What a gorgeous body, pity about her face, though.
A pity your eyes haven't been removed with spoons yet.

Other note: My lungs are dying.

Okay, all you pus-sucking motherfuckers out there
It's time to win a chance to butt-bang
Your daughter's tight virgin cherry ass to caller...666

Played loud to the tweatling ears of a fifth or something grader ( Read more... )

The house is full of natural things. Donna is in heat, Callie is in heat, the rabbits have made it known that they are of opposite sexes, the dogs who aren't mine shit and piss everywhere and I hope their owners take this into account when I ask them to watch my well-behaved dog in December and ask for unprovoked raises. My mind is shifting into ( Read more... )

So yeah. Callie is back and I can stop crying over a dog that isn't mine, even though she might be because I apparently have SUCKER licked across my body in bold flashing marquee lettering. Good thing she's cute.

1) Anna is afraid to tell her father that she had become a prostitute before escaping to New York, but her secret spills out during the clash of wills between father and daughter ( Read more... )

I feel like X and Z are kind of passe letters.

All I can hear is farting and shaking windows. I don't understand.

I found a tumor on Louie's side, tonight.

I don't understand why I do some of the things that I do... like sticking my finger in my bellybutton, becomming aware of the excessive amount of gunk, thinking how gross it was that I hadn't been keeping better tabs on stomach surface hygiene, proceeding to smell my finger, knowing full well that it would smell bad, and still being taken aback by ( Read more... )

Yesterday, Conor and I got a record player, two rabbits and eight rats within the period of one hour between a nap and the time I needed to be at work. One of the rabbits was for Tahnee Bee. Our neighbor (the same neighbor who's bratty wife convinced him to write us a letter regarding our trash disposal techniques) also brought over a rat that he ( Read more... )

Cedar House Summer Party!


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There is a woman here at work who just refuses to believe that there was a child molested after a soccer camp we held yesterday. She is sticking to the theory that someone is just trying to get a damn good reason for a refund.

I'm impressed by her doubt and naivety.