Too in Love to Let it Go, Chapter 30
Author: gingerandfair/lavender_love00
Genre: AU/Married!Klaine/future-fic
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 5600/200,000
Spoilers: none
Chapter summary: In which all things are right with the world again.
Prologue (LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 1 (LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 2 (LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 3 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 4 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 5 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 6 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 7 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 8 (LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) Chapter 9 (LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 10 (LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 11 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 12 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 13 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 14 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 15 (LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 16 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 17 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 18 (LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 19 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 20 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 21 (LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 22 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 23 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 24 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 25 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 26 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 27 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 28 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C) - Chapter 29 ( LJ/AO3/Tumblr/S&C)
Read Chapter 30 on AO3/Tumblr/S&C
Chapter 30
Saturday, October 14, 2023
Kurt awoke to a mouth on his cock.
Actually, his own groan was what woke him up from a weird dream in which Rachel was pregnant with Marc Jacobs' baby and Kurt was assigned to design the nursery. He much preferred being awake.
"Mmm," he sighed, petting what looked like the shoulder of the lump under the covers. "Morning."
A lewd pop, and moments later Blaine's head appeared from underneath the sheet. "Morning," he smiled.
"That's quite a way to wake a guy up, you know."
Blaine's eyes twinkled mischievously. "You've never complained about it before."
"That's true. Come here," he said, reaching up to grab around Blaine's neck and rolling them to their sides. "It's the best thing, waking up with you in bed with me."
"Mmm, yes," Blaine agreed, wrapping himself around Kurt's body. It was Kurt's favorite place to be, enveloped in a cocoon of his husband.
There really wasn't a need for words after that. Kurt's mouth and Blaine's mouth were occupied with things other than speaking, like kissing each other's favorite spots, the dip in Blaine's throat just below his Adam's apple, Kurt's belly-button, the inside of Blaine's ankle, the backs of Kurt's knees. They covered each other in kisses, writing love on each other's bodies with their lips, tracing over the bite-marks and the large bruise on Blaine's hip with tender care.
Kurt was a little surprised at how safe he felt, open and naked with Blaine, though he guessed he shouldn't have been. His trust had been growing steadily with Blaine's efforts, and it was certainly nice to be 'wooed', as Blaine had put it the night before. Blaine was good at wooing, no matter how much he protested that he wasn't. But right then, anything might've felt like wooing to Kurt. The fact that Blaine had one of Kurt's toes sucked into his mouth even felt like wooing, and Jesus, something like that shouldn't make all the blood rush to his cock, but between morning wood and a half-finished blowjob, he really didn't think he could be expected to help it.
It was a magnificent way to engage in foreplay, just kissing and touching, forgoing each other's cocks for now, wanting to spend time on the rest of their bodies. Like Blaine's hands. Kurt picked one of them up, turning it over and gazing at it. Blaine's hands were so masculine, popped veins, a light dusting of dark hair on the backs of them, perfect knuckles. And god, the things Blaine could do with those hands, with his fingers - they were perfect. And Kurt wanted them in his mouth. Well, Kurt really wanted other things in his mouth as well, but they could wait. Right now, one finger, then two, and Blaine was moaning softly. Kurt sucked them all the way in, so far that he was tonguing around Blaine's wedding band, and the tears in his eyes weren't from any kind of gag reflex, but from the intense gratitude he felt that Blaine hadn't ever taken it off.
The two fingers were replaced by a tongue, and they were kissing again, Kurt rolling on top of Blaine to press him against the mattress. They were both hard, blissfully hard, their nerves abuzz with love and desire. They kissed and kissed and morning breath didn't even matter because Kurt needed Blaine and Blaine needed Kurt and by now they tasted the same anyway.
