I have a new journal, which I've been using for a bit now, and is much more complimentary to my life. I'll likely never use livejournal again. see it at www.fishspeaker.com/blog

I haven't posted here in a while, partly because of life busy-ness, partly because I've been writing bits and pieces elsewhere, but mostly because I don't feel that livejournal is the place for my thoughts. I have a journal planned for my upcoming website . . . We'll see how that works out. I leave in an hour for the airport, to go visit my Cat. I ( Read more... )

What is it that really causes mental illness? Is it all circumstancial? Can it really be genertic? Is it something beyond the control of a person, something only science and medicine can combat? Or is it possible to triumph over depression, and such, with your own will? Someone I know was recently stuck by a sudden bout of manic depression - I didn ( Read more... )

I seem to exist by myself, lately. I've been retreating further and further into my own world, and the world is almost verbally encouraging it. I am in a location physically which discourages me from attempting any outside human contact - my family, as per age-old tradition, doesn't understand or even know me, and there is nobody besides them ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

I'll never make it as a songwriter, the words don't mean enough. Inspiration fails me time again, with day to day emptiness sucking away any source of art that surfaces. I looked at myself again, through someone else's eyes. It's been a while since I've done that, and I really don't like what I saw. I've stopped thinking before I speak- oh, I still ( Read more... )

Met a chap last eve, online, about an online literary community. It would mean a bit of effort on my part, but I think it's worth while. I'd be motivated to write more often- and better. I need to get out more often- think I might go for a drive today. The way of my life, recently, has been composed mainly of confusion, indirection, and clueless ( Read more... )

Why, oh why, are people so fucked up? The answers are right there- everyone else can see them- why can't we just accept their help? Why do we all have to think we can do things on our own? Why does our society perpetuate that idea? Why, when people are down, do they complain so much about how they feel, and refuse to see that they can just decide ( Read more... )

Two songs, running through my head, both appropriate to the time, both (coincidentally) in the same key, using the same beginning chord progression. Lord of Eternity, by Fernando Ortega. Think Latino Paul Simon, doing Christian worship music. It's a moving song- for me, the kind of thing I like to play and sing as I'm lying on my bed in the dark. ( Read more... )

Composed, painstakingly, from bits of broken refuse
Sealed, aligned, ordered precisely, no edge unfinished
Slowly, jumbled shattered bits are formed, like a slowly rising sun
A grand masterpiece, shining with the light of nameless majesty