Do me the courtesy of not telling me who I want to fuck

[lefthand]

With the increase in invasive advertising, I see a lot of netblips about losing weight. It doesn't have the effect that I suspect they are looking for. More often than not, I find the before pictures more attractive than the after pictures

Comments

[waltznmatildah]

Well said, friend.

An interesting point to back ya up... As a psych major focusing on relationships and sexuality, it's interesting to see that according to a multitude of studies, most men are subconsciously drawn to women with wide hips (more likely to bear children, or so the theory goes) and an hourglass figure (they found that a large percentage of men appeared to be the most sexually drawn to women with measurements approx. 38-29-38, not slender measurements by today's standards). Though I am hardly implying that these are the standards of all men, it's an interesting trend to keep in the back of one's head. A perfect illustration of this is Marilyn Monroe - look her up some day, you'll find she was not a very petite woman!

[suzmonster]

You and me both!!! I likes my women without the bones, thank you. I like women with a visible layer of body fat. To me, that's healthy and sexy. I wouldn't kick a girl out of bed for being thin, but it's not my preference.

I'm the girl who is the atypical beauty. 290# of curves, hips, ass and thighs! I jiggle when I walk and I'm cushy to bump in to. I also feel incredibly sexy. I know I'm attractive, in spite of what society tries to spin. You give off the vibe I'm capable of and you can't help but turn heads. I feel sorry for the skinny girls who lack that inner glow confidence gives.

Amen.

[maiabee8]

"I'm a curvy female, but I dislike the "real women have curves" tripe. All women are "real" women, and they are curvy and skinny."

FTW.

[lefthand]

Actually, it is perfectly fair. It's a preference and it is personal. You will note that all of it is spoken in "I" statements.

It's what I like
and no one has the right to tell me how I should feel
that is, in short, my original objection.

I object to people telling me what my preferences should be (or worse, what it is, despite my belief that it is otherwise) regardless of how well intentioned that information is.

[munin]

It's always nice to read something like this. Most days my self-confidence is just fine but occasionally I have "fat girl angst" as our friend lavendargrrl likes to call it. And after seeing the video of a baby shower from last night I have to say that today I am angsting more than normal. So yeah, very nice to read something like this, today especially.

[maiabee8]

I think you are more likely to see women loving their bodies and wanting to take their clothes off around you if instead of saying that women ought to look a certain way that is not the standard 'hollywood' look you said that women are sexy when they read cool books and have interesting hobbies and can have a lively discussion on XYZ topic.

A culture that tells women that our bodies are what's most desirable about our selves is a culture that inhibits women's comfort in those bodies.

[lefthand]

You missed the point. I stated what I like. I have neither the time nor the inclination to make all women happy so I do what I can with those I enjoy.

It's funny that in trying to say that not everyone subscribes to a given ideal, I get mandates of other ideals I should be following instead.

[maiabee8]

Oh! I thought we were discussing mandates on ideals as you seemed to be criticizing one and advocating another, I wanted to point out the flaw in your proposal.

I stand by my statement though that by focusing on women's bodies we re-enforce a society that makes women feel uncomfortable in those bodies. It would be better if we started in a society that simply valued women as human beings - then we could focus on bodies (beautiful, soft, woman bodies) all we wanted and women would be flattered and feel safe instead of feeling offended and vulnerable.

[lefthand]

Flattery is, of course, telling someone things you know to be untrue in order to gain advantage so I suppose it fits... I find such an approach dishonest since it denies the basic interest and lies about the intent.