i hate to add another 'what she said' post. But, really, what she said. Don't worry so much about what to call yourself. just love who you love. you never know what life is going to hit you with, so why limit yourself if you don't have to.
It's not entirely the same coin but I think I can understand some of your boyfriend's anxieties.
So, for background, when I first met my girlfriend, A, she was decidedly non-sexual, had never wanted to even kiss someone. We spent a lot of our first year together discussing our sexualities and sexual preferences, and it's been really fantastic. She's amazing and wonderful but I occasionally get this awful, niggling, fear that she will one day decide she doesn't want me. That's the flip-side of falling so hard, if the fear that this sudden rush of happiness will be a flash in the pan.
Telling him he's being silly, and being open about your desires is the best way to deal with this. He'll get the message soon enough. Best of luck. :)
P.S. As for the second part of your question, your feelings and opinions are never false, and the only person you have to be loyal to is yourself. Although anyone who calls you "traitor" is a self important ass.
I hate the word bisexual because I really consider myself "biamorous" - I develop emotionally-intimate as well as sexually-intimate feelings for someone. Interestingly, I don't have orgasms with other people. I never have. I can get off by myself in three minutes but I can't "let go" with others. But I loooooove sex because I love getting them off and thinking about it later.
And emotionally, I'm far more attracted to men because I've been hurt less by them in the past. My female break-ups have all been nightmares that still wound me to this day. But sexually, I'm more attracted to women - ironically, women/girls who have never had a same-sex partner and for whom I'm their first orgasm ever. I think it's a contiuum for a lot of people. Ask me to choose between sleeping with Criminal Minds' Mattew Gray Gubler or Paget Brewster and I'd have to close my eyes and play "eeeenie-meany-miney-mo," LOL.
Yes, of course for myself. I was commenting on my own personal experience based on a post where another LJ user felt conflicted about her own personal search for an "identity label."
Sure, it's not a problem :) I get what you mean now. It just sounded weird at first being about the other user and people in general and saying that, since there's (sadly) too much biphobia and label politics within the LGBTQ community.
I'm both SOOO happy for you (that you found someone that it seems like you REALLY LOVE -- and that he has a boat! ahahah) and so bummed for you that because of society's labels you have to "worry" about what people are thinking about you and what new label you have to put on yourself.
but there's good news... YOU DON"T HAVE TO!! you don't have to label yourself, you don't have to wonder what people are thinking. They're going to think what they're going to think. It's a life-lesson that few of us truly grasp. Now is your chance. :)
ENJOY this relationship! Enjoy every moment, whether you stay together for 2 months, or 20 years. Nothing tanks a relationship faster than self-doubt. Stand tall my friend. Stand tall and love who you love.
I don't have a whole lot to add to what others have said, but you should check out Erika Moen's web comics, especially this one piece titled "Queer" (warning, it's slightly graphic/NSFW): http://www.erikamoen.com/comics-portfolio/queer/ Also some of the pages of DAR, especially tagged "identity" (again, NSFW warning): http://www.darcomic.com/tag/identity/
Just sounded like a pretty similar story in a lot of ways. :)
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So, for background, when I first met my girlfriend, A, she was decidedly non-sexual, had never wanted to even kiss someone. We spent a lot of our first year together discussing our sexualities and sexual preferences, and it's been really fantastic. She's amazing and wonderful but I occasionally get this awful, niggling, fear that she will one day decide she doesn't want me. That's the flip-side of falling so hard, if the fear that this sudden rush of happiness will be a flash in the pan.
Telling him he's being silly, and being open about your desires is the best way to deal with this. He'll get the message soon enough. Best of luck. :)
P.S. As for the second part of your question, your feelings and opinions are never false, and the only person you have to be loyal to is yourself. Although anyone who calls you "traitor" is a self important ass.
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And emotionally, I'm far more attracted to men because I've been hurt less by them in the past. My female break-ups have all been nightmares that still wound me to this day. But sexually, I'm more attracted to women - ironically, women/girls who have never had a same-sex partner and for whom I'm their first orgasm ever. I think it's a contiuum for a lot of people. Ask me to choose between sleeping with Criminal Minds' Mattew Gray Gubler or Paget Brewster and I'd have to close my eyes and play "eeeenie-meany-miney-mo," LOL.
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For yourself, right? Even if you hate a label because it doesn't apply to you it doesn't mean it can't fit someone else like a glove.
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but there's good news... YOU DON"T HAVE TO!! you don't have to label yourself, you don't have to wonder what people are thinking. They're going to think what they're going to think. It's a life-lesson that few of us truly grasp. Now is your chance. :)
ENJOY this relationship! Enjoy every moment, whether you stay together for 2 months, or 20 years. Nothing tanks a relationship faster than self-doubt. Stand tall my friend. Stand tall and love who you love.
Cheers.
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Just sounded like a pretty similar story in a lot of ways. :)
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