Beating Heart (6/6)
Title: Beating Heart
Pairing: Matsumiya, Sakumiya, Junba
Genre: Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I wish I do
Summary: Nino's sickness makes him take some new decisions about his life
Previous Chapter
SHO’S POV
I’ve been waiting in the kitchen with Aiba and Ohno while they talk. I must admit that I’m fucking jealous of Jun, but all I can do is wait, just wait. When Jun comes he has a look of sadness and acceptance that lift my hopes up. Later we are all five together in the living room, sharing past memories and making promises for the future, our future. It all seems so perfect now, but deep down we know better, we know that all could be leave in that, just dreams and wishes. But for the moment we play to dream, together.
After they leave, it’s only Nino and me again. We walk to the room and lay there, facing each other, no words spoken and the fear shown in the way we hold hands, almost painful, but neither wants to let go. After minutes like that I speak “Nino, are you okay now?” It seems a silly question but it’s necessary to me to ask.
“Yeah, everything is fine” Lie “You worry too much Sho-chan” he tries to grin but it wavers.
“You forgave them”
“There was nothing to forgive”
I frown “But-”
“It’s all in the past now”
“Jun too?”
He takes a moment to think “He will always be my friend”
“I know that but you still love him. Maybe there’ll another chance for you two”
“Would you like that?”
I gulped because I still can’t say what I feel for him but I don’t want to lie to him either.
“I asked” he says leaning closer; my heart is beating faster at his proximity. He stops and his thin lips are lingering over mine, his breath warm as anything in this world “Sho” he whispers hotly. And that’s the end of my self control because next I’m biting softly his lower lip, then licking along asking for permission and he responds opening his mouth with a whimper and letting my tongue in. The taste is intoxicating and I try to focus to engrave in my brain, I force myself to keep my eyes open as much as I could so I can see his face lost in the feeling of my kisses. I want to know every reaction I can make him do. His tongue is now caressing mine and I suck his breath making him moan. I like the sounds he makes. I like everything about him. When we need to pull apart to breath, damn air, I see his glassy eyes and red lips and I can help to lean again to kiss again, this time more forceful and he lets me, not only that, he responds just as passionate if not more.
By now I realized that our hand had separated someway in the middle and had found other places to hold on. Mine are one on his hip and the other on his lower back under his shirt. His are both in my neck pulling me closer. Before we take this farther were there’s not return I have to ask “Kazu” I breath out, shamelessly sounded like a moan. He looks directly into my eyes, into my soul “This may be my last night” he softly speaks at the same time he moves his body lightly as if trying to ask and rub at the same time. I know what he wants because I want it too. So badly. I grin “Then let’s make it worth it” and we’re kissing again, hands lifting t-shirts as far as they can without breaking the kiss, he rubs his groin over mine and we gasp taking the opportunity to pull finally our shirts and my mouth is now in his neck tasting the light sweat there, nibbling his collarbones an then caressing his nipples to later lick them and suck them until they are hard.
His head is thrown back exposing his neck and I return there to nip and kiss again. “Sho” he calls for me. I’m right there again kissing his now bruised lips. I feel his hand going between our bodies looking for something; he takes his hand inside my pants and tries to grab my member. I pull apart and take his hand away, he looks at me wondering “Not yet” I answer and I lower myself to be me who pulls his pants first, taking a moment to appreciate the beauty of his naked body, all flush in anticipation. I caress his cheeks moving my hand lower tracing a path until his hard member. He gasps at the touch and its music to my ears, “Sho” that sexy wanting voice, I can help but smile and take it in my mouth, sucking the head seeing him arch his back. I lick from the base to the tip moving my tongue around and taking all in trying moves to see witch ones makes the best reactions. I’m deep throating him and I love it, just because it’s him and I want to taste him. I can tell he’s trying to not be rough, to not lose control and fuck my mouth; but I don’t want him to, I want to make him feel the ultimate pleasure, to take everything, as he said this maybe his last time. So my other hand goes from massaging his balls to caress his entrance lightly to press a reaction and it works because now his cock is deep inside and I take it moving faster telling him with my gaze that it’s okay. He takes the hint and he’s fucking my mouth reaching his orgasm. At the last moment he tries to pull out but I don’t let him, with a guttural grunt he comes inside my mouth and I try to take it all. It tastes like nectar to me, because it’s his, I greedily clean all traces with my tongue, until he pulls me up to kiss and taste the remains.
