Spoil me

Jul 18, 2007 23:02

Those of you who have read Deathly Hallows, tell me things!

Specifically... )

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Comments 17

sleestak July 19 2007, 04:19:54 UTC
Okay, SPOILERS FOR REAL...

...

...

That spoiler page was, uh, creative. (Actually the skeletal chapter summaries are accurate, at least.)

The core group makes it through relatively unscathed, but the Order of the Phoenix is pretty much boned. Mooney, Tonks, Lupin, and 50% of the Weasley twins get killed. In other words, all my favorite characters.

Snape is appointed headmaster after the Ministry is taken over by Death Eaters. He's killed by Voldemort, but manages to slip some memories to HP before dying. Harry uses the Pensieve to see that Snape was a good guy all along. (awwwwww)

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la_sonnambula July 19 2007, 04:24:59 UTC
Mooney, Tonks, Lupin, and 50% of the Weasley twins

Isn't Moony and Lupin the same person?

Snape was a good guy all along.

So Snape wasn't, "in on things for personal gain"?

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sleestak July 19 2007, 04:35:22 UTC
D'oh, you are correct. I meant Moody, as in Mad-Eye. He dead.

Snape, it turns out, did it all for the nookie. He'd been in love with Lily since he was 9 years old, and turned against Voldy in an attempt to protect her.

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la_sonnambula July 19 2007, 04:43:44 UTC
Snape, it turns out, did it all for the nookie.

Bwah! I mean, single tear.

Thanks so much Slee, you are a doll.

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zooby July 19 2007, 04:55:57 UTC
Yeah, that page was an early spoiler page, I guess. I noted the differences between the epilogue pages and what the person was saying. Too bad. I thought it would be great if Ron died, but the trio makes it out free and clear. All is, as they say, well.

Sort of. I mean, Fred kicks it in the final battle when a death eater blasts down a wall. And much earlier, Snape curses George with Sectumsempra (I think that's how it's spelled) and he loses an ear.

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la_sonnambula July 19 2007, 05:09:08 UTC
I thought it would be great if Ron died

How come?

Wow, what a dark end for the comic relief in the book. Oh well, Weasleycest fans will have a lot to write about.

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zooby July 19 2007, 05:34:56 UTC
I don't know. I guess it's just the epilogue is fucking KILLING me with its cheery little "Oh, the world is saved! And everybody you thought would end up together ends up together!" mentality. It's like a 14-year-old wrote it.

Rowling went on and on about prices that must be paid and pure evil and what all and I guess I expected some dire consequences for ONE of the three, but they're all fine and dandy and popping out kids with alarming frequency.

God, you ain't kidding about the twincest volcano that will erupt from that death. I thought they both might be killed, what with Molly's twin brothers Fabian and Gideon meeting their maker in the first wizarding war, but it's way more interesting to have one live and one die.

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la_sonnambula July 19 2007, 05:52:29 UTC
Dude, when I read the epilogue I thought it was a fake. I've read better written fanfiction with more complexities. I'm glad though, if any of the trio died, the wailing and rending of clothes will be deafening and unending. I mean, we get that now with just Snape.

I love how heterosexual and fructuous the ending is.

Poor George, missing an ear and a twin.

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la_sonnambula July 20 2007, 02:17:59 UTC
Why are you upset?

Because I have a lump of coal where my heart should be, I'm immensely amused at the heterosexualization of Severus Snape.

I owe you emails!

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la_sonnambula July 20 2007, 03:08:47 UTC
Lupin has also been heterosexualized!

Ooh, news! Tell me! While I go and reply to your emails.

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