Have been hiding from life lately.  Not really talking to anyone or reaching out.  I think that it has been helpful but very lonely.  Have started a weight loss group at work.  We kind of use the point system and support each other with ideas for food and loosing weight.  We have been doing this for about 2 weeks and it is fun.  I am at least ( Read more... )

Leaving work early today to go see my dad.  He lives in New Hampshire so I am taking all the kids (mine and my brothers) up this afternoon so that they can see Grandpa.  Will probably stay the weekend but am sad it is going to rain.  I was really looking forward to walking in the woods and sleeping under the stars (dad lives in the woods).  But we ( Read more... )

My dad was released from the hospital yesterday and is home now with my brother.  He seems to be doing well, the hospital decided to try medications first and then evaluate him in a week or so.  I really hope that he quits smoking!  He has clogged arteries in more than his heart which is why they want to try medication first ( Read more... )

Just got back from New Hampshire.   My dad had a heartattack on Friday and my brother and I went up to see him Saturday morning. Because he had a mild heartattack on the weekend, they are keeping him stable until Tuesday when then will decide what kind of surgery to do on him.  It was so hard to see him be so frail and weak.  This is the guy that I ( Read more... )

I find that I really need to either accept who I am or become someone else.  I want to be this strong confident person who does not need anyones approval and yet I continue to need acceptance from others ( Read more... )

Took yesterday off to meet with 3 personnel agencies to try to find a new job.  I love the people here but the pay is just not enough for us to survive.  It went well for the most part.  One of the agencies had 3 positions they thought I qualified for and reformated my resume so that it would flow better. I realized that I sold myself short when I ( Read more... )

Left for Indiana with S and C on Thursday.  Spent 12 hours on 3 different planes and an hour and a half drive to the hotel.  Friday morning we went to the college for new student orientation.  I was a good mom and did not cry, but did have a hard time when we moved his stuff into his dorm room.  Spent Friday at orientations and met with S advisor ( Read more... )

As I sit in work I realize that in 2 days my son S will be in Indiana for the begining of the next phase of his life.  I am excited to take him there and drop him off.  We have done the clothes shopping, still need to pack, I have booked the hotel, my dad gave us money for the rental car and food, my mom paid the remaining portion of S tuition.  ( Read more... )

I am currently feeling trapped and confused.  I know that there are conversations that I need to have with people in my life but not sure how to do it.  I am financially stuck where I am not sure how to get out.  I really need a new job but having a hard time being motivated to post resumes.  One of the positions I applied for I was in such a rush ( Read more... )

Feeling better about myself - thanks to all my friends!  Hoping to see N tomorrow, he is back from Vermont.  I also need to take S to get a Mass ID for school, get him some clothes, etc.  Can't believe that in a little over a week my baby is going away.  I talk about it alot but it is such a sad/happy moment in a parents life.  I have raised him, ( Read more... )