So I've been thinking about the tendency to be judgemental this week...not for any particular reason except that the subject came up in a conversation with a friend this week
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I May Be About To Make Some Enemies...russian_ivyJuly 12 2008, 11:03:26 UTC
I grew up in a family that was 1) religiously conservative and 2) politically conservative, and I constantly heard how "judgemental" those two groups of people are supposed to be of everyone. How intolerant we are. How narrow and single-minded and hatemongering. My reaction to that was to develop very good, non-conflicting manners, so as not be offensive, and to generally feel apologetic about the things I believed in
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Re: I May Be About To Make Some Enemies...leapin_jotJuly 12 2008, 13:08:54 UTC
Oh, I agree totally! Actually that is what I was telling my friend. In assumming that I'm judgemental because I'm religous, they're being judgemental themselves. Happens all the time. I often think that the most judgemental people going are the ones that are anti-religion or at least consider that only religious people can be judgemental.
I think your comments are very valid and true. They certainly mesh with my experiences too.
Re: I May Be About To Make Some Enemies...russian_ivyJuly 12 2008, 14:31:53 UTC
"Celebrate Diversity...unless it comes in the form of a Republican, a Born-Again Christian, or someone with a "Support Our Troops!" sticker on his car."
This is not, IMHO, true tolerance.
The only truly Tolerant people are people who don't have convictions about anything.
Sometimes I think being judgemental gets a bad rap. No, wait- hear me out! :P
I am probably one of the most judgemental people you will ever meet. I'm judging people all of the time! And I think if most people are very honest with themsleves, they would realize they do the same thing. It's a defense mechanism; part of our human survival instinct, I think. We *have* to make judgements about other- look at their words their actions, their beliefs, seeing if those things are in harmony with each other- in order to have a modicum of self-protection.
For instance, I'm judging the heck out of my toxic!aunt and her husband, and my sister-in-law and her husband right now, and I don't feel bad about it all. Three out of the four are probably (sorry about this, ivy) are acting like the stupidest human beings in the world right. I mean, the stupid, it runs SO DEEP right now that the situations have moved from bizarre to absurd. The fourth person- my sister-in-law's husband- is just such a HUGE (sorry about this Lisa, and anyone else offended
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No Jennifer, I totally agree with you in these situations. There's a difference between acknowledging basic common sense and bad, foolish decisions that wreck lives. Calling a spade a spade is not what I had in mind when I wrote what I wrote in response to Lisa's entry. People make bad decisions for entirely selfish reasons, and sometimes there's no other name for it.
It was political and religious issues I had in mind when I replied. Like: "How-can-you-believe-something-different-from-what-I believe-you-must-be-STOOPID!" kind of thinking.
My first writing teacher was a pretty prolific children's author. We worked together for 2 years, and became friends. But she was so acid in her political convictions (how could any THINKING person believe differently than she did???) that I eventually just let our friendship drop. Must have been an election year. I have an aunt who's the same way. I love her; I like her; I absolutely cannot "go there" with politics around her. She just turns on the poison when I do
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I think there is a big difference between using good judgment and being judgmental. We do always need to exercise good judgment. However, when it concerns how other people live their own lives, even the mistakes they make, usually do not require a good deal of judgment from us...simply to stay out of their way when they would harm us and encourage them to always make good choices
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I think your comments are very valid and true. They certainly mesh with my experiences too.
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This is not, IMHO, true tolerance.
The only truly Tolerant people are people who don't have convictions about anything.
Reply
I am probably one of the most judgemental people you will ever meet. I'm judging people all of the time! And I think if most people are very honest with themsleves, they would realize they do the same thing. It's a defense mechanism; part of our human survival instinct, I think. We *have* to make judgements about other- look at their words their actions, their beliefs, seeing if those things are in harmony with each other- in order to have a modicum of self-protection.
For instance, I'm judging the heck out of my toxic!aunt and her husband, and my sister-in-law and her husband right now, and I don't feel bad about it all. Three out of the four are probably (sorry about this, ivy) are acting like the stupidest human beings in the world right. I mean, the stupid, it runs SO DEEP right now that the situations have moved from bizarre to absurd. The fourth person- my sister-in-law's husband- is just such a HUGE (sorry about this Lisa, and anyone else offended ( ... )
Reply
It was political and religious issues I had in mind when I replied. Like: "How-can-you-believe-something-different-from-what-I believe-you-must-be-STOOPID!" kind of thinking.
My first writing teacher was a pretty prolific children's author. We worked together for 2 years, and became friends. But she was so acid in her political convictions (how could any THINKING person believe differently than she did???) that I eventually just let our friendship drop. Must have been an election year. I have an aunt who's the same way. I love her; I like her; I absolutely cannot "go there" with politics around her. She just turns on the poison when I do ( ... )
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