This, even more than the night before, was the assurance that Kurt needed that they would be okay. Because the night before had been lust-driven and frantic, about love, yes, but mainly about getting off. But this? This was love personified, waking up in the same bed, seeing each other wrecked and messy in the daylight and kissing each other through it and loving each other in spite of it. This was the Blaine he fell in love with, he realized, finally understanding what Dr. Jacobson had told him. Blaine had changed, and so had he, but just because Blaine was taking an anti-depressant and the only reason he could eat was his bottle of Zofran, just because they'd needed some time to breathe, to think, to be apart, didn't mean that Blaine didn't love him just as much as he had six years prior when they'd made vows to each other.
It was Kurt who broke the silence a few moments later. "I want you," he whispered, his lips close to Blaine's ear.
Blaine smiled underneath him. "How?"
"Like before. But - together."
"You're gonna have to be a little more specific," Blaine said, his eyes sparkling in the morning light. "There have been a lot of 'before's.' I'm not sure which one you're talking about."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "I think you know exactly which 'before' I'm talking about. I think you just want to hear me say it."
"And what if I do?"
"Fine." Kurt leaned in close, letting his breath wash warm over Blaine's ear. "I want to sixy-nine with you," he whispered.
The wattage in Blaine's smile could power the city for a week. "Okay."
Kurt made himself let go of Blaine long enough to turn around, facing the foot of the bed, and turned on his side.
"I love you," he said, swiping his tongue over the head of Blaine's perfect cock.
"Mmm, Kurt …" Blaine sighed, laving at Kurt's balls, sucking one into his mouth.
They licked and teased and sucked, drawing it out, Kurt kissing up one side of Blaine's cock and down the other, gasping as Blaine ran his tongue in smooth circles around the head of his.
"I love you," Kurt murmured, breathing the words against Blaine's thigh. "Do you know how much?"
"Show me," Blaine said, following the big vein on the underside of Kurt's dick with his tongue.
It was impossible for Kurt to show Blaine how much he loved him. Kurt's love for Blaine took up more space than there was in the sky, which is why he crumbled so quickly into fine grains of dust when Blaine left him. But Blaine asked, so he'd do the best he could.
Kurt ran his fingers up and down the fronts of Blaine's thighs, lightly scratching with his fingernails. He stretched forward, breathing hot over Blaine's cock before slowly, torturously sinking his mouth down, feeling every ridge and bump and curve as he went. Blaine's cock was so smooth and so hard in his mouth, like silk-covered steel, and he inhaled slowly, trying to overwhelm his senses with everything Blaine. It wasn't difficult to do, with Blaine's balls right underneath his nose, Blaine's hands around his ass and Blaine's cock filling up his mouth.
Blaine moaned Kurt's name as he sank further. Kurt's gentle sucking seemed to ignite some sort of fire in him, because in one quick, smooth movement, he swallowed Kurt's cock whole, his hands squeezing each side of Kurt's ass hard. Kurt groaned around him, his hips jerking toward the back of Blaine's throat. Blaine didn't gag, just swallowed harder - he'd always been particularly gifted in the art of deep-throating, where it had taken Kurt years of practice, and still he couldn't always manage.
Kurt felt around on the bed with his one free hand, trying to locate the lube before he lost all his fine motor control. Finally his fingers hit the cool bottle under the sheets and he popped it open, messily squeezing some over his fingers while still sucking Blaine off. It was worth the difficulty, though, when he finally circled his slippery fingers over Blaine's hole, and Blaine growled around his cock, the vibrations in Blaine's throat sending vibrations through Kurt's entire body.
They continued this pattern, exponentially spurring each other on, until Blaine's hips were jerking and Kurt's eyes were watering, and oh god, oh god, oh god …
It was overwhelming, feeling this much pleasure in such a short amount of time after living in a sexual wasteland for the last month. Kurt didn't think that his body was quite big enough to handle all of it, two of his fingers being swallowed in Blaine's asshole, his cock being swallowed down Blaine's throat, his own throat in the middle of a welcome invasion by the tip of Blaine's cock. It was like he was being eaten alive and suffocated at the same time, and yet nothing had ever felt more intimate or sweet.
