What is my life, except screamed out philosphy and nights of heated passion with Nenya? Is there no more to me then a touch of wit and a beret? Why was I created, except to shine. What caused a young rock to take up deeper things ( Read more... )

Am on quest to rescue beloved Nenya. She has been kidnapped by soulless she-beast known only to the rest of the world as 'Peter Mansbridge' with me is my faithful manservant Gaav. Say hello, Gaav ( Read more... )

One day it's all sunshine and daisies and you and your galpal are hanging out with her old owner ( Read more... )

Jacques here with an important announcement.

Silmarils can't drown.

However, sex in water is an interesting experience.

Back to your daily lives.

I HAVE TAKEN UP PHILOSPHY!

Actually, all these thoughts are somewhat worriesome. Wish Nenya was awake. Need distractionnnn...

Woo doggySo that's what they're there for ( Read more... )

Zank 'eavens, for leeetle girls
Okay, song knowledge ends there. But location has changed, helllllllo hobbit.

So many things to do upon waking up. Twirl mustache. Fantasize about Rufus ( Read more... )

I AM JACQUES.

Now all I need is a tiny beret!

Oh, I'm still kidnapped. Feel free to save me at any time.

The pattern is starting again.

This will not stand!

Actually, it probably will because I the hard piece of stone can do jackshit. Oh well.

To entertain you, I will do impressions.

Watch carefully...

Now I'm limestone!

Okay, this one takes a bit of work.

Quartz!

Applause, spare change, and praise welcomed.