i am driving him away...just like what i did to nick...what the fuck is wrong with me...i am so fucked up it isnt even funny...I honesly feel like i have hit a new low.

WHy is it so hard to trust someone. I dont understand y? He is nothing like him...as far as i know, he hasnt dont nething like he has. Y is it i can believe a word he says?

So, i am home again...for hte summer. 2 years down 2 more to go then i am in the real world. Starting ot freak me out. I was also supposed to go to west virginia for the summer...decided not to. I never get to see my family, and i never get to see holly nad trisha, so i figure...i miss them i am going to stay here...and bc i heard the chef is ( Read more... )

So i have 3 research papers due in 2 weeks, and in the mean time, go to myrtle beach, move my room back to the original position, and i have to start studying for finals. Jeff moved back home :(. It is sad but true...i didnt want him to go but he did. It hasnt hit me yet, but at the same time i miss him. This is going to be harder than nething ( Read more... )

Why is it that when everything in your life, something really dumb comes along and BOOM....ur down...as soon as something happens, even small, i dont want to move, i want to sit in a curled up ball in my room and cry all day. I am so sick of dumb little arguments, and im just confused. I dont want to be pushed away, i want to stay where i am. I ( Read more... )

So...i am done with my co-op...been staying up late, partying, u know...i am finally relived that everything is all done. Well i am in acidemics,,,but thise dont count as ne thing...lol...SO things with jeff and i are going well...he is officialy going to another school next year, and get this..it is for law enforcment...yea...WEIRD...but hey, i ( Read more... )

well...to update on my icky life...things are going ok...not as good as i would want them to...but what can u do...nothing...so on the bright side, my co-op is over soon...THANK GOD. I can not wait for things to be over...just school in general. I guess things between jeff and i are getting back to normal...i just needed some help, and my friend ( Read more... )

i need help...now

I want to end everything...this empty feeling needs to go...im sick of crying. lieing, and faking everything. Everyone keeps tell me i need more confidence in myself...i know that, but i am so afraid of hurting everyone else...and him. Seeing him happy makes me feel better..i just keep pretending that everything will be...ok...to him things are. ( Read more... )

I feel numb, i feel crushed..for no reason. I have been feeling like this for about 3 weeks..just like a nothing. I have no one to talk to with out just holding me, and telling me everything will be ok...i dont even have a reason to feel sad. When i am with friends i am not happy, when i am alonei am not happy...y i am i never happy ne more...It ( Read more... )