He wished he could speak, but his words were bound with Blaine's breadth. There were so many things to say, and he knew that even if he could say them, they wouldn't come out right, not now, and then he stopped wishing, stopped thinking altogether because Blaine was doing something new with his tongue.
Kurt whined and fucked Blaine harder with his fingers, rubbing over his prostate, never letting the pad of a finger slip from the tiny little nub from which Blaine's cries were drawn. Blaine was getting rougher, and Kurt was getting closer, his voice one long string of muffled vowels as Blaine fucked his mouth hard over Kurt's cock. He acted like it was nothing for it to hit the back of his throat and slide deeper every time he sank down.
Kurt's orgasm hit him like a freight train.
He felt his body pulsating in time with Blaine's, their cocks spurting, their mouths filling, Blaine's hole clenching. Kurt couldn't breathe, so he pulled off with a gasp, hoping he wouldn't suck come down into his lungs as Blaine continued to shoot out, warm and wet on his face. He was moaning still, louder now that his mouth and throat were free as Blaine pulled the last of Kurt's orgasm from him with his tongue.
"Oh, oh Blaine," he begged, hugging around Blaine's pelvis because he had to get close, had to be closer, and that was the most available part of his husband. But Blaine freed himself and pitched around the other way, kissing Kurt wetly, messily on the mouth, the remnants of their come mixing together. Their chests were heaving and Kurt grabbed around him and held him tight, Kurt's body quaking from exertion and need and lots and lots of oxytocin circulating in his bloodstream.
"Kurt," Blaine panted when their lips finally parted.
"Blaine?"
"I am so in love with you." Blaine's chest rose and fell heavily with each breath he took, and Kurt grinned at the streak of come smeared on his cheek. "Like - I am so in love with you right now," Blaine continued. "My heart feels like it'll explode any minute. I mean, I'd ask you to marry me, but you already have."
Kurt laughed breathlessly, feeling boneless. All solid parts of him seemed to have been replaced by some sort of pixie dust made of mirth and love and orgasms, and he wondered if he wouldn't just float away if Blaine wasn't there to hold him, like Peter Pan and Wendy. He certainly had enough happy thoughts.
"You should ask me anyway," Kurt told him, kissing his forehead, his damp curls leaving a little drop of sweat on Kurt's nose.
Blaine grinned. "Okay." He paused. "Do I have to kneel?"
Kurt shook his head. "Nope."
Blaine's smile softened, and he took Kurt in his arms, cradling his head. "Kurt Anderson-Hummel," he started, and Kurt wanted to giggle. "Will you still be my husband? From now until the end of forever?"
"For always," Kurt whispered, and sealed his promise with a kiss.
* * *
Blaine wasn't sure how much time had passed when he woke up and saw Kurt gazing at him with eyes full of love, but the sun was streaming bright through the bedroom window, and he figured it had been a while.
"Hi," Kurt said, his voice a little rough.
"Hi," Blaine croaked back. "I think we missed breakfast."
Kurt laughed hoarsely. "I think we missed lunch."
"What time is it?"
Blaine watched Kurt reach over to his nightstand, the muscles in his back and shoulders rippling under his fair skin, now blemished with tooth-marks and hickeys. "It's two-fifteen."
"Mmm. I can't think of a better way to spend the day than to spend it in bed with you," Blaine said, grabbing Kurt's hand and kissing it.
"Well, I think we've succeeded in that," Kurt said. "But I think it's time for an out-of-bed break - we are totally disgusting. Let me shower, and then I can wash the sheets and make a late lunch while you get ready."
"Better idea: let's shower together, and then I'll helpwith the sheets and lunch," Blaine said, waggling his eyebrows.
"If you insist," Kurt drawled. "But if you're planning any funny business, it better happen in the shower. I don't want us getting all … distracted, shall we say, and getting jizz in our crepe batter."
Blaine beamed. "We're having crepes?" he exclaimed, already imagining the crispy, buttery pastries melting in his mouth. Kurt's crepes were to die for.
