting as my day gets. but it is exciting!! they're white and have big white ribbons for laces! i feel liek a princess dammit! oh man, the movie "robin hood: prince of thieves" is my new obsession. but tis hard to believe that i am but one year older than that movie! how time flies when life sucks