what a week its been, i had to put my chihuahua rusty down on on the 26 of jan, he was my faithful companion. then a few days ago a friend i've known for a few years passed away. then yesterday was my best friends death date of 3 years. the last week has been a blur, Risty came home thu, I had him cremated, my EX helped me pay for it. he has a ( Read more... )

Its been a while, I moved back to NC. Its alright here, don't get me wrong but im always busy. im always so tired, got a great therapist, miss my old one from AL. and once again my bad time of year rolls around, lets see how i manage it this year ive already started to crash more often.


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my depression has been in full swing, my vraylar dosent seem to be working, gonna get my appt with my P-Doc moved from the 17 of November to sooner next week, see about getting the dosage upped, had to call a ambulance wed night, when laying down I couldn't breath, I have Copd, so they did a breathing treatment and i was better, found out using my ( Read more... )

the last few days have been insane, ive been insane, ive been so badly depressed, ive pushed myself to do things to stay outta that hole and its been so hard to not just give up.my therapist called and said hospital which i quickly replied NO, the last one almost killed me. I may be suicidal but i dont wanna die from a stroke, no thank you, so im ( Read more... )

This time of year is such a struggle for me, last night I fought the urges to overdose. I'm just so done with fighting. I wound up calling crisis. Found out I was glucose testing my dog in the wrong place and it greatly upset me. To the point where I feel like I can never do anything right. 6byears now I've been alone. It's growing tireing doing ( Read more... )

retsrating my blog, using it as a tool to help myself and others, broke down at 2 am this morning, i have been having nightmares latley, not sleeping well, maybe 6 hrs a night, my chihuahua has been diagnosed with diabetis, so I have to be up at 7:30 am daily to take care of him, its a hard job, he will be 12 in nov, I was hospitalized in sept, ( Read more... )

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I think I will have my apartment on the first of February, im excited and scared all at the same time, ill be 54 on the 29th and this will be the first time ever living on my own. im scared of being alone with my depression and bipolar and BPD. So this may become a large outlet for me and my FB as well, I need more friends here for support, i dont ( Read more... )

wow so its 2020, never knew id live to see it, but here i am. i turn 54 this month, ive been quite busy taking care of grand girls over the holidays and haven't had time to take pics of my crystal collection yet, but i did receive a ring yesterday from amazon that hit the absolutely most perfect day it could, my daughter and husband got evicted, ( ( Read more... )