Kurt laughed again. "I love that what you got out of that statement was the crepes, and not the shower sex or the jizz."
"What? I'm hungry! It's after two, we haven't had anything to eat since dinner last night, and we've kind of burned a lot of calories …" He paused. "But that doesn't mean I'm ruling out the shower sex. We should keep our options open, you know."
"Whatever you say, honey. You go start the water, and I'll grab us some towels." Kurt dragged himself from the bed, beautifully nude as he crossed the room and strode into the hallway. Blaine watched until his view was obstructed by the hall closet door, and he made his way into the bathroom.
But when he got there, something felt strange. It felt … empty, or off-kilter, but none of those things were right. It was just something he couldn't put his finger on. He looked around again and then it hit him like a punch to the gut - none of his things were there. His face turned stony as Kurt walked back in with a pair of towels from the hall closet.
"Here you - oh. What's wrong, honey?"
Blaine tried for a laugh, but it was more of a cough that came out of his throat. "I. Um. None of my stuff is here." He paused. "I don't live here, Kurt."
"Oh," Kurt said, his voice growing soft. "Blaine - of course you do."
Blaine sighed heavily, trying to tug his fingers through his curls, wincing as they got caught in the tangles made the night before. It's okay, he told himself, trying to remember what Dr. Jacobson had encouraged him to do. Don't let this ruin your day. You and Kurt just had the most amazing night and morning - just be patient. It's okay.
Kurt gently touched his shoulder. "Do you want to tell me what you're thinking right now?"
"I - nothing, it's fine." It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.
"It's obviously not fine, Blaine. I can tell by the look on your face that it's not fine. Please, honey, talk to me."
"I don't live here," he repeated softly, yielding to Kurt's request. "Everything's at Nick's, Kurt. I - I was a little preoccupied up until now, so I didn't really notice, but it's weird. It doesn't feel like home. And - I don't know why I'm getting upset about this. I did it. It's my fault …"
Kurt sighed. "It's not just your fault, Blaine. We need to talk about it, but we also need to shower first. I'm so sticky that I feel like two-year-olds have been rubbing their grubby little hands all over me."
Blaine tried not to think about how they could've had a two-year-old, how she would've rubbed her sticky, grubby hands all over them and neither of them would've cared, even if she'd been eating peanut butter and jelly. "Well, by all means, then …"
"You can use my shampoo and soap." Kurt paused. "Actually, I kind of like the idea of you smelling like me for the rest of the day."
"That's fine, but I'm putting you in charge of my hair. I can't do anything with all that stuff you use."
Kurt smiled at him. "Just pretend that it's the olden days when we used to have sleepovers when Dad and Carole were in D.C. You used all my stuff then, too. You even borrowed my clothes."
"Actually, I'm pretty sure I left some sweatpants here. I can wear those and a paint t-shirt or something until I can get ho- back to Nick's."
Blaine felt his heart spasm in his chest as Kurt let go of his shoulder, his face falling. He hadn't meant to say that - Nick's apartment was even less of a home than the condo was, but it had just slipped out. "I - Kurt -"
"No, it's okay. I understand," Kurt said softly, hanging his head. "It's not like I've let this be much of a home to you lately." He paused. "Do you still want to shower with me? We don't have to …"
"Of course I do." Blaine sighed, tugging Kurt into an admittedly sticky hug. "I don't know why I said that - it doesn't feel like home there. Nowhere really feels like home right now."
"Oh, Blaine," Kurt sighed, kissing his tangled mess of curls.
"But that doesn't mean that I don't want to spend every waking moment of today with you. I - I'm not mad, or really even upset. It's just weird."
"Everything is weird right now."
"Everything but us," Blaine told him, hooking his chin over Kurt's shoulder. "We feel pretty perfect."
