I knew you then. I swear, it was a thousand, thousand years ago. An age, a lifetime, an eon…if I think about it in biological terms, it still seems long. Some of my cells have never met you. The cells in my stomach don’t remember being stirred by your face, or being nauseated by your loss. They tell stories to each other during the quiet times, of ( Read more... )

i cant do anything without ruining lives.
i'm a train wreck, i'm a car crash, i'm a ballistic missle.
i'm sorry.
please god let him know that i'm sorry.

I can tell you a story that will curl your hair ( Read more... )

i tried to buy burmuda shorts today. i failed. my legs are just too short to properly wear said shorts...instead, they turn into capris. and the pair that DID look like actual burmuda shorts on me were too small in the hips and waist...damn. one more thing to top off a largely unhappy day ( Read more... )

i've come to accept the fact that i'm a fuck up. seriously. i've totally come to accept the fact that i ruin peoples lives, that i'm not as smart as all the IB kids (i did get a 31 on my acts though) that i've had sex before marriage (at this point, the only people i care about knowing are my family, everyone else knows anyway) that i'm really ( Read more... )

i always think that to myself, once a month, if you're pickin up what i'm layin down. i used to think that i could inexplicably get pregnant without having sex. that someday i would wake up knocked up, without having done anything to become that way. thus, once a month, i always breathe a sigh of relief, sometimes moreso relived than other times ( Read more... )

yeah, i havent updated in awhile. its not that i dont have the time. i have the time. i have more time than i can seem to deal with...and yet, i have no idea where my time goes. i get off the phone every night at 11, having no clue what happened from 5 until i'm done. and for what avail? its not helping. i'm not helping him. he's being... i dont ( Read more... )

List ten things you want to say to people but you know you never will ( Read more... )

if only the world wasn't so full of ups and downs. if only love was garunteed to be safe. if only i could trust. if only i was 8lbs skinnier. if only ididnt eat. all the time. if only i was a "shoe in" at BU like Mr. Ottem thinks. if only harvard was a reach school instead of a beyond the stars school. if only i could afford both. if only i wasnt ( Read more... )

(*note--this is based on a song that was stuck in my head, called "all hail the heartbreaker" by the spill canvas. i highly reccomend listening to it to get in the mood for this entry. signing out...cq ( Read more... )