The Story That Has No Name Yet (Part/Chapter/Installment/Episode 2)
Title: The Story That Has No Name Yet (Part/Chapter/Installment/Episode 2)
Pairings: girl!KanginxLeeteuk, MysteryxZhouMixgirl!rock, HeechulxHenry, HenryxMaple syrup, girl!SiwonxKyuhyun, mystery!YesungxRyeowook, EunhyukxSungmin, DonghaexHangeng, KibumxKibumxKibum, Minho x Nichkhun
Rating: R (but mostly because of the mentionings of things)
Warnings: mpreg, incest (tripletcest), mindless fuckery, genderswich, statutory rape, prostitution, crossdressing, this story will come in random installments and maybe have a plot
Genre: AU, crack, werewolf, vampire, highschool, satan\angel, crime, mafia, so much crack, Harry Potter crossover
Summary: Every single genre of fanfiction ever written thrown into one story…in which Kangin is a woman and Leeteuk is gay, Henry loves maple syrup a little too much to be normal, Kibum is a vampire, Minho is a horrible guardian angel, Kyuhyun fights for animal rights, Siwon is a werewolf, and Sungmin goes to Hogwarts. Oh, and Ryeowook is a fish. And somehow a plot was born.
Part/Chapter/Installment/Episode 1 < ---- > Part/Chapter/Installment/Episode 3
---
The car door opened and Henry slipped out, straightening his collar and putting on a pair of sunglasses as he went. Only Henry could be bamf enough to wear sunglasses at night. Everyone else deserved to be beaten into the ground for being a douchewaffle.
Speaking of waffles…
Henry cleared his throat.
Amber sighed and pulled a bottle out of her handbag from where it had sat next to a grenade and a bottle of mace. “Here you are sir.”
Henry grabbed the bottle and unscrewed the cap, taking a large swig. He gulped a few mouthfuls and let out a satisfied sigh before he handed the bottle back. Maple syrup was amazing…he cleared his throat when he noticed that Amber and the other miscellaneous, unnamed henchmen were staring at him.
“Let’s go and find our traitor, shall we?”
Amber nodded, leading him toward one of the last warehouses on the docks. As they neared, the sound of music became louder.
“What’s going on?” Henry grumbled. All he wanted to do was finish this up, pop a few caps, and head back to his condo and eat some Canadian nachos.
“One of the other warehouses is being rented out for some kind of party.” Amber announced, “With the noise, no one will hear the gunshots, sir.”
Henry gave a curt nod before heading forward, hands stuffed into his pockets as they walked passed the party. The cement seemed to thrum with the force of the bass. A few people stumbled out drunkenly and the bouncer nodded at them as they passed.
Henry wasn’t paying any of them much attention at all, until he heard shouting.
“Let go of me, freak.”
“Come on now, don’t be so-”
“Fuck off,”
Henry usually wouldn’t have cared enough to turn around, but for some reason he felt compelled to do so. He saw two people, one skinny and thin and most likely female, and a large and burly man following behind her.
The burly man grabbed the woman’s wrist and pulled her back. Henry could almost hear the bone snapping. He was there in a second, grabbing the man and prying him off.
“What the fuck-what are you doing, huh? Shit man, this ain’t any of your business!”
The man swung at Henry drunkenly and Henry ducked. As he did so, Amber moved in behind him and slammed a fist into the man’s face and then pinned his hands behind his back when he was too disoriented to fight back.
Henry cleared his throat and brushed a bit of imaginary dust off of his jacket before turning to the woman, “Are you alright-” He stopped, because the woman had already turned and was walking off.
Henry wasn’t too pleased with not being thanked for a job well done. He grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. He was momentarily stunned at the sight in front of him.
She was absolutely beautiful. Hair pulled back in a small ponytail, full lips and large eyes. Eyes that were boring a hole into his face with the force of their glare. “Are you going to let go of me or am I going to have to break my other wrist?”
Henry blinked, looking at the awkward way she was holding her hand. He immediately let go of her and reached out, “It’s broken?”
