I spoke with Zac last night after having this conversation with Jeremy. A very Jeremy conversation- I asked him to tell me what he wanted and he only told me what he has wanted in the past, will want in his future 6 years from now and that I am beautiful and wonderful. That's fine- because after talking to Zac and then Shane, I realize that I must ( Read more... )

I just had eggs. That's all I ate today. And coffee...does coffee count. Sorry Joy- I can't seem to gain any weight, yet. But I'm sure I will when I'm with my dad. He'll shove it down my throat ( Read more... )

i don't even know what to write. i want to write so many things to try and explain what's wrong, or right or going on...but i can't. i can't write a god damn word because i'd just have to look at it. it's better to be someone and be unfulfilled than to be no one and unfulfilled, right? i'm hoping it is. otherwise- otherwise. i'm not a writer or a ( Read more... )

Going home soon. I hope to simply see Zac if nothing else. I just want to see him again. I will go to Borders and look at him from a far. I will also hang w/ JJ, although I am expecting nothing but that he has forgotten all about me and is after some other girl, or just his career. But if I can only see him- I will be a happy girl ( Read more... )

I've determined I'm getting Zac back. I looked up our Chinese sign compatibility- I know, this is so fucking stupid- but he's a Dog and I'm a Tiger and according to it we have a 90% compatiblity rate! That was better than any other people I entered into the computer. C'mon- those Asians know what the hell they're talking about! I'm getting him back ( Read more... )

So, I had two dreams last night. The first was w/ Joy- that was just funny and strange. But the second was w/ Zac. We were together and I was getting matching tattoos like the hearts on his wrists. I really fucking love those tattoos...I'd love to get them. Unfortunately I'm not famous enough that it won't matter. But once I am, you can gurantee ( Read more... )

Wow- this break could not come soon enough. Things yet to do ( Read more... )

I come home and see an instant message on my screen: Shane saying he's coming to cinci to get his stuff. Wow- thanks for the newsflash. I told him to call me a week before hand, but he says he just got the truck. He says he's coming over right now- I say my father is here. He says he doesn't care. I say I'm going to put his stuff outside. He says I ( Read more... )

Soooooo ( Read more... )

Well- didn't get to see Bright Eyes. I guess that's what I get for rubbing it in Joy's face! I hate you, Joy. Just so you know. I spoke with Brad again- I love talking to him. I have such wonderful memories with him. Bad ones, too- but that just makes all the good ones that much better. I love him, still. I know I always will. That's never changed ( Read more... )