Hate to do this but...


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I laughed too hard this week.  And now I'm paying the price.

You shared a picture of yourself.  I want to scream at you and REALLY explain why you need to stop that.  But the unfiltered truth would leave a massive gaping hole in me, and the repercussions would be somehow even MORE painful than how I feel now.  Perhaps if I warped the truth in some ( Read more... )

That hit of dopamine I get when you message me is making me sick.  When you make me laugh uncontrollably I am disgusted with myself.   Every smile you force on my face, every positive emotion you elicit, all your validation and positivity is hurting me badly.   Without light then darkness wouldn't be dark.  People like you are the coldest reminder ( Read more... )

The weak breeze whispers nothing

The water screams sublime

His feet shift, teeter-totter

Deep breath, stand back, it’s time
Toes untouch the overpass

Soon he’s water bound

Eyes locked shut but peek to see

The view from halfway down
A little wind, a summer sun

A river rich and regal

A flood of fond endorphins

Brings a calm that knows no equal
You’re ( Read more... )

"Who built Thebes of the seven gates?
In the books you will find the names of kings.
Did the kings haul up the lumps of rock?
And Babylon, many times demolished
Who raised it up so many times? In what houses
of gold-glittering Lima did the builders live?
Where, the evening that the Wall of China was finished
Did the masons go? Great Rome
Is full of ( Read more... )

Is this a triumph?

I'm still here, and I can feel it all.

The wet heat of the day temporarily melted away, the oil slick grease of my flesh clean for the moment.

In my refreshed relief I can embrace the slightly cooler night with a bit more of an eager vigor.

I'm still alive

The thoughts and plans rushing through my mind remind me of this.

The ( Read more... )

I don't know if this is true or if I'm just making this up, but I remember hearing something like that in Japanese mythology if you have a cat that lives a long life, in the afterlife it's tail will split in two and it's spirit will bring you good luck.  Or bad luck... I don't know.

Let's lean on the good luck.

Pandora, when we were going to the ( Read more... )

“What to do, when a ship carrying a hundred passengers suddenly capsizes and there is only one lifeboat? When the lifeboat is full, those who hate life will try to load it with more people and sink the lot. Those who love and respect life will take the ship's axe and sever the extra hands that cling to the sides.”

― Pentti Linkola

Happy new years!  Greybeard is unfortunately gone.  We made him a nice wood casket and put down, waxworms, nuts, and other things he liked in there, and placed him in a cairn in the woods, the cairn keeps growing. My ducks are laying! I can't wait to hatch out the next generation.

Oh yeah and I'm still eating the ducks.  I'm surprised, sure there ( Read more... )

Just wanted to update. I live on a farm now, I have several garden beds with fruit, herbs, and veg and a few flower beds with plans to build a whole lot more. We also have started some hazelnuts and plan to get some young fruit trees ( Read more... )