The subject says it all. I am very lonely and unsure of everything, most of all myself. I look back to recent memory and find a warm body in my bed, who in the good moments would look at me with a smile and her warm embrace would follow, in those good times. Though my mind wandered back then and does to this moment for the experience of another ( Read more... )

Unnerving dreams of late, latest of which involved a chase of characters by some quasi physical butcher that used an old fashioned hand saw to hack apart everyone. Some characters seemed modern while others looked antiquated to the 19th century and earlier. The butcher wore black cloth and had medieval doctor's goggles on. Looking forward to a full ( Read more... )

Summer is a hodge podge of great times mixed with ever present reminders of the need to be responsible. Relatively responsible anyway. I feel time moving around me and its wonderful in a tragic way. If every fine moment of every stage could be eternally relived and never put in the past, it would have no value, to know that everything will pass ( Read more... )

another night closes for mich, sadly I havent been called to sub this week as of yet, I have one day guarenteed for thursday but I really need 3 days at the very least to make ends meet. The weather however is promising, snow seriously melts, trying to follow the early signs of where water flows on the property, bought a pickaxe to carve out the ( Read more... )

Starting to actually work, need to make my days stop going in the red with spending. Ive guestimated that i need 3 days of subbing a week to survive, 4 days a week to comfortably make ends meet, and 5 days a week to be saving. Stressed about money and finding time and gas cash to make a trip this weekend and the next for the last leg of our move, ( Read more... )

Indeed, another job secured, sub pay but daily work im assured. Thank the bearded gods. If I can make the boat float without tapping into reserves within 6 weeks, this plan has worked. Winters grip is stronger up here, snow on the ground but warm air is on its way. Stressed and peaceful at the same time, the hills remind me that Im just a small ( Read more... )

Up late these days for a window of time. reading back on my old posts its entertaining if not slightly embarrassing to see what a self torturing little shit I was at times, ok many times. Young souls used to write multiple time a day on this thing, shameless rants before the age of cyber accountability and your parents friending you on facebook. Im ( Read more... )