ohh beth. that made me cry simply because i feel the same exact way. i know exactly how you feel. and no one should feel that way. i love you so much deary
it's like one part of me really just wishes i was alone in feeling this way... because no one should ever have to feel this horrible... but on the other hand... it's good to know i'm not alone.
i feel just like you darling. always here to chat. i'm just waiting for someone to fill my insides with something...maybe i can rent them for storage...
Exactly....have you ever read the book Prozac Nation? It's amazing, and it's so sadly comforting to know that there are other people who feel like this, even though you feel so alone no matter what...that you feel like a living corpse...
because you know that all you want to do is lay in bed and not have to face all the shit that'll happen throughout the day. and you wish that you could've just fallen asleep and never woken up, because anything is better than anticipating, and then going through, all the feelings of worthlessness and crappiness and shit that you know you're going to have to deal with.
and in my case, knowing that you'll have to witness, every day, what makes you want to kill yourself so unfathomably bad that no one can possibly understand just to what extent you really are hurting and how badly you just want it all to end and not have to see anything, witness anything, hear anything that will only further rip you apart, and only further make you just want to end it all for good.
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it's like one part of me really just wishes i was alone in feeling this way... because no one should ever have to feel this horrible... but on the other hand... it's good to know i'm not alone.
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and getting up in the morning is hell
because you know that all you want to do is lay in bed and not have to face all the shit that'll happen throughout the day. and you wish that you could've just fallen asleep and never woken up, because anything is better than anticipating, and then going through, all the feelings of worthlessness and crappiness and shit that you know you're going to have to deal with.
and in my case, knowing that you'll have to witness, every day, what makes you want to kill yourself so unfathomably bad that no one can possibly understand just to what extent you really are hurting and how badly you just want it all to end and not have to see anything, witness anything, hear anything that will only further rip you apart, and only further make you just want to end it all for good.
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why put yourself through the torture that is your life for one more day if you know you can somehow prevent it?
someday, all of us, sar,beth,me, we're all getting together, staying up until all hours of the night and sleeping however long we feel like.
and if we don't feel like ever getting up. we wont.
and if we have something to do the next day. we won't do it.
we all need a break. and idk about you two, but i know i need you so obscenely much. we definately need to spend more time together.
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