Regrets (2/2)
Title: Regrets
Pairing: Matsumiya, Ohmiya, Sakumiya
Genre: AU, Romantic, Angst
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own them :(
Previous
It was the next day of school, exams were over and students were relaxing, it wasn’t strange that some students didn’t come to school the last days. That was why nobody pay attention to Nino’s absent, except Jun.
A few days pass and it was a day before the ceremony, Jun was worried that Nino wouldn’t come, he didn’t want to ask Ohno for he feel guilty for their breakup, so he went to Nino’s house, the plan was just to ask his mother for him. And he was lucky, because his mother answered the door, she told him that Nino had been sick but that was feeling that day so he went out with some friends. Jun feel relieved and assume that Nino was with Ohno, because he didn’t have any other close friends.
The day of graduation Jun was searching the room for Nino, he just wanted to make sure he was really feeling better. Since that day in the cinema guilt was washing non stop over Jun, but that wasn’t all, he was crying every night and not sleeping well, he felt lost without Nino, but still he wouldn’t do anything about it. They will have vacations now and he wasn’t allowed to be near him and that kills him. When Nino was with Ohno, at least he was still his friend and they would talk and laugh together, Nino was still there, at arms reach and that gave him comfort even if he couldn’t touch him, the fact that he was part of his life was enough, but now there was nothing.
A familiar face came in sight, he saw Ohno and Nino’s mom, so Nino has to be nearby. Jun just sit down and let the protocol start, he had to stop himself from turning, he would wait for later to see him.
And he did, when he got his diploma, he saw him looking pale, he had lost weight but there was a glint of hope in his eyes and Jun was grateful for that.
When the ceremony finished all the students where with his families taking pictures and Jun couldn’t escape that, but he tried to get them to hurry up without much fortune.
When his parents left he told them he was going out with some friends, in reality he was looking to see him again, and then Ohno came to him.
The weird atmosphere was cut out by Ohno’s smile congratulating him, he felt relieve by Ohno’s behavior but he didn’t dare to ask for Nino.
“He is better now” Ohno said out of the blue.
Jun bit his lip.
“Ohno-kun, I feel s-…”
“He is leaving now you should say hello”
Jun turned to look where Ohno was looking and he saw him, he was near one of the doors of the auditorium with his mother and two guys he never met before.
Nino didn’t turn to look at him or at Ohno, but Jun had the suspicion that he knew where they were. A the tall guy screamed “Oh-chan, we are going to Nino-chan’s house, hurry up”, people around turned their heads at the noise, the tall guy receiving a smack in the head from the other guy but kept smiling.
“Aren’t you coming Jun?” was Ohno's question.
Jun just shook his head.
“It’s not too late Jun, you may regret your decision later. I don’t want that to happen.”
That took Jun by surprise, but he managed to smiled at Ohno and said “Take care Ohno-kun”.
Ohno just nodded sadly and went to meet the others.
Now that there was not more school, he feel more lonely, the cries weren’t only at night anymore, it could happen at any time of the day, something that makes him remember of Nino, a song, a food, a game, everything and nothing at the same time.
Two months have passed and he feel like dying, he has to do something, even if Nino doesn’t want to see him doesn’t mean he couldn’t see Nino; he just wanted a glance of him, just to be able to breath. So, he started going to the places Nino like to go, the arcade, the restaurants he like, the coffee shop, but nothing, so he started to walk around his neighborhood, being very careful but still nothing, he saw Nino’s mom several times but not sign of Nino. Jun got worried.
He had no choice but to ask Ohno. They met for coffee and Jun try to talk about other things first, Ohno was on college vacation too, still working at the bakery store and has started a new hobby: fishing, that was the reason why he was so tanned. It amused Jun, and he felt relaxed from the first time in a long time. He had to ask.
"How is he?”
“Who?” Asked back Ohno with faked innocence.
“Ohno-kun, you know w-…” he bit his lip “Nino, how is Nino?”
