Why do I allow him to upset me still ( Read more... )

I know I'm going to pee at least 3 more times before I retire for the night.

And after pouing a gallon of coffee into my belly, it's not like I'm going to sleep anyway.

If it wasn't for coffee I don't think I'd ever shit.

You guys all know the difference between broccoli and cauliflower, right ( Read more... )

I really loved this weekend. The best weekends are the ones where I don't get any laundry or homework done ( Read more... )

So this week, with my mother off galavanting across Yellowstone on her honeymoon, I have taken the liberty of dabbling in the art of cooking with reefer. I followed the basic instructions I recieved from Justin McKinney: sous chef of humboldt county, which were to cook it in butter until the butter clarifies, strain it and use as normal butter in ( Read more... )

MY HAIR WON'T FUCKING CURL!!!!

I got a manicure rendering me utterly useless and I dread the notion of wearing gloves for cake assembly. The best thing about a french manicure is that it hides the dirt under my nails ( Read more... )

I could have sworn I wasn't this fat 2 days ago.
If I were a superhero, I'd be the Amazing Blob Woman, capable of suffocating a room full of bad guys with my cellulite.

Yesterday my face exploded into a fantastic array of pimples.
I like to think of them as little red stars across my face.
Oh look! I can see Orion!

Look away! I'm hideous.