“Sho” he murmurs between kisses “look there” he signals to the drawer. I take the lube and condom “You don’t have to Kazu” I said ignoring my painful erection. “I want to” he takes the condom and throw it away “I want to feel you inside me” I peck his lips and take off my pants, and then I coat my fingers and probe at his entrance. One first and his cock is waking up again, his face shows both pain and pleasure at the same time. So fucking beautiful. By the third, he’s a panting mess, his cock is full hard as I brush his spot making him moan and gasp louder, exposing his neck, I can help to bit him this time, hard enough to leave a mark, I lick the spot in silent apology but I see him smile as he’s proud of that. I can’t take this anymore, it’s too much. I remove my fingers and he whines for a brief moment because next I’m entering the heat, it takes a lot to not come just at the pressure and the idea that I’m side him, that in this moment we’re one.
I see tears forming in the corners of his eyes and I kiss them goodbye, he tries to control his breathing, then he moves his hips as a sign. My first trusts are shallow, but then we come to a delicious pace that’s good for both. All this time his nails are leaving marks on my back and we kiss sloppy. His legs are around my waist pulling me deep inside, I move the angle a little until I find his spot making him cry loud. I quicken my movements, as he wants me to, faster, harder, deeper I’m so close but I want him to come first so I take his leaking erection and pull it fast twisting my hand at the end. Just a minute more and he comes again, my name on his lips as he screams, his seed on his stomach and in my hand. A few more thrusts and my orgasm comes, spilling inside his hole, the though of me filling him to much to handle. I continue pounding until there’s not more force left, falling on top, too tired to pull out.
Our breaths normalizing, sweat covering us, the room feels moist and you can smell sex at the distance. We are satiated and happy; when I try to get up he stops me. “Just going to get a towel” I kiss him lightly and go to the bathroom. After cleaning up I slide next to him covering our bodies and pulling him to my chest, nuzzling his hair. We don’t talk, I want to but words could break the magic of this moment so I just let him fall sleep and when I sense that he already is, I whisper words of love to him before follow him to dreamland.
NINO’S POV
Next morning, I wake up with Sho hugging me, it’s such a great feeling something I had came to treasure in the past week. I still can believe how everything has chance. I justed to love Jun and now…
I trace his lips with my finger and he stirs “Kazu, you’re awake. What time is it?”
I keep my eyes on him taking all in, his presence always beside me, all the gestures of love that I had missed to notice, all is clear now.
“Kazu?”
“I’m sorry” He stiffens “I’m sorry I didn’t see it before”
He takes a deep breath “It’s okay”
“It’s not okay! All this time, I had hurt you” my voice breaks at the end.
He cups my face “I made a decision a long time ago, your happiness always comes first. My job is to make sure of that. I never thought…”
I kiss him softly “Never thought of what?”
“Of us being an option”
“Because of Jun?”
He nods and I kiss him again “I can’t promise a future, the hell, I can’t even promise a tomorrow; but know this Sakurai Sho, in this moment there’s not other person I wish to spend my last hours with but you. In this dark time you had become my light and if my life ends now I’m thankful that I could had know your feelings and in some way reciprocate them, because I’m falling in love wit-”
Before I could finish, Sho is kissing me deeply and I feel it, all the love he has, I want him to let it show, he shouldn’t hide it anymore. I don’t want him to.
“I love you Kazu” he finally declares.
I grin “I-” He puts his finger over my mouth to not speak.