“He is fine”
“I don’t see him anymore”
Ohno said nothing.
“Apparently he doesn’t go out from his house; I’m worry that he’s sick”
“Are you stalking him?” said Ohno amused.
Jun was ashamed, Ohno was smiling.
“He isn’t in town; he went to the country to relax”.
That surprised Jun, Nino hated the country side, he tolerates it for a few days but nothing more, Nino loves all the commodities of the city… and his games.
“Surprising, right?” said Ohno.
“Uhm”
“Some friends asked him to go with them, they said it will be good for him, you know… to recover”
There it was again, the guilt.
Jun just nodded.
Then curiosity got to Jun.
“I didn’t know he had more friends than us, at least that close to go with them”
“He just met them, well he met one first and he introduced him to the other. They are really good people, you would like them”
“I’m glad” Jun smiled.
Ohno frowned. “Jun, …uhm…wha-…”
“What is it Ohno-kun?”
Ohno rethinked what he was going to say “You are having douts, Jun-kun. What if it’s too late by then?”
Jun tooked a breath “I… I’m not doubting, and… what do you mean by being late?”
A brief silence “Nothing… it't just that... nothing”
Jun just stared at him for a while but Ohno said no more. They dropped the subject of Nino and said goodbye to each other.
Jun grew restless, there was a new fear that he didn’t wanted to face, he was so concern by being apart from Nino than he didn’t think of the other option, Nino getting over his love for Jun. That time at the restroom, that was what Nino was talking about, he needed time to get over Jun.
That though was unbearable, Jun wanted Nino’s love, he was selfish that way and he needed to stop, he said to himself. When Nino was with Ohno, Jun could still feel Nino's love for him, it wasn't correct but it made him feel calm. Not having that scare the living hell of him, he decided that he was tired of fighting this, he was stupid and now he was being punished by not having Nino around, there was nobody more important for him than Nino. He had hurt him deeply all this time and that needed to stop. He will be strong… for Nino, he promises. He will take everything that comes their way and he will protect him, he owns him that much and even more. But more important he wanted to love him plenty, he knew it wouldn't it be easy at first but he was willing to gain his trust again, he will prove his love to him. He will do it, damnit.
It was just a couple of weeks before the classes in the university starts, he expected Nino to be home again so he went there. His mom opened the other and said that Nino was going to return the next week, just a few days before classes; apparently he was having a great time in the country.
Clashed emotions run trough Jun, he was happy that Nino was feeling well, so that mean that he would return home in a great mood, but on the other side he wanted to talk to Nino as soon as possible. Ohno’s words made him a little impatient.
So he waited. He knew that Nino returned the day before, he didn’t go there because he though that Nino must be tired and wanting a good rest and expend time with his mother. But now he was going for Nino’s heart. He knocked the door and there was his mom again, she told him that Nino just left to the library nearby to get some books for his new classes.
Jun decided to go there immediately. It was a big library and he was nervous, after some moments looking for him he spotted him, Nino was searching in a shelf, he looked healthy and handsome, the pale face that Jun saw in their graduation was gone and Jun was glad for that. He started to approached Nino, not that sure in how to start the conversation. He was three shelves away when he saw it. There was this guy, Jun was sure he met him before, that guy deared to put his hand in Nino’s waist from behind and whispered something that made Nino smile, a beautiful smile that Jun haven’t seen in Nino in a long time. Jun froze in place.
He felt the pain in his heart and then a void, the thing that he feared the most seemed to happened, he has to make sure so he try to got near them as much as possible without being notice, he got a good spot just behind them and he was able to hear parts of their conversation.
“Mou Sho-chan, I don’t need that many books”
“You will need them Kazu, trust me”
Hearing that guy calling Nino like that brought more pain to Jun,
“I don’t need that many, you can lend me yours” said enthusiastic Nino.
“We are not from the same specialization, we don’t have the same courses”
“But some are the same that you took in first year right?”
