it does. the first month or so after i would cry at the drop of a hat.
my mom and i have a monthly ritual - they offer mass at the cemetery where he is buried at. we go, talk to him, sometimes cry. we try to tell ourselves not to be sad because really, that's not what my grandpa would've wanted. he would be so upset to see me so sad.
i was telling my mom the other day that i am sad for myself. he did not see me graduate. he didn't see my apartment. he won't see me get married. my kids won't know the amazing person that he was.
there are still things that make me cry today. if i hear someone sing ave maria i will sob. when i was in the er one day i saw a guy who looked just like my grandpa. i cried then too. somedays at the cemetery are better than others. holidays hurt. but, i have photos. i have happy memories.
time helps. but i never once told myself i wasn't supposed to feel the way i did.
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my mom and i have a monthly ritual - they offer mass at the cemetery where he is buried at. we go, talk to him, sometimes cry. we try to tell ourselves not to be sad because really, that's not what my grandpa would've wanted. he would be so upset to see me so sad.
i was telling my mom the other day that i am sad for myself. he did not see me graduate. he didn't see my apartment. he won't see me get married. my kids won't know the amazing person that he was.
there are still things that make me cry today. if i hear someone sing ave maria i will sob. when i was in the er one day i saw a guy who looked just like my grandpa. i cried then too. somedays at the cemetery are better than others. holidays hurt. but, i have photos. i have happy memories.
time helps. but i never once told myself i wasn't supposed to feel the way i did.
let me know if you want to talk.<3
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