i wanted to talk to him. no one else. curled up on the chair in the fetal position i called him, expecting the machine. always the long songs to sit through, fuzzy, distant, before i could say that i missed him. but this time there was his voice, clear but far away. and i started a message, the usual sucking up of tears, when his number called ( Read more... )

when i was in the fourth grade, my teacher kept a mason jar of vinegar on his desk for a week, a raw egg slid carefully inside. i watched it with the eyes of a young scientist, intent on uncovering the truth of the matter. i kept notes. i put myself on notice. on wednesday he drained the vinegar over the classroom sink, the stench burning our ( Read more... )

i forget to write, huddled up with my swirling thoughts, awake but not present like being pulled out with the tide.

i haven't felt much like writing. it's winter. i'm tired.

... time to work at art camp yet?

across the table at the bad luck restaurant, i watched her become brief snippets of herself, the girl i met four and a half months ago suddenly bowed down at the Altar of Second Best. and next to her, the person i chased for years- sullen, self involved, powerful, with a kind of quietly compacted anger. it was always magnets with me, north to ( Read more... )

dear two thousand eight ( Read more... )

it is winter break and the snow will not stop falling.

global warming is a bitch y'all.

my nose is cold and i'm wearing a scarf in my house, trying to save the pennies for a future that looms ominously. they laid off four people at my job, indirect service part-timers, and i watched my boss's eyes fill up with tears when she told the staff at a meeting today. my boss who i've never seen sweat it, the quintessential prepared-for- ( Read more... )

my tummy full of food that we lovingly prepared for each other, the two of us cuddled on the couch. it was comfortable this time, his body falling off the edge of the cushion, my legs all akimbo over the arm. once, when we were new friends, we watched a ridiculous movie and our arms wound around each other just like this and we kissed like ( Read more... )