Comments | lacomtesse: Of late, life has been hard. Very, very hard.

lacomtesse

Of late, life has been hard. Very, very hard.

Jul 23, 2007 16:02

Wow. Only ONE blog entry for the entire month of June...and that was more than four weeks ago. How I have missed LiveJournal and everyone on it! Being so far away from this community for the past month has been a big, black hole in my life. One I hope to fill. Soon ( Read more... )

life, the times they are a-changin'

Comments 12

padawansguide July 24 2007, 00:08:15 UTC

I'm so sorry! It sucks to be put in the middle like that. :-(

I did LOL about the lead crystal/Clue reference!

lacomtesse August 1 2007, 18:07:59 UTC

It's getting better. There's no easy way to introduce a stranger into the family, unfortunately.

Ha ha ha...yesssss! Finally someone who knows what I'm talking about! I finally uploaded my pics a few days ago, so proof is forthcoming. :)

ithilwyn July 24 2007, 01:09:06 UTC

My thoughts are with you. Bringing a new face into your family can be tough, I know from experience. Both my husband and I have had a tough time fitting into the others family, and a really difficult time understanding the other family's motives and communications styles. There has been much misunderstanding in the process. I don't have an advice except to be patient and steadfast--trust that things will work out. My thoughts are with you.

Oh, and you're in CA now? Where abouts? Will we be seeing you at GBACG events, or are you down in CGW territory?

lacomtesse August 1 2007, 18:13:29 UTC

It's been especially hard because his family is so easy going and his mother is incredibly easy to get along with and I hope we become better friends as the years go by. I love my mother very much, but she's not for everyone...so I feel guilty I can't reciprocate with the same family dynamic. My nuclear family have wonderful qualities, but it's hard to see the forest for the trees when things aren't going well.

We're in San Carlos. I'm originally from a little further south on the Peninsula, but I've always been a GBACGer. :) I hope to make it to more GBCAG events, but between school and everything else, my costuming has slowed dramatically and my costume closet isn't the size I want it to be. I'm thinking focusing on 20th century events will be more feasible...but less fun. :)

sarahlizzi July 24 2007, 01:22:26 UTC

*hugs* it's never easy when the people you love the most don't get along as well as you would like.

but, hey -- you love the boy! your family will learn to accept that, even if it takes some time. and your romance has certainly been a whirlwind!

just keep your head on straight and remember that you and he are in on this together (and that your collective memories are probably the most reliable).

good luck with all the preparing, and with your family. if you love him so much, they will learn to love him, too.

lacomtesse August 1 2007, 18:17:10 UTC

Thanks. I know you're right. And things are sort of at an uneasy truce right now. It's never going to be The Waltons, but I think my family has finally realized that he's not going anywhere and they better accept that and move on. And he's learning to accept any Axis II issues and interpret behavior accordingly.

scottishlass July 24 2007, 06:37:22 UTC

I keep my fingers crossed for you. Trust your heart and your and your boy's memory. Parents and family tend to feel defensive towards new family members they had no say in choosing. It happened to me too. Now after almost 7 years my parents seem to have approved of the choice of my husband. Hang in there. If they love you as they claim to love you, they will accept your choice of a husband in time. It will be hard, and sometimes you just feel so alone (as hubbies tend to shrug off things like that) but eventually they will come around, if they don't ... well that is their loss not yours, and you are definitely not to blame.

*hugs*

lacomtesse August 1 2007, 18:19:33 UTC

Thank you. It seems to be universal that blending families is never easy. My nuclear family was always really close, and now that things have changed, everyone is sort of adrift. I know after we're married and begin to build a life and a family together, they'll see he's a good guy and a good fit for me. Being patient has been the hardest part.

sewphisticate July 24 2007, 15:31:11 UTC

Perhaps some of your family's angst centers around the fact that you have thrown your lot in with someone else, other than them, and they are not all that keen on sharing you... This family stuff is a real pain, but don't worry, it will all shake out in the end. Remember, you have done nothing wrong, so you have nothing to apologize for. Your family can all just get a grip.

And in case you doubt my word, my own MIL didn't even get my first name right until the EH and I had been married for ONE YEAR. (We're fine now, but whooo-boy, some tough sailing.)

lacomtesse August 1 2007, 18:28:30 UTC

Undoubtedly the fact that the game has changed has been really hard on all of them, but especially my mother. I love her dearly, but sometimes it's hard to tell who's the parent and who's the child with us. I'm trying to be more philosophical about the whole thing, but she's said some hurtful things over the past month or so, so it's hard to be detached sometimes. I know the emotional intensity will fade, it's just a total drag in the meantime ( ... )