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[ledbythelight]

Sometimes I wish I was a better person than I am. No, really. I'm mean and spiteful and I can't say anything nice and I'm disagreeable and just a plain old bitch. I don't like that about myself. I don't try to be. I work with a girl at school who I can't stand. She literally brings out the worst in me. I come back to the apartment, just emotionally

Comments

[midnightsnack04]

I can really relate to this, Erin. Although I know that you are truly a good person, which I'm not sure I could say about myself sometimes. Even the best people falter and have less than sterling attitudes towards or about other people that they interact with. I have been learning to live with constantly feeling like almost everyone around me is idiots. I don't know if this applies to you, but something that my dad told me once helped starting to put everything into context--he said that I judge people around me with the same expectations that I have for myself, which are very difficult to meet

[lovelark]

you can't get expect yourself to have this inhuman amount of patience. You just can't. It's a lovely standard, and it's a beautiful ideal, but there are people who are going to inevitably going to...drive us absolutely mad. There are jerks out there. There is ignorance. There is...cruelty. And I think that it's ok to be frustrated with it. If you don't allow yourself the ability to recognize it for what it is, you're going to have an anurism.

I think you're a good person. I think the mere fact that you're worried about the fact that you're ANGRY with this girl in the PRIVACY of your OWN APARTMENT proves that you're a good person. When most of us would probably find some passive aggressive way to make her life a little bit harder, the way she makes our life indirectly harder...

[thegreatbonsai]

Erin, i know how this feels. Except i LIVE with that person who i just cant stand. Its not easy to get over, but you just have to realize that they arent aware of whats going on. I doubt she knows that she pisses you off so much, and i doubt you could explain to her why. I give you the same advice as Peggy, find someone to talk to about it. Even if they dont share your feelings, or even know the girl, it'll be easier to let it all out. Dont bottle up stress the way you seem to be doing, cause eventually youre going to explode from it... and that just not fun.

I've never seen you as a bitch, or any of those other things youve listed. Dont judge yourself so harshly...