not much time to update i am afraid. tons of stuff to do, too little time to do them. i just felt it necessary to updated afetr looking at my last entry and thinking, hmmmmmm thats not a good note to leave people on. so i guess, im feeling less hopeless but still a little lost and daunted. beautiful day today too. love the feeling of the sunshine ( Read more... )

other times. i just go nuts, crying, jumping around, unable to stand still think. just knowing something isnt right but not quite knowing why and fed up with it all. just crying and crying, till the crying has degerated to mini wails. wishing i understood better, and wishing that loveing justin and being loved by him was enough. but knowing that ( Read more... )

so here i am. seminar started a few seconds ago. and im stuck here. Perfectly lucid, mind you, but unable to attend due to the "special relationship" i've developed with the powder room. ah me. well, at least it is a dreary day, thats some consolation ( Read more... )

so an otherwise incredibly monotonous evening (we had maybe 5 sales the whole night, in four long hours, yesh) was saved by the appearance of many of my beloved johnnie-friends ( johnnie-philos). there was even an encounter with a witchy unhappy bitchy craphead of a person, witnessed by some of said posse', who afterwards made me feel much better ( Read more... )

and i suppose i have an excuse, maybe. ah well ( Read more... )

All I've got right now is the big, "I dunno," or, "I'm still considering it ( Read more... )

dillion is engaged. He asked her on their year anniversary. She looked so incredibly happy, so silly with happiness.. Maya apparently said to her that this changed her whole world view, her oral doesnt seem like such a big deal compared with the implications that being engaged brings. stuff like that really makes you think.

As an aside, me having trouble with roadblocks, always happens in my relationships with people, often my dad or brother or grandfather. Though, over the years, I have gotten much better and keep my cool much longer, but damn they know how to fire me up. And i let them. Sarah.. seems to have moved in to the closer circle, so my patience is often ( Read more... )

One of the things I'm Known for is my ablity to do movie-like things; in that, I am incredibly resourceful ( Read more... )