“Tell me when it’s over, I’ll be waiting”
I nod. We stay there until we couldn’t avoid to get up, shower and leave for the hospital. Before we leave the house I took a moment to recall all the moments I lived there and to say a silent goodbye to the place I call home.
When we arrive, my mom and sister are already there; but my other family is there too, Jun, Ohno and Aiba; all with smiles trying to mask the fear that I can see in their eyes. They say is not a goodbye but it feels a lot like one. All came to hug me and wish me the best, some playing jokes and others with tears threatening to spill; but all with so much love. When the nurse says it’s time Sho is the last I talk to.
“See you soon, Kazu” He tries to be strong.
“Sho-chan, if I make it would you take me on a proper date next time?”
He grins with watery eyes “Only if you return to me” he kisses me softly “I’ll be waiting”
The last thing I remember its darkness and sleepiness, maybe product of some drug they pull into my veins. Then nothing.
1 ½ MONTH LATER
“Sho-chan!”
“What is it, Kazu” Sho comes running from the kitchen.
“My battery is dead, Sho-chan” Nino pouts “bring the charger, it’s in the living room”
Sho pecks his bratty friend “On my way” Nino grins.
Life after the operation it’s like this, after a month being in a hospital bed he was release and Sho has been living with him, taking care of all his demands. Of course, Nino’s mom comes almost every day when Sho is at work. She in fact offered to live with him, but Nino choose Sho and the rapper couldn’t be happier. Aiba, Ohno and Jun also go often to accompany the gamer and so he will not feel forgotten. Jun more than the others though and that made Sho a little uneasy. However he felt reassured when at night Nino would press closer and will not let go of his body until the next morning, taking Sho as his human pillow. Surely there had been kisses here and there, but not a word of love had left Nino’s lips and the date seems impossible at the moment.
A couple of weeks later when Sho returned late to the apartment, exhausted of too much work each member without Kazu, he was on edge to know what the doctor had said in the afternoon consult. Nino hadn’t been returning his calls and messages and he was starting to fear that something could be wrong. He found the lights off and a death silence, no music from the DS. He headed to their room and was pleasantly surprised to find a naked Nino lying on the bed in a sexy pose; he licked his lips taking on what was presented to him, his arousal waking up, all tiredness forgotten.
“Sho-chan” Nino calls “You know what the doctor said?”
Sho was already walking slowly toward the bed without blinking “I-I don’t know”
Nino smirks “He said I’m ready for physical activities”
That was all Sho needed to know as a growl escaped his lips and his body was already in top of the naked gamer, devouring his mouth and licking every part of exposed skin. A minute later he was naked too, clothes torn apart in the hurry, and Nino giggling proudly at the reaction of the rapper, until the giggles were replaced by moans of pleasure.
After consuming each other and when they were laying breathless but content Nino was the first to talk. “I love you Sho-chan” and the shyness of his voice touch deeply Sho’s heart. He kissed him, this time more tender in contrast of all the hungrier kisses they shared before. Sho grinned when they pulled apart “I love my Kazu too”
When they were all cleaned and ready to sleep in the darkness of the room, Nino took both of Sho’s hands and put them over his heart. “It’s yours” he said “It’s not new and it’s damaged but still beats. It’s yours now”
Sho enlaced his fingers with Nino’s keeping their hands over his heart, he kissed his Kazu “I’ll keep it safe, but you can’t ask it back. It’s mine now and I’ll never let it go”
Kazu started falling sleep, cuddling closer “It’s okay, I know I have yours in return”. Sho smiled and murmured “You sure do Kazu, it was always yours” before drifting to sleep too.
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This wasn’t supposed to take that long but I was in a bad mood and didn’t feel like writing, when I tried I made a mess where Nino dies so after a few days I rewrote it and here it is!
I’m happy with how it turned out, hope you like it J
I’m out of inspiration so if you want an idea for a new story I’m taking requests, especially if it’s Matsumiya