* * *
Their shower - which took longer than normal and used up all of the hot water in their condo, because Kurt insisted on washing all of Blaine, including his cock, and well, that led to other things - was exactly what Blaine needed to clear his head. As he stepped out of the shower on shaky fawn legs, clutching Kurt's arm and Kurt clutching his, he realized he didn't feel quite so homeless anymore. Sometime in between when he spotted another bottle of silicone lube on the shower rack and when Kurt was thrusting into his thighs, streaks of come coating the underside of his balls, Blaine remembered that home used to be wherever Kurt was. He wasn't sure why that couldn't be true again.
They dressed side by side, and Blaine discovered that he'd left more clothes than he originally thought - a pair of corduroys tucked in the back of a drawer, some t-shirts, his Dalton hoodie that Kurt had taken to wearing on long, lonely nights.
"You look so … collegiate." Kurt grinned slyly as Blaine pulled the soft, well-worn cotton over his head. "How you can go from looking like you did last night -"
"Which was?" Blaine dug playfully, interrupting him.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Like you stepped off a red carpet somewhere. Anyway," he continued, "how you could go from that to this - god, you look like a kid. A really, really hot, of-legal-age-so-it's-not-creepy kind of kid."
"The kind of kid you'd like to settle down with?"
"The kind of kid I'd like to fuck all night, and then settle down with."
Blaine beamed, laughing happily. "I love you," he said, giving Kurt a loud, smacking kiss. "Let's go make lunch."
* * *
"It wasn't just your fault."
Blaine looked up from the portobello mushroom caps he was washing. Kurt was standing with an empty measuring cup in his hand, poised over a large mixing bowl, a slightly tormented expression on his face. "Kurt?"
"This - this gigantic mess we've turned into. It's not your fault. It was both of us, or it was neither of us, and just how we reacted, but it wasn't just you. And - I think I might've made you feel like it was."
"Hey, where's this coming from?"
"I just -" Kurt said, whisking the batter with a little more force than Blaine thought was necessary. "I was thinking about what you said. About how this doesn't feel like home to you, and how it's your fault that it doesn't. It's not just your fault, Blaine." He took a deep breath, set the whisk down and turned around. "I was horrible toward you before you went to Nick's. Horrible. I know that. I knew it then." He paused. "I was stubborn, and I wanted things done my way. That's why I tried to clean out Violet's room. I think that somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought that if we could just move on, we'd be like us again. But I wasn't very good at listening to you or paying attention to what you needed, obviously."
Blaine couldn't meet Kurt's eyes, and instead focused on the large, round mushroom in his hand. He rubbed it gently with a paper towel, then turned it over, running his fingernail over its soft, brown gills.
"And then when you left … it was like somebody pulled blinders off my eyes. I knew it was the biggest mistake I'd ever made. I didn't understand - I should've understood, I should've paid more attention to you, but I didn't, and I thought I was going to die. I was so hurt, and so angry and I couldn't figure out how I could possibly survive without you, but I also couldn't figure out how you could possibly come back to me after storming out like that."
Blaine closed his eyes, trying not to squash the mushroom in his hand. "I know," he said brokenly, "and I've told you how sorry I am."
"And I've forgiven you, Blaine, a thousand times over. But I haven't told you how sorry I am," Kurt said softly. "Not enough, at least. Maybe you shouldn't have left, but I'm the one who forced your hand. I'm the one who was so awful there for so long. I drove you away - I've kept you away. I'm just as guilty as you are, if not more." He paused, looking at the ground. "Do you know that I haven't touched the nursery since that day? I closed the door, and I haven't gone in there again. It hurts too much. For a lot of reasons."
Blaine didn't know what to think about that. He could picture Violet's crib in pieces on the ground, could see the bags of books and clothes … and yet, the anger that normally flared in his belly when he thought of it was barely there.
"But Kurt - you were trying to help," Blaine said with a heavy sigh, feeling more tired than mad. "Your methods might have been a little misguided, but you were trying, and all I did was run away. That's all I've ever done."
"Blaine, first of all, that's not true. You didn't run away from our wedding, even though I went a little crazy for about three months, there. You didn't run away after Dad had his heart attack and I was ill I was so worried."
