"pregnant chicks are just bigger targets for my taser"

tucker max. it would be cool if his middle name started with a g and ended in lutious.

Whats the greatest make-out song of all-time?

so this one time me and my slavish went to topple a cornish hensaber. It was pretty dice with the stash in my bladies. That was until that squirlish sea demon came a gallanting up that fortitudinal capillary. She was all like, hey father, wanna smoke a goat in my boat. So I had to hit her with the nay no. Killa!

Ten minutes ago I got over her. Not all the way, but I'm smiling like a faggot again. And that's something.

A pleasant fall to the bottom of a well ( Read more... )

As a man approaches the tender age of 21, he may begin to think that a chapter of his life is complete and he may then wonder what he has come to know as truths about his life and the living that he has done. These are the few certainties of which I am convinced, in order of importance ( Read more... )

http://www.peepresearch.org/

at my roommates party, some guy tried to steal a six-pound lasagna out of our freezer. we caught him at the bottom of the stairs and he threw the poor thing into the bushes.

gainesville is plain and i am not in favor of testing students on silly things.

my poor body is not talking to me after saturday. i can't blame it tho.