FIC for peskywhistpaw: "Things Lily Thinks But Never Says in Fourth Year"

[mod_less]

Title: Things Lily Thinks But Never Says in Fourth Year
Author: bewarethesmirk
Recipient: peskywhistpaw
Rating: PG-13
Words: ~4,000
Warnings: None.
Summary: Lily Evans thinks fourth year will be the same as third year, but she’ll be proven wrong on more than one occasion by none other than her friend, Severus Snape.
Author's Notes: I really hope you enjoy this, peskywhistpaw! Thank you

Comments

[torino10154]

Oh! If Lily had only said any of those things to Snape. I really enjoyed reading something from her POV. Bittersweet fic. Well done.

[bewarethesmirk]

Someone from my flist, ftw! :)

I always like to think about the things we could have done or could have said that would change our futures, and I think Snape/Lily is a really tragic (and thus fun to write about :P) example of that.

Thanks for reading! I didn't really think about whose point-of-view the fic would be from. I just starting writing Lily's and that's where I ended up! However, a lot of people have commented on it, so I'm guessing it must be rarer in Snily fic.

[randomneses]

Aw, you know, I liked this. I also appreciate the existance of Lily having at least ONE other friend and yet still being drawn to Severus. Lily in this thing was delightfully dry (like the porridge bit) and still incredibly fun loving and silly (the coat bit especially).

The last two sections were my favorite, and I'm really picky about snape/lily snogging scenes and I liked this one, especially how she deep down knew he was still going to make those nasty spells but for that moment didn't care.

Good job :)

[bewarethesmirk]

Thank you! I'm pleased that you liked the snogging scene when you're picky about it. I'm very picky about Snape's characterization in general, and I'm always happy when people write a good--IMO--Snape.

I think Lily was definitely a Gryffindor, but I don't see how she could like Snape and not appreciate wit and sarcasm. Slughorn describes her as cheeky and that doesn't have to be just in a Sirius Black type of way. :P

[peskywhistpaw]

FLAJDFAJDAS;!!!!! FOR ME? REALLY? *SQUEE* THANK YOU SO MUCH, MYSTERY AUTHOR, THIS IS FANTASTIC!

My favorite bits:

When Severus and Lily lock eyes, black meeting green, they exchange a smirk. They’re both Potions geniuses, after all, and they know it.

Hiding a smile, Lily knows she’s been granted the sacred right of helping Severus brew a potion.

Severus leaves his hand on her arm for a moment that is defined, simply, as too long and entirely too short.

“Happy Christmas,” she says.
Severus tenses, looking at her, and then his lips curl. “Isn’t it?”

She hits him on the arm gently. “And here I thought you were colour-blind.”
“I’m glad I’m not,” he says and then his cheeks inexplicably flush.

"Prongs, mate, your line was ‘Protego’,” Black calls from the other side of the room. There’s a cacophony of laughter in response.

She’s looking anywhere but at him, avoiding his eyes, which she’s sure are black and intense and would strip her bare in a heartbeat.

“Kiss me,” she whispers, and he does.I was going to add commentary to each one

[bewarethesmirk]

For you! It was all for you. *g* I'm really glad you enjoyed this! I actually produced something I was proud of, which is a rare case in my writing endeavors. Thank you for pointing out your favorite parts! :D

[kerrisokol]

I really, really liked this, especially the last line. It felt plausible and in character. Very nice job.

[bewarethesmirk]

Thank you very much. With Snily, plausibility is a big issue. :) And characterization the most important thing to me as a writer, so your comment is especially pleasing.

[shyfoxling]

I enjoyed this a lot. These are my favourite lines:

Hiding a smile, Lily knows she’s been granted the sacred right of helping Severus brew a potion.

and

I wish you had someone to love you as you deserve to be loved, she thinks but does not say.

Oh my. That just makes me bite my lip. He definitely does deserve to be loved.

[bewarethesmirk]

Thank you so much. :) With the latter line (
I wish you had someone to love you as you deserve to be loved, she thinks but does not say.) I was trying to show true selfless love. Where Lily would be glad to be that person, but really, unconditionally, wants Severus to be happy.