Question to separated parents

[electron_pusher]

I need broader input than I can get on my LJ alone. I appreciate your indulgence if this is slightly off topic

Comments

[silverfae]

Not only do I have no experience with this, but I've never even heard of nightly calls.

[electron_pusher]

Yer really helping my case here :-P

Nightly calls are pretty common. I just don't know if it's 5 min common or 30 min common.

[silverfae]

Heh, I never would expect my friends to take me seriously on kid issues, anyway.

But just...wow.. this is how uninformed I am.
I guess I must have dated some daddies who were negligent, or ball-busted by da mommas.

It makes total sense to me when I think about it to have nightly calls. I really, really, hope you get this sorted out, because from standing over here, with no kids, you appear a wonderful daddy to those babes. And you deserve to have whatever it takes to keep them close to you.

[murphy59]

I would venture a guess that it's about power.

[electron_pusher]

I'm afraid that's part of it, but it's hard to know for sure. I just want to talk to my children. To me it's not a power thing, it's a "I want to stay in touch with my kids" thing.

[electron_pusher]

I thank you for your input.

It's hard to explain unless you have kids of your own. I hate saying that, but once I had my own children I see the world radically different than I did before.

What make it a big deal is the stuff I shouldn't share publicly.

But thank you.

[murphy59]

I don't know, but that seems like it should be something that doesn't really have much of a time limit.

[electron_pusher]

I really want to share the details, but I shouldn't and won't.

Thanks for your input.

[murphy59]

Wish I could be more help. Good luck.

[indigodreamer]

This was about 25 years ago, but my dad called us at night when we were younger. It was a relatively brief call; as in, "how was school?" and "I love you." Honestly, depending on the age of the kids, sometimes there is very little time to work with between dinner, bedtime routine, and bedtime. When my sister and I got a little older the calls became less formally structured and we'd call him a few times per week whenever we had interesting stuff to share. It seems like I remember those calls being a bit longer. Hope this helps.

[electron_pusher]

Thank you. I do appreciate your, and everyone elses, input.

I feel like I should share back the situation details, but I really shouldn't. So, I just say thank you.

[indigodreamer]

Absolutely understandable. Good luck.

[indigodreamer]

A local attorney with whom I happen to live says the length of calls depends largely upon the age of the kids, the length of time the kids want to talk, and the appropriateness of the conversation. (For example, he has seen situations where the time was limited because the phone calls regularly caused the children to cry about the separation and about missing the non-residential parent. The court doesn't expect the parent to be a robot, but considers that if the parent allows or encourages the kids to become overwhelmed with emotion, the calls may not be what's best for them.) If the kids are simply wanting to talk longer because they have exciting things to relate, it seems that's generally smiled upon, though. The best interest of the children is the single overriding factor for everything.