Tell me where we go from here 34/?
Chapter 34
Sam woke up around ten the next morning and he still felt tired. His body was stiff and sore from the days of hiking, Cas had healed his wounds but that had done nothing to his exhaustion in general.
There was no sign that his brother was already up, no banging at his door, no messages on his phone, so it was a safe bet that Sam had some time before Dean wanted to start the day. At least enough time for another hot shower. He had one in the evening but his muscles could use some hot water to loosen up a bit. With a day in the car ahead it was probably a good idea.
When he came out of the bathroom a while later there was still no sign of Dean but they had to leave the rooms until eleven so he reached for his phone to tell Dean that he had about twenty minutes to get his ass out of the bed and out of the room because Sam didn't want to waste money and rent the rooms for another night. It had felt good to sleep in a real bed again but not good enough to stay for longer than necessary.
It was Cas who answered the phone and he promised to get them out of the room in time. With a grin Sam ended the call and started packing. There wasn't much to pack anyway, he'd more or less just taken out his toiletries and some sleepwear, so he was done in less than a minute. The clothes he'd worn during their hack and slay through the brambles were beyond saving so he tossed them in the trash.
One last look around to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything and then he was out of the room.
He packed his things in the trunk of the Impala and by then Cas had joined him with his and Dean's bags.
"Dean's coming?" Sam asked when he found his brother nowhere in sight.
"In a minute." Cas assured him, not going into detail what was holding up Dean so Sam figured he didn't want to know.
"Have you heard from Hannah?" Cas changed the topic.
"No." Sam closed the trunk and unlocked the door so that they didn't have to stand around the car. "She's probably too busy to answer me. Especially if she knows that she can't help. And it's too late now anyway." He shrugged. In his experience angels almost never answered when they were needed, he threw a side glance at Cas, so he wasn't worried about the lack of communication. He barely knew Hannah and if he was honest, he didn't like people scooping around in his head.
"She should have at least answered." Cas insisted and Sam bit his tongue to not point out how often Cas hadn't answered when they'd needed him. "I should return to heaven and check on her."
"You think she might be in trouble?" Sam hadn't thought of that. With Metatron gone Heaven should have calmed down. Okay, it was still locked so that was a problem but the angels weren't fighting among each other anymore. Much.
"I don't know." Cas said, worry clearly written on his face. "But I should go back and let her know that I have my grace back. Maybe I can help now."
Sam nodded to that. Robbed of his grace Cas had been pretty useless in the big battles but now that he was back …
There was more than enough work to do, Sam guessed.
"I don't like how they proceed with angels who chose to stay away from the others." Cas said in a low voice, more to himself than to Sam. Cas hadn't told him much about the mission he and Hannah had been on but what he knew, worried Sam. If angels wanted to live their own life, why shouldn't they? As long as they didn't do any harm, it was totally okay with him. But angel mentality was different from human. Cas had learned to see the world from a more human perspective so it probably was a good idea if he went back. Maybe he could once again influence his brothers and sisters. Maybe this time it would work out.
"Am I late?" Dean joined them. He looked rested but the bags under his eyes weren't completely gone. So it wasn't only Sam who could use a few days off to recharge.
"Just in time." Sam checked his watch and then handed Dean his key.
"Be right back." Dean went over to the office to check them out and out of the corner of his eye Sam noticed the way Cas was watching Dean. The layers of shirts made it difficult to see the firm body beneath but Dean's jeans were hugging his butt quite nicely, Sam had to admit and shook his head in amusement. When had he become comfortable with thinking about his brother's butt?
Dean was back a minute later and they left the motel in search for a diner where they could get a late breakfast or an early lunch. Sam didn't care, he was hungry, and everything that was not an energy bar or canned soup was more than welcomed.
They found a diner and Sam's stomach grumbled in anticipation when they entered. The smell of coffee was strong in the air, mixed with the rich aroma of food which made his mouth water.
They sat down and the waitress was there with coffee almost immediately.
"Dude, the worst about camping is the food." Dean let him know and then ordered half the menu. Sam ordered his fair share as well, he'd never guessed that he could be longing for something deep fried at this time of the day, or ever, but after days of minimal food and hard work, his body needed more calories.
"Nothing for you, sir?" The waitress had taken their orders and was now looking at Cas questioningly.
