So many things to do. Take it one thing at a time, I suppose. I am lonely and trying to deal with being lonely. I see so many of my friends coping without a significant other in my life, and while it's inspiring, it's also depressing because it makes me wonder why I am having such a difficult time with it. And I know it's not because I was just ( Read more... )

Auditions went well. I felt good about them even though I didn't get a call back. Joy did- this makes me happy. I love that girl- I know she's gonna kick ass at the call back. She can't help it- she doesn't have any idea how fucking talented she is. She will though ( Read more... )

Sooo ( Read more... )

Jeremy came and picked me up last night and we stopped by Graeters and got ice cream. I met his father and grandfather and walked his gorgeous dog, Chief. We went back and I made him watch The Philedephia Story with me- he called me this morning after my night of binge drinking by myself. He wants to start watching old movies together. It's so ( Read more... )

The show is over. Sad, really. I'll miss Lisa. It's kind of difficult to let her go. Some of her is still with me, though. Not the serial killer/sociopath part...but you understand? Okay ( Read more... )

Well, Matt stayed over last night. We didn't sleep together either. I'm very glad. Both of us decided not to. I really like him. I hate that I like him, but I can't fucking help it. He's just a good fucking guy. And those are hard to come by. He told me it's okay if I don't want to move forward, but he doesn't want to me to do a 360 again. We both ( Read more... )

The show opened and I guess everyone did really well- at least that's what people are saying anyway. I stayed w/ Jeremy and nothing happened, of course. Nothing emotionally nothing physically. We're just in a very, very strange place. Nothing is going on romantically whatsoever. There are guys I see, eat with, go to coffee with, drink with- but ( Read more... )

I'm so fucking tired. This show is eating me alive. Ah- my throat. I'm going out w/ Jeremy for food and bed. That's all. I don't care- at least I have someone to snuggle with. I can't even concentrate long enough to ask myself how I feel. L.

I shouldn't have been drunk last night. But I was. And I did take someone home with me. And we didn't sleep together or anything! Woo hoo! Go me! I did kind of say that I loved him...but I can retract it once he wakes up. It was an awful night, to say the least. Then this morning my hair dryer went out because the electricity in this house sucks. ( Read more... )

Whoa- what was I thinking? I cannot be with Matt. He is so unstable=not good for me at all. I am telling him today that I cannot do this. And I do still have feelings for Jeremy, and I won't let something go again. Not again. It would kill me. So- I'm ending things today and having a friendship for one time in my god damn life! I would start to be ( Read more... )