so lately i've come to a lot of decisions in my life. i've decided not to dwell on what will never be. i've given up on jared. he wont ever feel the way i do and thats going to have to be ok. i love him. but i'm alone in that kind of love. a very good friend gave me the advice to just embrace and accept what i have with him for what it is and ( Read more... )

so life is pretty much okay right now. i'm sleepy. i'm looking for another form of employment. i never get enough rest. i'm trying to do too much and not enough. but it's all good. it all helps to keep my mind from other things which would like to take over my thoughts ( Read more... )

so ( Read more... )

i dont have much to say. but i haven't posted in a while and it makes me feel bad so i'm going to post ( Read more... )

jared's response to my not very well thought out posting of some stupid survey. it made me cry. it made me smile... but it made me cry ( Read more... )

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so my last entry is a little... intense. it was bit of a... moment. i just realised that all this time i have been afraid of myself... as a woman. as an adult. i've been afraid of my life after highschool.. which is funny because i've been living it. i just wanted to hold on to my youth. i wanted to hold on to my fears. i didn't want to ( Read more... )

.... is evil. i think that woman wanted nothing more than to make poor defenseless girls believe in LOVE. and that is evil. lol. love that she writes about doesn't exist in this century... much less this millenium. well maybe it does but it's really really really really hard to find ( Read more... )

has it EVER been a long time. i'm sorry. i dont mean to be so ... GONE all the time. anyway. here's what's been happening with me. haha ( Read more... )

its been a while.. i feel like i haven't updated in ages... as opposed to a week. how strange ( Read more... )