I think I might be getting something of a job. Well, not a job job but something as a trainee. (=I won't be getting much/any money direct from the work I do but I don't think they can keep me working without paying me. I don't fucking know) I was supposed to have an interview about it today. I went to the building, had no idea where to go from ( Read more... )

"Taas kaivan hautaa iloilleni ( Read more... )

Ach, wie ich Rammstein liebe! Ich hab das Album Reise, Reise heute gekriegt und find' es total genial. Ich brauche mich also damit nicht schämen, dass Rammstein meine Lieblingsband ist. ;)

I just had to. Rammstein are the greatest.

We're all living in Amerika
Coca-Cola, sometimes war

Feels like forever since I last updated. I've been up and down since. Right now I'm up. A week ago I wanted to die and now I'm doing very well considering. Mika's not moving until Oct 22nd. I talked to K yesterday and he was really nice. I think I managed to give a better impression of myself. This time I talked more than 2 sentences so it's hard ( Read more... )

We went to buy the phone (with Hilla, Mika and Onerva... At first I was only supposed to go with Hilla but somehow the car ended up being almost full). With my luck, of course, they'd ran out of the model I wanted (Siemens MC60). However, I paid for it and got this receit with which I can get the phone next Wednesday ( Read more... )

Just when I thought I was getting over all this shite. I was determined to think Mika's just another asshole who never really liked me in the first place, I was just an ass he could grab whenever he felt like it and joke about it. That made it easier for me to get over the loss. I felt hatred, and disappointment, something real vague ( Read more... )

If I'd had a shotgun yesterday I would've gone in Kurt Cobains's footsteps. I mean, there were a few very, very dark seconds when my mind was on the brink of losing it. I don't recall feeling any worse. The notorious Friday 13th was bad but at least I was drunk and could cry. With the tears a big part of my pain came out. Yesterday it only got ( Read more... )

I've been feeling like shit for about a month. There have been some nice moments somewhere in between but generally this has been torture for me. I now feel that even talking about this is not helping. So I won't. Yeah, this is another of those threats after which a nice moment comes to make my life a little bearable for a while ( Read more... )

Fuck it. I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. Not write for a whole week that is ( Read more... )

Here's the deal: I'm giving myself exactly one week "to get over him". It can't go on like this and I have absolutely no faith whatsoever in my chances. (Though that might change soon :/ which wouldn't be good as I need some clarity here, I need to know where I stand. And that I'll never know if I go on like this. That's why there's no other way ( Read more... )