“Don’t touch it!” The woman snapped out, continuing to glare. “Can you just let me go now?”
“I’ll take you to the hospital.” Henry found himself steering her toward his car, ordering Amber to ‘take care of business’ without him.
“What? I don’t need a hospital.”
“Your wrist is broken.”
“I know a doctor-”
Henry opened his mouth to retort when his gaze suddenly fixated on the adam’s apple on the beautiful girl’s throat.
“You’re a boy.”
“Congratulations on stating the obvious. Your powers of observation are astounding.” The beautiful man replied dryly. “Now can you let go?”
Henry’s grip tightened. “You’re a boy.”
“Yes. We’ve established that, dumbass, now let go.” The man snapped, ignoring the warning growls from Henry’s henchmen.
“I’m taking you to the hospital.” Henry murmured, and he wasn’t even sure why he was still holding onto the man.
“What?”
“Let’s go.” And Henry pulled the man toward his car.
---
Key closed his workbook with a triumphant grin. “Finished!” He looked around, waiting for that charming, soft smile and someone to tell him ‘good job, Key’.
But Bummie wasn’t there.
Key stood and headed for the kitchen. His brother had been acting strange lately, ever since their last few days of summer vacation. He was beginning to get worried, because god knows he needed someone sane to talk to.
He loved Kibum, but he had gone overboard with his sickness and it had become near impossible for him to have a full conversation with him without him yelling about his life as a living corpse. It scared Key sometimes, to know that the doctors couldn’t find a cure for him and that his brother was slowly slipping into madness.
Bummie was the only one that could make it better.
“Key?”
Key turned to see Kibum standing in the doorway in his pajamas. “Where’s Bummie hyung?”
“He’ll be home soon.” Key assured, “Want something to eat before bed?”
Kibum nodded, still looking unsure. “Even though it won’t matter, you know. When you’re dead-”
“-you don’t have to eat, I know.” Key finished for him, getting irritated. He started searching through the fridge. “I’ll make you something tasty anyway.”
Kibum nodded and sat down at the kitchen table, fiddling with a half-empty glass of water. “…hyung has been acting weird.”
“Yeah. He’s probably tired from so much work.” Key didn’t mean to be snippy, but ever since Kibum had been diagnosed with his ‘condition’ Key and their hyung had been forced to take care of him and with all the medical bills piling up…what were three orphans supposed to do?
It was hard enough just convincing Kibum that he needed to eat like a normal person so that he wouldn’t starve himself to death. It was so damned frustrating! Key blinked back a few tears, before grabbing a knife and cutting up some vegetables, hoping that Kibum didn’t see.
The front door opened and both turned to see the eldest Kibum walk inside, dropping his bookbag at the door.
“Hyung!" Kibum gave a tired smile and a nod, “Hey.”
Kibum had already grabbed his older brother in a hug and Key was left standing awkwardly at the fridge, hands full of tupperware. “…welcome home.”
Bummie smiled back at him.
Key went back to fishing through the leftovers to add to his freshly cut vegetables as Kibum and Bummie sat at the kitchen table, Kibum holding himself as close to their older brother as possible. Key didn’t know why Kibum wasn’t saying anything…the smell of blood practically permeated from their brother.
---
Sungmin snuck back into the school around eleven at night. As he crept down the hallway he pulled out his robe and slipped it on, tying on his matching uniform shoes. He looked both ways, ducking to keep from being seen through the classroom windows as he walked.
He was getting very tired of all of this. It wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t even really blame his parents. They just wanted him to get the best of both worlds.
Unfortunately, that meant going to both Hogwarts and a normal Korean highschool. It meant that every night he had to return to the high school and grab the portkey he left in his gym locker. And then he’d end up using his timeturner and begin his classes.
His Hogwarts classes.
He let out a depressed sigh and headed down into the gym locker room.
“What are you doing here?”
Sungmin let out a surprised yell, falling backwards and toppling over one of the locker room benches. He winced as his butt hit the hard tiles, eyes closed shut from the sudden pain.