“Well, yes, but…”
“You don’t want me to give me your books?” said Nino with a pout
Not resisting that expresion Sho gave him a peck on the lips “Of course you can have them, but I say you need more”
“Little by little Sho-chan, I’m not a bookworm like you” he return the peck on Sho’s nose
“Ok, but as soon you need more we are getting the rest, no complaints, ok?”
Nino just smiled at him.
“After this are we going to see Ohno-san right?”
“Yes, Aiba must be with him right now, I feel sorry for poor Oh-chan”
“And I’m jealous of him, you are always worried about him” now it was turn for Sho to pout.
“He is more than my ex, he is my friend, and I’m only saying that because Aiba can drive anybody crazy”
Sho laugh “He’s loud but people love him, you shouldn’t worry, who knows maybe they could make a great couple”
“Them?”
Sho nodded “Aiba would talk for both of them” he laugh
“I would be happy if Oh-chan finds someone” said Nino a little sad
“Still feeling guilty?”
“It’s more than guilt, its concern, I love Oh-chan and I want him to be happy”
“Are we going to tell him about us tonight?”
“For what we talked on the phone I think he already knows, he knows me that well”
“I want to know Kazu like that too” Sho hugged Nino, who rested his head in his slopping shoulder.
“Thank you, Sho” said Nino in almost a whisper.
“For what?”
“For being there that day”
“You have nothing to thank for, when I saw you like that I just wanted to comfort you in some way, to get the pain out of your beautiful eyes, because it was breaking my heart. Then I continued being around you because I couldn’t stop myself from looking at them. I’m thankful for having to work that day in that place, but I’m more thankful because you didn’t push me away”
“I’m glad I didn’t” said Nino with a smile.
“You scared me Kazu, I was so worried about you those days”
“But you were there, even if I didn’t talk back anything, you just continued being there”
“You already had my heart by then” smiled Sho.
“And you brought Aiba”
“You needed some serious cheering”
“Yes I did”
“And a good vacation away from everything”
“That too”
They kept hugging feeling conten with the other's warm
“Kazu?”
“Uhm” Nino still relaxed in Sho’s arms
“Are you going to talk to him?”
Nino frowned a litlle but then took a deep breath and relaxed “I think I have to. We were good friends for a long time, I want to keep his friendship, but I don’t know how he feels”
“Maybe he still loves you”
“Maybe. But that was never the problem. I think he would feel relief that I found someone else”
“And if he does something” now worry could be seen in Sho’s eyes.
Nino considered that for a brief moment
“It doesn’t matter anymore, because the one I love now is Sho-chan” Nino raised his head to look deeply at Sho not wanting to leave any doubts in their love. A love that Nino didn’t saw possible but that got to him in the moment he needed it the most.
“I love you too Kazu” said Sho and close the gap between their lips. A tender and loving kiss.
Nino had to back his head “Sho-chan, they are going to kick us out” said whispering.
“So what?” dared Sho
“You wouldn’t be able to buy your books here anymore” said Nino with a smirk
Sho opened his eyes big “Yabai, lets go to some other place”
Nino just laughed at Sho’s reaction and let himself being dragged to the cashier and out of the store.
All that time Jun was there in the floor behind them, listening with tears in his eyes and a broken heart. He lost Nino, he lost his love, he was too late and he is the only one to blame.
He continued crying silently there before standing up with a resolution. He wouldn’t loss all of Nino, he heard him said that he wanted his friendship, so he will give him at least that, in some way Jun would be able to be near him, he knows it maybe awkward for both at the beginning and it will be painful to see him in other's arms but he will try his best, for Nino and for him.
Who knows maybe he would have another chance in the future, although for what he heard that guy loves Nino very much and he was able to mend Nino's heart. Whatever happens, being Nino or another person, Jun would not show more fear next time, he would love with all his heart, that way he will have no regrets. Even if doesn’t work at the end he will be happy knowing that he did his best, because one regret in love is more than enough for a lifetime and he has learned his lesson.