I am about to break. No harm, just so much anxiety, sadness, confusion, stress, worry and hopelessness building up. If someone was to hug me right now I would more than likely end up crying. Tomorrow may be different but today this is how I feel and all of what I listed is indeed building. I really could use a hug right now though, to be held for ( Read more... )

What am I doing wrong?

Watching the fires in California is so heartbreaking. Seeing things/places I went to while either visiting or while living there just gone. The areas will never be the same. 

I am so touch starved. I want to be held for awhile, I'd settle for a hug. 

Getting over Covid for the 3rd time in 4 years. The stuffy nose and the constant itch/tickle in my throat that causes me to cough to the point where I borderline gag/dry heave is leaving me rather annoyed. Mom gave it to me like the first time, we aren't sure about the 2nd time. SO thankful it is nothing like the first time, that was freaky. ( Read more... )

I have mixed feelings about holidays. Both Grandma and Grandpa Antrim died around Thanksgiving, the years 2001 and 2010 respectively. Grandpa Coffey died near Christmas in 2020. I still have the can of whipped cream in the garage fridge that dad bought for Grandma for her Thanksgiving pies. Well that whole side of the family is still gone, why do I ( Read more... )

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!   So Benji is back in the shop. I was out running errands and I had just pulled out of the library parking lot when the driver front side made a noise and felt like something was dragging on the tire. I turn the hazards on get out call mom and then call AAA. Thankfully Otis wasn't far and it didn't take him long to ( Read more... )

I miss adventures. Really sucks not having an adventure partner anymore and a car you don't really trust to take you solo. I am just venting, not looking for pity or sympathy. I need to get out to the river during the day, it has been too long. It has always made me feel a little better. Sure miss camping at Coon Bluff, year 2 of the 5 year ban. It ( Read more... )

I have stopped reaching out to others for the most part. The no response lets me know that nobody cares. What have I done, am I that horrible to be around? I feel so invisible anymore. I am not ok.

The last 8 years have been fairly shitty, what's one more thing. Mental health...we are at a 3.