“Hey. Hey are you ok kid?”
Sungmin slowly opened his eyes to see a man standing in front of him leaning on a broom handle as he looked down at Sungmin curiously. His eyes went from the black robe to the yellow and black tie and then up to Sungmin’s face again. “…and what are you wearing?”
“Ah, I…”
“It’s after hours, you know.”
“I’m working late on a project!” Sungmin yelled out as an excuse, eyes darting around for an escape. There was no way he’d be able to grab the portkey now…but he had to! He needed to get to Hogwarts!
The man, whom Sungmin assumed was the school janitor, looked unconvinced. “In the locker room?”
Great, so the monkey janitor wasn’t as stupid as he looked.
What was Sungmin going to do to get him away?
The janitor leaned back, beginning to sweep the floor like he’d been doing before Sungmin’s interruption. “Well don’t let me stop you.”
Sungmin blinked. “…excuse me?”
“I wouldn’t want to get between you and your portkey.” The janitor grinned a gummy grin and began sweeping again, leaving Sungmin to stare at him in utter confusion and shock.
---
Donghae rubbed his hands over his arms, trying to get some feeling back into them. He rocked back on his heels, bouncing a bit on the corner of the street, looking both ways at the few passing cars.
He’d been rather unlucky tonight.
“D-d-d-dammit.” He cursed, crossing his arms over his chest and hunching over to take cover behind the nearby telephone booth. “S-s-s-so coooooold.”
He’d been there for three hours already. He could only stay out for about another hour before he’d have to head home. He needed to get at least two hours of sleep before he went to school.
And his water and energy bills were due by Friday.
“Donghae-ssi?”
Donghae whipped his head around and stared in horror. Professor Hangeng.
Standing at the bus stop next to the telephone booth.
Staring at him.
Professor Hangeng.
There.
Now.
At the same time as Donghae.
Hangeng hadn’t been sure if he’d been seeing things correctly when he’d spotted Donghae. He’d been heading back to his apartment from the authentic Chinese restaurant he’d found a few weeks ago. His arms were laden with takeout for his next few meals at home-the owner had a soft spot for him-when he’d seen the young boy shivering on the street corner.
In a silk shirt and tight leather pants?
Hangeng didn’t know much about the culture of Korea but he was fairly certain that the young generation was not meant to be standing on street corners in thin, practically see-through outfits.
In China, that was usually a sign of prostitution.
But this was Korea, so it was obviously different than in China. So something had to be wrong? Did Donghae need his help? He walked up to his young student and put a hand on his shoulder. “Donghae-ssi, are you alright?”
“I, uh, what?”
“It’s late.” Hangeng tried to remember the Korean he’d learned before coming here but as he watched Donghae staring up at him pitifully as he shivered like a wet puppy he couldn’t do anything but take off his jacket and throw it around Donghae’s shoulders. “Better?”
Donghae looked down at the jacket draped over his shoulders and the scent of Hangeng’s cologne drifted up to him.
He was in heaven.
“Do you need to go somewhere? A ride? Drive? Bus?” He tried to remember the rest of the travel-based words he knew. “Limousine?”
Donghae didn’t need to understand Hangeng to realize that he was trying to bring him home with him.
Home.
Back to Hangeng’s apartment.
For sex.
Donghae’s dreams had just come true.
He simply nodded and grabbed onto Hangeng’s arm and looked up at him expectantly.
---
Zhou Mi picked up the remote and flipped the channel.
“Hey! I was watching that!”
“As much as I love watching a five-hour documentary on the white-handed gibbon-which I do, I really do-I’d prefer to spend the rest of my free night doing something fulfilling and meaningful.”
Kyuhyun peered up at him, “Like Project Runway?”
“Exactly.”
Kyuhyun let out an exasperated sigh, “It’s boring. And full of gay men.”
“So is this apartment but you don’t seem to be complaining any more than usual.” Zhou Mi chirped, continuing to flip through channels.
“I’m not gay!” Kyuhyun defended hotly.