"But -"
"No. We've got to stop this, honey. You've got to stop feeling guilty for leaving, and I've got to stop feeling guilty for taking the nursery apart, and we've got to figure out a way to move on." Kurt paused. "I just wish I knew how to do it."
Blaine thought of the pills he took nightly that hadn't kicked in yet, thought of the notepad that he was still writing in, thought of the documents on his laptop. "Well - we're working on it, aren't we? Maybe we should just table this until we can talk with Dr. Jacobson about it."
Kurt smiled. "You're right, of course. It's not like we don't have anything else to talk about until then - we've got a lot of time to make up for."
Blaine's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"
Kurt cocked his head. "You don't actually think that I'd let you go back and stay with Nick after all this, do you?"
Blaine stood with his mouth agape, the mushroom hanging limp in his fingers. Kurt closed the few feet between them, took the mushroom and replaced it with his hands, affirming his presence. "Blaine. Come home."
Sweeter words had never been spoken. Blaine buried his face in Kurt's soft sweatshirt and nodded and nodded, letting go of Kurt's hands to hold tight around his waist. Home. All Kurt had to do was say the word, and the feelings of displacement, of homelessness were gone. Blaine was a vagabond no more.
"Shhh," he heard Kurt whisper, and it wasn't until then that Blaine realized he was crying. "Shhh, honey, don't cry," but Kurt was crying with him. They clung to each other, sniffling, until Blaine's stomach growled loudly and they both laughed into each other's shoulders.
"Okay," Blaine said, pulling back and wiping his eyes. "Okay. So, I live here again."
"You do," Kurt repeated giddily.
"And since I live here - do I get to make decisions about lunch? Because, as you clearly heard, my stomach is about to start eating itself."
"I think lunch-decision privileges are in order. What's your decision about lunch?"
"That we eat it. Now. How long do these crepes take to make, anyway?"
Kurt's forehead wrinkled. "Umm - total? Forty-five minutes, maybe?"
Blaine feigned collapsing, sliding to the floor. "Kuuuurt," he whined, the back of his hand pressed to his forehead dramatically. "I haven't even gotten my stuff moved back in yet and you're going to let me die of starvation."
"Fine, Mr. Gloom and Doom. We'll eat crepes for dinner. Or - midnight snack? Or something. And we'll get Thai for lunch instead."
Blaine hopped up off the floor, happy as a clam. "Okay. But we're going to have to get a double order of everything, Kurt. I'm seriously starving."
* * *
"Nick!"
Nick started awake from where he was napping on the couch with the TV on, exhausted from staying up late on Skype with Jeff the night before. "Wha?" He looked around, bleary eyes trying to focus, and reached over to the coffee table, trying to find his glasses.
"You are officially minus one semi-permanent houseguest!" Blaine exclaimed, striding through the door with Kurt at his heels.
Nick sat up, slid the glasses on his face. "What?"
"I'm stealing your temporary roommate back, if you don't mind," Kurt said with a smile, wrapping his arms around Blaine's waist from behind.
They were glowing, both of them, with huge, easy smiles on their faces. They looked happier than Nick had seen them since the baby shower and, yep, they'd definitely gotten laid. "Well, what are you doing here, then?" Nick asked with a grin, bounding off the couch and tugging both Kurt and Blaine into a bear hug.
Blaine laughed happily. "I'm just here to get my stuff out of your hair. I'm sorry I was in your way for such a long time."
"Actually, I'll really miss you," Nick said, ruffling Blaine's loose curls. "Don't be a stranger, okay?"
Blaine shook his head. "I won't, I promise."
Kurt stepped from behind him, placing his hand on Nick's arm. "Thank you," he said earnestly. "So much. If it weren't for you -"
Nick pulled him into a hug. "I don’t want to play the what-if game," he said. "I was happy to be able to help. I'm just glad everything's working out."
"Me too," Kurt said, his eyes growing misty. "I need to make a phone call really fast - I'll just be right in the hall, okay, honey?"
