First time I've ran since the hospital. I am determined to make this year be the year that my body is at it's best. In the past month I have gained 15 pounds but I still have cuts in my abs. So that's good. That's normally when I would have let off the gas pedal some in the past. But this year, I am going to keep pushing and pushing and pushing. ( Read more... )

It's been a while. I think that it was only a few days after my last post in 2009 that I fell into the longest and deepest depression of my life. I took self-destruction to a whole new level for about 2 years there. It didn't help that Eros was also in a pretty deep depression, as was almost everyone else around me. I nearly drank myself to death. ( Read more... )

and the world is spinning, spinning baby out of control......."

more importantly,

"I don't want nobody else, body else
All the others look the same, same"

Here it Comes! D-day! and as usual it doesn't come gentle or easy ( Read more... )

My first semester of law school all I did was study, and I liked it. Since then I have studied less and less, and now that the bar exam is three weeks away, I am having a hard time getting into the study zone. Today is the first day that I actually studied with any symbalance of urgency ( Read more... )

There are definite peaks and valleys in life and the valleys often come out of nowhere like cracks in the earth that threaten to swallow you up. Some days I wish I could just disappear to somewhere new where nobody knew me and I'd never have to deal with my past again. Unfortunately, to do so would be to give up the connections that I do enjoy ( Read more... )

hahahahah, welcome back to the circus of the stars. All those multitudes that hate me are rolling their eyes right now, but the two or three of you that like me, might have cracked a smile ( Read more... )

When Sting becomes a reason to leave the room, you know your life has descended into either drama or meaning.

Eros' parents are in town. I was robbed of his parents. When we were together he was still a little boy and he was afraid to introduce me to his family and most of his friends. I broke up with three other people for just that reason, but I loved him so much back then and I was older and let it go. But it was hard. At the time I had to fight off the ( Read more... )

It's been a while. I have neglected this journal, like I've neglected many things of late ( Read more... )