"Just coffee, thank you." Cas answered politely and Sam had the feeling that he only stuck to the coffee to not stand out too much. With Dean sitting right across from him Sam had a good view on his brother's reaction to this and he saw the same emotions flashing over his face he felt himself. Cas was an angel again, which was good, it really was, but with that he'd lost some important things as well. The sandwich came back to mind but Sam forced himself to let that thought go. There was nothing he could do about that and if Cas had to choose between dying and the taste of a sandwich, this was the better option, no question about that. But it still hurt.
When their food arrived the brothers dug in with Cas watching over them. It felt weird at first, that intense gaze on him while he ate, but Cas had more eyes for Dean anyway and after the first few bites Sam had forgotten his surroundings anyway. If they never had to go camping again it would be fine with him.
"This is good." Dean said around a mouth full of half-chewed something and stuffed more in his face before he even thought about swallowing. "I'm going to toss everything canned out of the bunker, I'm telling you. And if you dare to bring home energy bars, I swear, man, be prepared to get stuffed with them where the sun don't shine."
Sam only grinned to that. He didn't want to see one of those anytime in the near future either.
When they left the diner full but happy, Sam dropped in the passenger seat and was just glad that they could drive and didn't have to walk.
"Let's go home." Dean said and started the car.
"Could you drop me off at the nearest portal first?" Cas asked from the back seat.
"Nearest what?"
"There is a portal to Heaven not far off the way back to the bunker." Cas explained. "I'd like to check on Hannah, she hasn't responded to Sam."
"Oh." Dean made and Sam noticed how off his brother sounded at that request. "Okay, no problem."
Dean eased the car on the road and turned the music on and on first glance everything seemed alright but Sam knew his brother. Something was worrying him.
With the detour to the portal they had to spent two more days on the road before they could drop off Cas and probably one more before they reached the bunker. Not far off turned out to be a loose term. Even by Winchester standards.
Dean's mood got worse over time but he was desperate to not show it but Sam could clearly tell that something was eating at him.
"You'll drop in soon, right?" Dean asked when they walked over the playground, heading for the sandbox where a lonely mother was watching over her child playing in the sand. Or better, the kid was pretending to play in the sand.
They really should work on their cover, Sam mused but didn't say anything. His mind was on Dean's question and he held his breath for Cas' answer.
The way Dean had asked his question told Sam that for some reason his brother wasn't sure if Cas would come back. Which was ridiculous. He'd seen both of them pining for the other one and now when they'd finally admitted what they wanted and were happily together, Dean was worried Cas wouldn't come back? Sam didn't get it.
Except for that he did. He knew Dean, he knew that Dean always expected people to leave him. And if they didn't leave him by choice that life would find a way to take them by force. So yeah, he got why Dean was so insecure about this.
"I'll be back soon." Cas promised in his earnest way but didn't set a time frame. Sam knew that he didn't know what to expect in Heaven so Cas couldn't tell when he would be back but silently Sam hoped that soon would be soon.
They said their goodbyes and then they left the playground before somebody could get worried about two grown men on a playground without a child.
"You think everything is alright up there?" Dean asked when they were back in the Impala.
"Dunno." Sam had to admit. There was nothing more to say and Sam was grateful when Dean cranked up the music and after a while even started to sing along.
They didn't want to push it and drive through, there was no need to hurry, so they spent the night in another motel. They went into the office together and when the clerk ask them what they wanted, they both hesitated for a moment but then Dean booked them a room with two singles. The clerk threw them a glance as if he wanted to say "You can't fool me." but didn't say anything and just handed them the keys.
"Why do they always think that?" Dean muttered under his breath when they left the office.
"Well." Sam said. "On your part it's true."
"Not with you." Dean pointed out. "You're my brother. Why do they always assume I'm screwing my own brother?"
"They don't know that part." They walked side by side and it felt good, just like the old days. Just the two of them, some random motel and the open road waiting for them in the morning. Sam couldn't remember when they had this the last time. When there had been no apocalypse, no demons or angels on their asses, just them and maybe a hunt on the horizon.
They found their room and Dean took the bed closest to the door but Sam had been on his way farther into the room anyway, some things just never changed. He wondered if Dean slept on the side facing the door when he shared a bed with Cas as well.
They enjoyed the evening with take out Chinese and some old monster movies on TV. They didn't talk much and for some reason they didn't lost a word about Cas. Sam only noticed that fact when he was about to drift off to sleep and he was too tired to think about it. Besides, it had been their evening and it had been fun.
Chapter 35
Masterpost