Comments | ladililn: this is me, lost and confused

ladililn

this is me, lost and confused

Feb 18, 2012 03:52

My LJ paid time ran out the other day, and for the first time in years, I had no idea whether or not I should renew it.

Look, LJ is basically a ghost town these days. It's a mix of things--the DDOS attacks, the lure of DW and tumblr, people just drifting away. (I remember how my internal reaction used to be towards the people who would take ( Read more... )

Comments 12

magog_83 February 18 2012, 12:19:36 UTC

:( It's sad when you realise things are changing sometimes. I find my commitment goes in cycles. At the moment I am on twitter most, but then in a couple of weeks I am quite likely to dive back into LJ (plus I'm writing, which always takes me away from things). A few years ago I wouldn't have dreamed of bothering with twitter or tumblr, LJ was enough on its own. But I suppose you drift away from fandoms naturally and the friends you keep will be the ones you had more than just that fandom in common with.

breila_rose February 18 2012, 18:55:08 UTC

I've been feeling the same way. I spend most of my time on twitter these days because LJ is very dead, and I'm on tumblr but its not the same. :/

ladililn February 27 2012, 09:22:22 UTC

Yeah, I was on twitter for a bit but could never really make much of a connection with it--I'm too wordy! XD I think I've decided that I'm not completely willing to give up on LJ yet, and I don't think the situation is hopeless...but we'll see how it goes. :/

lyricsandhearts February 18 2012, 22:03:40 UTC

Okay, I saw this on Tumblr when I woke up this morning, but then I had to go out of town for a few hours, and I have been thinking about this all day. And there are so many things I want to say about it, so many thoughts I have, but I can't quite find the words to put them in right now? So give me a couple hours, maybe, and I'll try to put something together, some of my thoughts? I just - I thought I'd leave you this pre-comment comment now, because I definitely don't want you to feel like you're being ignored at all. ♥

lyricsandhearts February 18 2012, 23:44:08 UTC

There's something about LJ, I think. There's something about LJ that makes (or made, since there have been all these changes and these attacks and all this shifting around) it so conducive to all of the fangirling and the bouncing around and the being ridiculous and the writing fic, and it's - you're right about places like Tumblr and Twitter not being as good at those things? But I do think maybe it's not quite right to think of this as the End of LJ or the End of Our Little Corner?

I absolutely cannot speak for a lot of your time in fandom, because you were around for so long before me, knew all our mutual friends before me, did so much to form the little corner of LJ that I entered almost two years ago, and I am so grateful for that. I can't speak for your early days of fandom here, even though I think they were in some ways so similar to my early days of fandom here, yet at the same time so different. I think we both came from HP (though you were active there and I wasn't), and we both used not-quite-fake names for a while (you ( ... )

moonspoken February 19 2012, 08:06:56 UTC

Awwww, Ellie ♥

For what it's worth, I'm mostly just sucking at seeking people out when I need them. What I mean by that is I think that I am a lot more available to talk than a lot of people think I am lately because I'm not doing much posting or commenting or starting conversations... but that's mostly because everyone's fandoms are changing, and most of what I have been thinking about lately has been pretty centered on the little human being that's growing inside of me, and all of the life changes that have been going on. All of it has been pretty overwhelming, and I don't really feel comfortable laying all of my feelings and thoughts on other people. Especially because all of it has sort of put me in a different place than most of the "LJ family" so I feel like my life/situation tends to burden people. And for me fandom was always about sharing things that made other people happy, and making myself happy along with that and-- well, that makes it kind of hard now, being in the position I'm in, because I really don't want to burden ( ... )

lyricsandhearts February 18 2012, 23:45:25 UTC

Another example: Katybeth. God, I - Katybeth, I think, has been a constant through every Little Corner there is. In fact, I'd almost say she's been the constant. There's something about her, too, something welcoming and loving and something that makes it so easy to fit in here, wherever Here may be. She started out to me as some Hero Figure who wrote some of the best fic I've ever read and turned into one of the single most important people in my life, and I honestly don't know how. I talked to her, had a real conversation with her for the first time in ages the other day, and it just felt so nice to have her back as a solid figure in my life - so I definitely understand what you mean about missing people, about wishing you could be closer but never really being far enough away to warrant that feeling in the first place.

I started out with BTR, remember, and for so long that was Our Little Corner, and then, it... It wasn't. And I still love BTR, and I still love the boys, but tweendom in general has sort of filled that void in me, as ( ... )

moonspoken February 19 2012, 08:16:23 UTC

I don't really know what to say to all of this, except for that I definitely feel you. I can't even believe how quickly lj turned into a total ghost town, and it makes me miss always having people to talk to sometimes. I do wish I could mash everyone back together, but I think it's sort of gone and dissipated. I have similar experiences with fandom, it was a big deal and then nothing and then a big deal again and now nothing again, and I don't know if I'll carve out a niche in the future. I sort of don't want to carve out a new niche, because I like my old niche! But things have changed a lot. And as I'm typing this, I look down at my stomach and I can actually see my daughter's little foot poking out of me like some creepy science fiction movie, and I'm sort of realizing that I don't really fit into that niche anymore? It's hard ( ... )

moonspoken February 19 2012, 08:18:02 UTC

Also, I recently chose to not renew my paid account, and it was a weird feeling.

spectgem February 19 2012, 18:45:46 UTC

MARIA. I've been sitting here trying to figure out what I can say, but just...I feel much of the same way. And the day I have to decide whether or not to renew my account is coming pretty quickly, and I dread it so damn much. I miss how things used to be so badly ( ... )