Brigits Flame, Week 1: "Clothes and all"

[lacruciverbiste]

“Wake me when we reach the coast,” she says, popping the passenger seat back and curling up on it. She gives me a sleepy smile and it’s all I can do not to reach over and kiss her

Comments

[writingmoments]

The imagery is amazing. I especially like this:

Her white skirt bobs and sways like a giant jellyfish

and:

the weak amber glow of dusk.

and:

the trees look like giant silhouettes pasted to the indigo sky.

This is so cute:

tiny dreaming noises escape her nose every now and then.

This is very well-written. The tension and scenery are captured well and the length is good, not too drawn out and yet developing naturally.

[writingmoments]

The imagery is lovely.

I especially like the bit about the skirt being a jellyfish and the trees like pasted silhouettes.

The tension is well-done. The story is a good length, developing naturally, not too short yet not drawn out.

I felt like I was there.

Great job!

[lacruciverbiste]

thank you so much :)

[lacruciverbiste]

wow! thank you so much! :)

[riddle272]

=) Nice imagery... And I really like the way your story develops.

[lacruciverbiste]

thanks so much for reading! is yours up?

[riddle272]

Yes, so far it's the last one up... Here it is

[lacruciverbiste]

thanks! on my way to bed now, but i'll send you my thoughts in the morning :) thanks again for reading.

how romantic

[giazz_40]

I like the imagery and find that this is very romantic. I like the characters too :)

Re: how romantic

[lacruciverbiste]

thanks so much for reading :) i've just added you, too!