what a terrible condition. I've got nothing profound to say except that I hope your anxiety disorder will ease and eventually vanish. Someday, maybe you can be free to enjoy life and social occasions with less medication and fewer worries about being able to engage with life in the way that suits you best.
Sorry it took me so long to reply to this comment -- life was pretty hectic and it got lost! Thanks so much for your support. Now that the wedding is done I've been feeling really good, and I wanted to make sure you (and everyone else who reads this entry!) knows that I wrote this when I was at a really low point. Most of the time I don't feel like this. Most days are like today! I'll never be how I used to be, but life generally good.
Like zizi_west, I've got nothing profound to say. I am really sorry that you are having such a tough time. I hope it gets better for you. I can't imagine dealing with a wedding as well (90% of my reason for not getting married is not wanting to deal with the actual wedding part).
I'm not going to copy-pasta my response to zizi, because I like you guys :) Thanks for your comment. The wedding was a big pain, but in the end it was totally worth it for us. I should post some pictures here ...
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