“You’re curled up in my lap.” Zhou Mi shot back. He blinked and added as an afterthought, “And naked.”
“I’m not naked!” Kyuhyun yelled back, “How can you not understand now, after everything, about my condition?”
Zhou Mi sighed softly. Sometimes he wondered how he’d ever met Kyuhyun. Or rather, how Kyuhyun had ended up in an apartment with three gay men. If Kyuhyun was to be believed, he’d been stuffed in a cardboard box and left on their front stoop and had been taken inside when Heechul had gotten home and fallen in love with him immediately.
In truth, Zhou Mi was rather certain it was more along the lines of Kyuhyun running away from home, having nowhere to go, and being brought home with Heechul after someone had tried to solicit sex from Kyuhyun at a club and gotten the two kicked out when Heechul started a bar fight.
But then again, the idea of Heechul in a bar fight-and winning, if Heechul was to be believed-was about as unbelievable as Kyuhyun’s story.
So Zhou Mi didn’t quite remember how Kyuhyun had ended up living with them. He simply accepted the fact that their apartment would have been much too empty and chaos free-and the power bills significantly lower-without their magnae.
That didn’t make it any easier to understand and accept Kyuhyun’s ‘condition’ especially with the fact that Zhou Mi was an accredited doctor. He really hadn’t ever heard of a case quite like Kyuhyun’s. Ever.
“Zhou Mi,” Kyuhyun muttered, “You haven’t said anything back yet.”
“Eh?” Zhou Mi blinked. “Oh, I was just wondering how long you were going to keep that litter box in the bathroom.” Without Heechul there, someone needed to snark back at the magnae. And it was easy to snark when Kyuhyun left himself wide open and Zhou Mi was sleep deprived.
“You’re a cruel, cruel hyung.” Kyuhyun grunted but simply snuggle further into Zhou Mi’s lap.
…
…
…
“…and I’m not gay, just so you know.”
“Of course you’re not.” Zhou Mi nodded, his gaze not leaving the television screen. “You’re just naked and sitting in a gay man’s lap.”
“That’s unfair!” Kyuhyun whined, “And you’re not even scratching my ears! Or petting my hair, or giving me a backrub or anything.”
Zhou Mi stared at him blankly.
“Fine.” Kyuhyun snatched the remote away. “I’ll show you I’m not gay. We’ll watch what no gay man ever wants to see.”
“A Strong Man Competition?”
“Straight porn!” And Kyuhyun quickly changed the channel.
There was a long moment of silence as the two stared at the screen.
And then the screaming began.
“Oh my god! Turn it off! Oh! Ugh, oh god I threw up in my mouth a little.”
“Did you see that? That’s fur! Fur!”
“Change it. Change it please, Kyuhyun. Please!”
“That’s bestiality!” Kyuhyun sat up from Zhou Mi’s lap and pointed a finger condescendingly at the screen. “That is animal cruelty!”
Zhou Mi was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that the person on the screen had fur and was naked and was female.
To hell with animal cruelty, he wasn’t going to be able to sleep at all tonight for fear of nightmares.
---
The ride to the hospital had been made in relative silence. Henry had simply spent the time staring at the beautiful man sitting across from him in the car who was glaring at him. He didn’t understand why the man was so angry. Henry had just saved him from an ugly douche. The man should be kissing his feet, or making him waffles with syrup, or maybe naked and drizzled in syrup so that Henry could-
The ride to the hospital, while silent, had been rather eventful in its own way.
After arriving, Henry had sat in the waiting room-despite the protests from his men for doing something so undignified-but he got hungry halfway through. Amber had his maple syrup and she was all the way back at the docks, so he decided he was going to scout out a vending machine.
“What to get, what to get…” Henry reached into his jacket pocket for his wallet and began scanning the items. “Twix, Skittles, Oreo Cookies, Funions…” His brow furrowed. “Why don’t they have any maple syrup flavored chips?”
“Because that’s disgusting.”
