Wasted time has passed. Umteen years have come and gone and still the same script. Same story to be told. Im just as mellow dramatic and lazy as ever before. Im still crying about the same things, same feelings, same people. Some have turned more drastically than others. Some, to my surprise, are still selfish. I should have stayed expressing ( Read more... )

So here i am feeling kinda guilty cause hes oh u dont love me o this is what u want. fine. yesterday he asked me you dont want me to kiss you anymore -because i have been tellin him its not necessary not to do it- and i said yes. we are not meant to be. and he playin fuckin victim was lik if thats wha u think. and i was doubting myself. again. like ( Read more... )

Another day of he said she said. I hate that i still love you. that i still think of you constantly, that i care for you and care about your opinion. Thinking back , you've been tryin to change me since the day we met. im not an easy person, i get that. but either you love me or hate me. its funny cause even though a major part of me wants it to be ( Read more... )

So, he came to me. with a serious demeanor..and says. i think you may be bipolar. aww wonderful. great. after all this years you think you've finally figured me out and the easiest solution is that im sick. that fan-fuckin-tastic. yea i guess that accounts for all the illusions i have in my head of you and all these hoes. you- there is your logical ( Read more... )

I cant help but wonder,like anyone, where i would be had i done things differently. I wish everything was okay. I wish i could just be. but we all have room to grow. He's such a floozy. Liking all these girls pics but he cant like my pic? i mean i know how pitiful it sounds- talkin about silly fb things. but dam, how u gonna block me on fb but ( Read more... )

SO another day in the tragic life of Jacky. I was feelin so down yesterday, on my fuckin birthday. i felt so alone. i know im not but im so tried of this shit. of everything . i wish i could just close the door to keep out the bullshit. i was givin him the benefit of the doubt. i wasnt bein the nicest but i wasnt the meanest either. he was tryin i ( Read more... )

So today is August 19, 2013. I am 26 years old. Im older on the inside, but my age is 26. its funny cause people always say that as the years go by, the celebration of your birthday becomes less and less exciting. You realize that you becoming an elder is closer and closer. I didnt have any cake, but thats okay. My sister sent me an edible ( Read more... )

so here I am, contemplating whether or not to sleep at his side. I need change. and I think I want it from him but he won't. and its not so much that I want him to change but its that he suppose change on his own. I mean if he can't find any wrong in what he did or even apologize for that matter then wtf is the point.  I really suppose to walk ( Read more... )

so last night I slept in my daughters room. I told him. you rather be alone? well, there you go. Im so furious. I've come to the point where I'm not sad im just really mad. I cant believe he cant sit there as if nothing is wrong. I certainly dont affect him in any way. Apparently all I am is -in the way. it sucks cause i do feel helpless like im ( Read more... )

hello journal . I realized my camera and flash stopped working. just another flaw to add the list of problems with this phone.  so some one gave me advice. from man to man-even though I'm a girl who cries. he said, maybe im acting immature.  maybe  I'm making a big deal of nothing.  although it can be partially true, I dont understand what i have ( Read more... )