it's been over 24-hours since the break-up, and i havn't shed a tear. and i don't intend to! why cry when you're okay? i know he's thinking about me every second of his day, unlike i am towards him. and i hope it's eating away at him when he sleeps at night. harsh? yes, but he deserves it.

well, 3 months and 4 days...that's how long it lasted. i'm seriously shocked that i'm not crying right now, because ben and i just broke up. honestly he's a selfish bastard, and to tell you the truth, i don't really feel all that hurt right now. he can go to hell for all i care, which is just where he's going anyway if he doesn't find a little ( Read more... )

yeah, so i wake up this afternoon, sign on, and ben's on! but he was idle, so i didn't message him. i figured he was at work, anyway. it turns out he finally got his computer fixed, so maybe now he'll actually have a little fucking time to spare for his girlfriend, dammit. i was told to meet him online at like eight tonight, but shelly called and ( Read more... )

well, it would've been kyle's twenty-sixth birthday today, but he didn't quite make it that far. of course, the family and i celebrated with chinese food in his honor tonight. i miss him. don't do drugs, guys. and that's pretty much all i'll say about it right now.

it's almost two in the morning, and i just walked in the door about ten minutes ago. i'm really glad i decided to put all my self-consciousness aside for the night and head up to the ground floor with shelly. i had a really fucking awsome time tonight! i'm sorry, but i never really go out and live, because i'm so worried about what people think and ( Read more... )

well, today marks my 3-month anniversary with ben, and he's nowhere to be found. what a surprise! i hope this isn't true, but i think that if he doesn't put in a little bit more effort and enthusiasm into making time for me soon, it'll be over.

last night my friend annie came over for the first time in a long while. around seven i drove her up to best buy so she could get whatever it was she wanted, then we went to borders and back to my house for a movie night. she finally got me to watch hide and seek, lol. i really wanted to go see it with her when it was out in theatres, but at the ( Read more... )

well, i'm sitting here in a state of shock right now. i just got off the phone with chris, who's gonna call me back in just a little bit. so um, he actually just admitted to me that he's in love with me, but trying not to go after it. i mean, i knew that he loved me and that i was something special to him, but hearing that he's actually in love ( Read more... )

i find i'm waking very early in the morning these days, and i'm less than thrilled about it. i like being on a normal schedule, yes, but i'm getting far too tired far too early into the night. i'll have to fix that somehow. my mom and i spent the night in watching the newer version of romeo + juliet. she's never seen it, and it took a lot of ( Read more... )

well, not to complain, but this pain is a major bitch! last night my teeth were hurting worse than the first day of surgery! now that i've slept they feel a bit better, but it's been four days and i wish it would just stop already ( Read more... )