ive been at the lake alot lately. i guess the whole alone feeling goes away when i'm there for some reason, i'm not sure why...maybe becuase i'm just temporarily distracted from it. caught some nice fish, gone for many boat rides. got a job at dollar general...doesnt start till like august 1st though but oh well i guess, its temporary anyway ( Read more... )

 "we're always pretending to be something we're not, we're actors in a play that we create, it exists only in our minds, we make our lives the stage, the setting, we're a million different people every day inside our heads, we appreciate conflict, notice ironies, we see deeper meaning, sometimes we create deeper meaning where there is none just to ( Read more... )

my mom told me a while back to give myself some credit, and not always be so hard on myself. i think i'm starting to be able to do that...like not in a cocky way, just more confident. damn, i think back and i remember deondre telling me that back in the day. "stand up for yourself, dont let people walk all over you." im alot better at doing that ( Read more... )

been home for almost 2 weeks now. its been good to just have some time to myself, spent many hours at goodhue. i think i really was startin to go crazy at school, and after bein home for a bit i think i'm somewhat back to bein normal. street hockey is in full swing...had a game last night. two nights ago we played for 4+ hours. dunno how we managed ( Read more... )

birthday in less than a week. cant wait to go home after our game saturday. hopefully goodhue will be thawed by then. megan insists on buying me something, even though i tell her not to. today we had debates in my protest class and i totally slammed this one kid it was awesome. not slammed as in like "hey your gay" but slammed as in i made a ( Read more... )

saturday we had a game in the pouring rain, krohn came that was cool talk with him for a min afterwards then came home with the parents to see nitcholas before he left for DC. drove around saturday night ended up chillin with some people it was a good time. today i did nottin really hung out in bath till em & jess picked me up. now i'm in the dorm ( Read more... )

have you ever felt surprisingly optimistic when everything around you is so shitty?

have you ever felt like a complete dick?

have you ever spent an entire week with 35 smelly sweaty dudes?

if you answered yes to the last question, have you ever felt emotionally scarred afterwards?

have you ever had absolutely no idea who you are, what you are aspiring ( Read more... )

i'm in BNY until tomorrow. then i'm back in bport, leaving for spring break at 7 am monday. then i'm practicing lax, practicing more lax, then beating W&J. Then practicing more. Then coming back to bport. Then beating fisher. Then getting drunk with muller & krohn? hope so. and then my spring break will be over ( Read more... )

school is school. lacrosse is ______. my room is a mess. muller will hopefully be home soon. i miss goodhue. my car has been sold. i ate macaroni and cheese at midnight last night. i'm living at 17 holley next year. i feel too blank to continue with this entry.

its tough to sit and watch. no, its worse than tough. its one of the hardest things i've ever had to do. if there were ever doubts as to my passion and desire to play, they have now been erased.

i had alot of fun last night. went to jeffs with brad, had a good time, seemed like a million people from bath were there but that was ok. jeff cheers me ( Read more... )