i was so distraught yesterday that i forgot to talk about my weekend ( Read more... )

i'm trying so hard to move on. i'm trying so hard to get him out of my life completely because that is the only way i will be able to get over him. it's not working. i need help. i feel stuck.

i have this whole weekend off and there are a lot of people i want to see, but i have a feeling that i will spend it at home alone because i suck at making plans and no one ever calls me back to hang out. which i think i should maybe take a hint. i just want to do something this weekend. anything.

i want to go out and forget everything.

"no one will be able to love you until you learn to love yourself."

go shove it up your ass.

tonight made me miss having friends. i fucking hate where i'm stuck in my life right now. i want to stop doing drugs, kind of. i want to do better in school. i want to quit my job. i want to go out a lot and laugh with people i feel comfortable with. i want to everything to be okay between us. i want to get away.

why the fuck did i try to think that everything would be okay with eric and i? why the fuck did i try to convince myself so fucking hard that everything will work out. i sat there with a smile on my face getting my hopes up so high. god, i'm such a fucking idiot. as hard as i try to convince myself, he will never change. i will never trust him. i ( Read more... )

for some reason i feel like this year is gonna be close to a repeat of last year. i dont know how i feel about that.

everything feels so weird, but kind of alright.

i didn't go to the rave last night.
i don't want to talk about it.
even thinking about it just pisses me off.

but in a way im glad i didnt drive to ohio with ryan because his car broke down in mars after taking me home last night.

bcubed needs to suck a dick. everyone is quitting and its sad when my managers have more respect for me rather than the people who are like 20 years older than me. fuck i hate being responsible. but on a lighter note i requested next weekend off so i can maybe have a social life for once. but saturday i'll be in WV for the evening ( Read more... )

i've decided to start over. or start myself over, more so ( Read more... )