Blaine nodded, kissing him on the cheek, and Nick couldn't keep the smile that radiated from his face away. "I'm happy for you, man," he said to Blaine as Kurt trotted out the door.
"Thanks. I am, too. I think we're actually gonna be okay. We're not there yet, but I think we're getting there."
"Good."
"Watching you and Jeff fall in love helped, you know," Blaine said softly, his head tilted just to the side. "It hurt a little, but it helped me remember what I was missing. I really, really hope things are good for you guys."
Nick beamed at him, his heart speeding up at the mere mention of Jeff's name. He hadn't been in this deep in a long time, so long that he'd almost forgotten what butterflies felt like, but he'd been getting very well reacquainted with them lately. "So far everything's awesome. I keep thinking it's going to get weird, but it hasn't at all. It's just - he feels like home, just like always, even more now."
"Yeah," Blaine said, turning to gaze at the door from which Kurt had just exited. "I know what you mean."
For the first time since he moved to New York, Nick's worry for Blaine faded. He knew nothing could be magically repaired in a night, but he also knew that he hadn't seen that look in Blaine's eyes in a very long time. It was the look that was reserved for Kurt, and only for Kurt, the one that made him feel like he was intruding anytime it came over Blaine's eyes.
He set his hand on Blaine's shoulder. "Need some help getting your stuff together?"
Blaine turned back to him. "Thanks," he smiled. "I'd like that a lot."
* * *
"Dad." Kurt leaned against the wall in the hallway outside Nick's apartment, blinking up at the ceiling, trying to control the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him the moment he heard his father's voice over the phone.
"Kurt! It's good to hear your voice. How are you, kiddo?"
"I'm good. Really good," Kurt said in a thick voice, incredibly grateful that he could say those words with honesty.
"You sure? You sound like you're about to cry."
"Dad." His voice shook, and he held onto the wall, hoping that something solid under his hand would make it all feel real. "Blaine's coming home."
He could've sworn that he heard a gasp and a choked sob on the other end of the line, and then it was silence for a long several seconds. "Kurt. That's - oh, son, I'm so glad."
"Thank you -" Kurt breathed deeply, trying to keep his tears at bay. "Thank you for never giving up on us."
"Now what kind of a dad would I be," Burt said, his voice still thick, "if I gave up on my boys?"
Kurt's breath caught as the story of the prodigal son flashed through his mind. The first time he'd heard it was at church when he went with his friend in second grade, and he remembered being confused - even then, it didn't seem to be a story about God at all, but about family. He didn't think you had to believe in God to believe in family. And although it didn't make much sense to have something like that in the Bible, he remembered liking the story because it wasn't one about some big scary man in the sky making it rain crickets or turning the ocean red - it was about a dad, and that he could relate to. Because boy, did he love his.
Now, some twenty years later, he was reminded how much like that man his father really was, welcoming he and Blaine back into his fold, never doubting that they'd both find their way home.
"Kurt? You still there bud?"
His mind must've wandered so far that he hadn't even heard his dad's question. "Yeah, Dad, I'm sorry - I kind of zoned out there for a second."
"I was asking, are you sure you don't want Carole and I to come help settle you guys back in?"
Kurt considered his offer - it would be really, really wonderful to see his dad again, and yet …
"I think it's something we need to do on our own," he said thoughtfully.
He heard Burt sigh softly. "I can respect that, but I sure do miss you boys."
"Maybe you can get Finn to come and set up Skype for you sometime this weekend, and we can talk like that. And I promise we'll be home for Thanksgiving."
His dad grunted. "That's an awful long way off."
"I know - but if I promise to make that caramel pumpkin pie that you said changed your life a couple years ago, will it make things better?"
"You drive a hard bargain, kiddo."
"I learned from the best," he smiled. "You know, I never would've said this three months ago, but I think I have a lot to be thankful for this year in spite of everything."
He could hear his dad's smile. "That's good, son. So do I."
Chapter 31