Henry turned around to see the beautiful man he’d saved-the unnamed man who remained unnamed because he refused to give that name up. His wrist was wrapped and in a small cast which wrapped around his hand, leaving his fingers exposed. He wiggled them experimentally and flinched.
“Does it hurt?”
“No. The twitch you just saw is genetic. Passed down in my family for generations. It usually only acts up when I’m around stupid assholes that-”
“Watch your tone.” One of Henry’s men took a step forward threateningly, but Henry stopped him.
“Boss, no one can talk like that to you-” The bodyguard went silent under Henry’s chilling glare.
Heechul watched all of this with a blank expression. Boss? Mafia? Great, that was just great. He was going to get one hell of a lecture from Leeteuk when he got home.
If he got home. He supposed it was very possible that he wasn’t going to make it out alive since he’d just insulted a mob boss. He knew he should be more afraid but he couldn’t help feeling a little apathetic. Then again, he’d lived most of his adult life the same way.
“What’s your name?”
Heechul blinked, taken aback. He’d been rather certain that he was about to get a cap popped in his ass. But that didn’t stop him from snapping back. “None of your business, stalker.”
Yeah, he was so dead.
---
Leeteuk managed to get home just as Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun changed the channel. He’d been on a high from meeting the man of his dreams so he didn’t really notice the terrified expressions that both men sported. And there was nothing new about a naked Kyuhyun on the couch. He would have been more worried if he were clothed.
Leeteuk resisted the urge to skip into the room, pull Zhou Mi off of the couch and begin waltzing with him. He felt giggly and happy and altogether whimsical. He’d hummed the entire way home and hadn’t even minded when the landlady had met him on the stairway and scolded him, once again reminding him that they were not allowed to have pets in their apartment complex and she was going to kick them out if they didn’t get rid of their darned cat.
He simply smiled at Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun’s horrified faces and noticed that something was missing. “Is Heechul sleeping already?”
Zhou Mi managed to get a hold of himself first, smoothing down Kyuhyun’s hair as the younger man hissed at the now blank TV screen. “He isn’t back yet. He left after dinner. We’re not sure where he went.”
“It’s late.” Leeteuk looked to the clock worriedly. His mothering ways began to take over and even if just for a moment, he forgot about the fact that the man of his dreams worked at the McDonalds down the street.
“Have you tried his cell?” Leeteuk had already begun dialing the number. He was met with a cheerful voice telling him that the number he was trying to reach was unavailable at the moment and to please leave a message after the beep.
He began to panic.
“Heechul is too beautiful to be alone on the streets!”
“Don’t you mean week and defenseless?”
“Or bitchy and accident prone?”
“Kyuhyun!”
---
Hangeng opened the door to his apartment and motioned for Donghae to come inside. He scratched the back of his neck, feeling uncomfortable. He was embarrassed at how small and sparse his apartment was. Not to mention it was in a bad side of town.
He didn’t feel awkward at all about Donghae being there otherwise. They were both boys and the age difference was so big that it was obvious nothing inappropriate would happen. And he wasn’t so young that anyone was going to report Hangeng for pedophilia if they saw Donghae coming into his apartment.
Then again, Hangeng was rather certain that most of the residents of his apartment complex were either rapists or junkies, so he doubted they’d say anything anyway.
“Make yourself comfortable.” Hangeng managed to get out in his haphazard Korean and headed for the kitchen, “I’m going to call a taxi for you.” He left the room, his last image of Donghae being the younger boy sitting awkwardly on the edge of the couch.
It didn’t take long for Hangeng to tell the taxi his address. He grabbed a glass of orange juice-kids liked juice, right?-and headed into the living room again. “The taxi should be here soon and I have juice-“
The glass fell to the floor, shattering, as orange juice splattered everywhere on his floor. But Hangeng wasn’t paying attention to the mess in his living room. He was paying more attention to Donghae lounging on his couch.
Shirtless.
He was fumbling with his pants and looked up when Hangeng entered. “Oh! Um, sorry, I was planning on getting all of this off before you came back in, Professor Han.”
Hangeng stared and then did the only thing he could do in this situation.
He fainted.