Perspective Distortion
Title: Perspective Distortion
Series: None (one-shot)
Rating: G
Characters: Lewis Hamilton, Nico Rosberg
Pairing: None
Disclaimer: Lies
Word count: 580
Notes: I have a thing about glasses. Lewis was suddenly sporting glasses. Stuff happened.
Summary: Lewis suddenly has glasses. This merits (an) investigation (of sorts).
Link to AO3
( Fake cut )
The first thing Nico thinks when he sees Lewis and his big-frame nerd glasses in person isn’t the first thing he says, which is (obviously) a sincere enquiry if the old man needs reading glasses so soon after turning thirty. Lewis, who apparently doesn’t understand how these things work, looks at him strangely and asks, ‘Do you know what reading glasses are?’, as if there is any possibility he-or in fact anyone in the world at all-doesn’t know what reading glasses are for. Lewis, he thinks, can, for all he can’t act to save his life, somehow still ruin any joke with some masterful false sincerity.
Nico won’t stoop to actually saying “I’m calling you old”, though, because who does that? Instead, and much more appropriately in the grand scheme of messing with your friends, Nico says his first thought, ‘You don’t need glasses,’ and plucks the damn things off Lewis’ nose and puts them on.
‘What the hell, man?’ Lewis complains. He seems to be slightly more difficult to look at than usual. Nico experimentally closes one eye, then the other, and the first one again, trying to decide whether his mind is playing tricks on him or if there’s actually a prescription lens in there. ‘Do you need glasses?’ he asks, squinting at Lewis through the back of the lens he thinks might, possibly, not just be a pane of glass. He still can’t tell. ‘And if you do, why don’t I know about it?’
Lewis snatches his glasses back and puts them back on. ‘Why would you know?’
‘I wasn’t done with them,’ Nico protests, at the same time.
‘Get your own then,’ Lewis says without much sympathy.
‘I don’t need glasses.’
Lewis shrugs.
‘I wanted to see how I looked in them,’ Nico says, now that he supposes there will be no further clarification in the matter of the nature of the glasses.
‘They were terrible on you,’ Lewis says dismissively. Honestly, he doesn’t even really doubt this, but it’s the principle of the thing. If you can’t even admire yourself in the juvenilely-acquired fashion accessories of your friends, what’s the point of stealing them in the first place? Nico pouts.
Lewis rolls his eyes and sighs. ‘Fine,’ he says. ‘Here.’
Nico takes them, looking around for the nearest reflective surface, and studies his reflection. He does, as advertised, look worse in them than Lewis-though Nico is still withholding his unasked-for judgement as to whether he actually likes their look on Lewis himself.
‘Hold still,’ Lewis commands, sliding the business end of his phone in Nico’s face and taking his no doubt soon-to-be-blackmail material.
‘Are you done?’ Nico asks, when Lewis is flicking through his catch, enough time later that it’s become irritating.
‘Hmm,’ says Lewis, not even bothering to look up. ‘Maybe.’
Nico, who is still wearing Lewis’ glasses and now unsure if he will surrender them without a fight, decides that he should probably not also steal Lewis’ phone out of his hands. He’s still getting that eye strain again, though, and with giving them back being out of the question, he compromises by setting them on top of his head.
‘Hah,’ Lewis laughs at the screen. ‘You look like some professor.’
‘I do not,’ Nico counters.
‘Yes, you do,’ Lewis says, still laughing, moving to show him the evidence, and then pausing when he sees his stupid glasses still in Nico’s hair.
Nico sighs.
Lewis, of course, snaps another picture.