to try and try and yet come up short, to hang my head and never look up, to not able to make anything right, it turns my brightest day to darkest night. thinking of strength, yet i find myself weak, brings a gut-wrenching pain that none can understand. failure has never been a part of my plan. who really plans to fail. i curse times i dont, ( Read more... )

He told me it was just a game. They told me i was addicted. Then they yell, but he plays too...

i was thinking tonight about my relationships. or lack there of i should say. i realized that i seriously suck at keeping in touch with people. i mean, seriously the only people i really keep in touch with are chris, rodney, marco, cecilia (marco's wife) and i guess really their whole family, and jonathan. its not that i want to ignore everyone, ( Read more... )

life is like a box of chocolates. or is it...i mean think about it, is it really all that hidden from us. if you sat down and rationally thought out every decision, you can probably figure out what is goin to happen, or fairly close anyway. but who is actually that motivated to do so. i think people complicate things just to complicate them. like ( Read more... )

life is rather odd...i think that i might finally be happier than ever, but then i just get really down. i think stress from everything has something to do with it. my parents dont think im trying hard enough in school, im workin my *** off and still i have 2 B's...sigh...been in trouble all semester seems like. IM 18!!!! egh...cant wait til i can ( Read more... )

an update...wow...been awhile. anyway, school is still goin. of course. sigh. ive been feeling rather down lately. just life i guess. not gonna go into detail on that but soooo much has happened. its crazy. yeah. on top of bein media person and sound person, they have me playing guitar. but theres another sound person and theres someone else who ( Read more... )

things in college are about the same. still hating it. christmas is soon...bleh...not really lookin forward to the holidays...BUT i am goin to florida the day after christmas so that should be fun. hopefully. im goin through hockey and soccer withdrawals...bleh...not enough games...soccer is over for fall and most of the hockey games are away til ( Read more... )

wow. its been a long time since i updated...i deleted everything cuz i got into some trouble earlier this year...EGH...anyway, not gonna get into that. so i was randomly inspired to update. let's see. where to begin...im in college. at UAH, of course. rusty told me i would love college and that college is wonderful...LIAR...yes, i hate college. i ( Read more... )

A friend sent me this: "When I meditated on the word GUIDANCE, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. When one person realizes that, ( Read more... )