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Just left him
So I just left him again. After a great day of relationship activities. I left right away this morning because I think he wanted to spend time alone smoking a piece of meat. I wish I could have stayed and now I realize maybe he didn't me to go. Yesterday when he wanted me to stay he said, firmly I think you should stay. I know what he means is ( Read more... ) -
I nee you
Today I asked you to run away with me for a day. To the mountains which you said he needed. I sent you a message trough space and you didn't answer. I took a shower to wash the hope away and the phone rang. I hurried convinced it was you coming to catch my fall, soothe my soul, give me love. It was a bill collector I rushed for. And somewhere ( Read more... ) -
Today I met Jordy
I met a nice guy who is Cuban and charming and friendly. I decided to sit in the little park in front of this home I live in. It belongs to Joan, but she let's me live here for $300, which is insane ( Read more... ) -
Feeling old and scared
When I was 20 and had just had Andrew, my dad was 43. Only 6 years older than you. Now I'm 36 and he's 59 and Andrew is 16.
Times flies.
Too fast.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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good morning, its time to go
Since I met Rob, I have cheated on him. First with Joey from the mountains, then with Jonathan from Tampa by way of DC, then with Justin from Yonkers, NY and then with Joe from the coffeeshop and now with Joey again.
Here is what I have realized:- I am no longer the girl I was. I don't need physical connection to feel complete anymore. I don't ( Read more... )
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Sleep please
I was hoping that last night I would finally have a full, deep night's sleep. I even took melatonin... Woke up 2 times for no reason at all (wide awake, the kind of awake that makes it hard to fall asleep again) and had 2 nightmares that jolted me awake. I miss my littles like crazy. Time to change my ways and fix this with Erika so that I can ( Read more... ) -
my medicine, my life
I have been trying to find that center of all of this. The medicine that I take, the anti-depressants, frustrate me so. Without them, I feel, really feel everything, inspiration rushes over me and I feel alive, with bursts of electricity inside me that make it impossible to believe I don't have to ever leave this state of being. But I also feel ( Read more... ) -
Just left and we only hugged once
Because I like to make shit difficult for myself, and right before I was going to do everything possible to not think of you, you invited me over and like the fool that I am, I went. And we sang together, and we laughed a lot, and we didn't look too long into each other's eyes. And we listened to the songs that reminded us of us and sang a little ( Read more... ) -
Near and Far
I love the feeling of being in love and I hate the desperation that always comes with love for me. I just saw this 10 minute film, a little one act that moved me. Serena, with Alfred Molina and Jennifer Garner. At the 6:40 marker, after the fluff, she confesses that she is in love with a man who is unavailable. She is in love, her character is ( Read more... ) -
What the babiness???
So, I actually went to go see the movie What to Expect when you are expecting. Some silly girl part inside me wants to experience the whole kit and caboodle. I want the husband, kids, big family, safe with money, white picket fences my best friend playing music everyday all day, like me. Kids, my 1, his 2 and ours. I can't help but feeling like ( Read more... )